The Joys Of Co-Habiting

It's amazing the things I'd forgotten about Being A Social Human Being in the few months I was living alone - how you can (and probably should) eat a steak by cutting up bits of it with a knife before sticking it in your mouth; or how roommates can fucking stink up the place with their dirty dishes.

I came home from work a half hour ago with the place stinking like a mass grave - and no one home. Turns out it's the food he'd made with his girlfriend a week ago that was stinking up the sink - and attracting a hundred fruit flies or so.

Myself, I eat restaurant food, so the only thing I dirty are utensils; chances are I won't think about dishes for a long while, simply because I don't use them (although technically they're all mine). But fuck - I had to wash those fuckers because I couldn't bear the stench.

And, of course, as luck would have it - the worst one was the non-stick pan underneath the whole pile, covered in a slimy white substance I couldn't identify and reeking of morning breath - had that person eaten human shit before going to bed.

There is no way I could afford living on my own in this apartment again, and my roomie is a dear friend, but goddamn things like that make me long for the depressing days of living alone.