America Versus Poutine

So someone at BuzzFeed is angry that Americans can't do poutine right, and explains how and why in much detail...

Source: midnightpoutine.ca

Let me tell you something, Henry Goldman, sir, most of Canada can't get it right either. In Toronto, most places use mozzarella or regular cheddar rather than cheddar curds; in Manitoba or Saskatchewan, you can get a severe beating just for ordering one - and my fist was sore from defending myself (and cops were coming), so I had to leave before it even got to my table.

Truth is, while the Rest Of Canada has shown a bizarre love for poutine in particular but Québec foods in general (the current debate is figuring out which between poutine and pea soup is the country's official dish...), it's pretty hard to find a decent fries-brown sauce-cheese meal outside of La Belle Province. Heck, there are probably as many good ones as there are God-awful ones even in Québec.

What we need is a list of decent places, pictures, and a how-to list that we can print out and carry at all times and take out whenever we crave one, and force restaurants to make us one on the spot whether it's on the menu or not - it could become the ''order off the menu'' of our generation.

Fries, cheese curds, warm gravy on top.

Paradise.

Yesterday's Poutine

If you know me a little bit, you know I have habits. Like watching hockey games, drinking beer, cooking, collecting cards and autographs.

If you've been around me for the past 3-to-5 years or so, you'd know I'd gained a lot of weight (100 pounds) in the few years prior and decided to control the situation by eating just one poutine per week, and it was to be on Tuesdays because that's when the La Belle Province next to my workplace had a special I liked: the city's best poutine (two layers of curdled cheese, cayenne pepper in their sauce, amazing fries), a burger and a drink for $6 - can't beat that.

It was my Tuesday Poutine ritual, usually at lunch time.

But the place closed down two years ago, because the owner got caught cheating on his taxes.

Tuesdays, however, remained my Poutine Day. And yesterday, I went to Poutineville for some high-class junk, and here's what I ordered:

Aside - or rather, on top - of the usual fries, cheese and gravy, were generous portions of ground beef (hamburger meat), bacon, and hot dog wieners. The best $15 poutine I've ever had, though a bit on the salty side, but nothing a beer (Cheval Blanc, Blanche) couldn't wash down.

4.5/5

Poutine Tuesdays

Discipline. It's what makes a man.

But once a week I indulge in the best meal not made with/from an animal on the planet, and today will be no different.

Poutine.

Except I think I'll go with pasta sauce rather than gravy, i.e. ''Italian poutine''. With extra fucking cheese. Like the Video Of The Week you're about to see posted.