For almost a week, I've been looking at Future Shop's website (Best Buy for my American friends) for a store to stock up on headphones that are on sale - I need some because I want to listen to my Ipod on my way to work and to warm my ears in winter.
Turns out this morning, the site said there was stock - at the downtown Montréal location. So I go, at 10AM - I really want those fucking things. I didn't put my second foot inside the store that I was already getting raped by four hyper-caffeinated apes dressed in read who insisted on helping me. I say ''I'm just looking, thanks'' to at least give them time to slip condoms on, and head for the headphones section.
The pair I'm looking for, of course, is nowhere to be found. That's when another over-perfumed greasy-haired Laval resident jumps on me and offers his help, and I tell him I'm looking for the yellow Sony headphones that are on sale on their website.
- Yellow? Sony? No, man, I don't have that...
- Not even in the back store?
- We don't have a back store, all we have is on the floor, that's how we operate.
- The website says you have it in stock.
- Yeah, that happens. It means it's somewhere in the store, but we may have misplaced it.
- And you don't know where they are?
- No, man, like I said, I've never even seen those.
- Then what the fuck is your use? What do you do, here, exactly? Once you land on someone's back and they accept to be helped by you, has it ever happened, just once, that you gave the customer what he needed? How does it work, your job?
- Well, sometimes it's right in front of their eyes and I get to show them, and I get commission.
Now I know where all the retards work. And shop.
If this is how we'll Shop, in the Future, I can make one prediction right now: capitalism is even more doomed than I thought.
Showing posts with label Future Shop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Future Shop. Show all posts
Monday, December 13, 2010
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
The Stinkiest Alley In Montréal
I guess when they got the cleaning the City, they cleaned up that alleyway, too, because when you pass by it, the stench no longer causes you to want to vomit, but having been there in the early-to-mid-90s, I still won't venture into it.
It's situated on Ste-Catherine West, right behind a Burger King that been there for ages and what is now the downtown core's biggest Future Shop, although we used to know it more as the block that housed Labyrinth (rock t-shirts and posters galore, knives and lighters and motorcycle stuff too) and Mars (a dusty asthma-inducing basement - even though it was on the second floor - where they would sell bootleg CDs for almost $100 and one-off collector's show posters from the 60s to the 90s) - still, it's an area that most Montrealers passed by on a daily basis.
You could smell it from almost a block away, putrid, like decomposing homeless bodies that had shat themselves prior to dying there. When you'd see a hobo walk in there, you just knew he'd never come out - you had probably witnessed someone's final moments in the World Of The Living. Whether it was summer or winter, there was an acidic steam coming out of it that would burn the eyes, a somewhat transparent cloudiness of stench that stood from the ground to about twelve feet high - and it stank so much that most people who would walk past it would just hold their breath to not be subjected to it in the pit of their lungs and settle for teary eyes and temporary burns to the face and hands; it's a surprise a fast-food joint could survive and thrive there, considering.
A few friends and I entered it once, as a dare, the one time that it didn't smell like the pits of Hell had thrown up a sack of shit and sweat - we must have been 14 years old, three or four of us. It was a Sunday. We saw it to the end, it lead to a parking lot where the cars that were closest to the alley were rotting, like its extension into the world of mechanics, like they had caught a mutated version of whatever virus lurks in the air of the alley.
We didn't want to stay too long to not catch it too, so we quickly fucked off to Labyrinth, but we were uneasy being there despite it only smelling like decayed garbage and stale urine that time. You should have seen the look on people's faces when they saw relatively healthy teenage boys come out of there: shock and - not awe, maybe mistrust. They even stayed clear of our way until we entered the store, it was weird and pleasant at once, like we were Ghost Riders or something.
It's situated on Ste-Catherine West, right behind a Burger King that been there for ages and what is now the downtown core's biggest Future Shop, although we used to know it more as the block that housed Labyrinth (rock t-shirts and posters galore, knives and lighters and motorcycle stuff too) and Mars (a dusty asthma-inducing basement - even though it was on the second floor - where they would sell bootleg CDs for almost $100 and one-off collector's show posters from the 60s to the 90s) - still, it's an area that most Montrealers passed by on a daily basis.
You could smell it from almost a block away, putrid, like decomposing homeless bodies that had shat themselves prior to dying there. When you'd see a hobo walk in there, you just knew he'd never come out - you had probably witnessed someone's final moments in the World Of The Living. Whether it was summer or winter, there was an acidic steam coming out of it that would burn the eyes, a somewhat transparent cloudiness of stench that stood from the ground to about twelve feet high - and it stank so much that most people who would walk past it would just hold their breath to not be subjected to it in the pit of their lungs and settle for teary eyes and temporary burns to the face and hands; it's a surprise a fast-food joint could survive and thrive there, considering.
A few friends and I entered it once, as a dare, the one time that it didn't smell like the pits of Hell had thrown up a sack of shit and sweat - we must have been 14 years old, three or four of us. It was a Sunday. We saw it to the end, it lead to a parking lot where the cars that were closest to the alley were rotting, like its extension into the world of mechanics, like they had caught a mutated version of whatever virus lurks in the air of the alley.
We didn't want to stay too long to not catch it too, so we quickly fucked off to Labyrinth, but we were uneasy being there despite it only smelling like decayed garbage and stale urine that time. You should have seen the look on people's faces when they saw relatively healthy teenage boys come out of there: shock and - not awe, maybe mistrust. They even stayed clear of our way until we entered the store, it was weird and pleasant at once, like we were Ghost Riders or something.
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