Obama Eats Babies

After being called the Antichrist, a Muslim, a friend of terrorists, a socialist, been referred to in racist terms... Barack Obama now eats babies! What's next, a puppy-kicker?

If only the game was the least bit addictive. I got bored after 4 babies the first time, and 7 the next when I gave it another chance.

Nope.

Poor Bono

Fucking paparazzi. There is nowhere left to hide for celebs who just want to relax a little... damn modern technology.

I agree the pictures look bad (for his reputation as a model family man, not that he or the barely legal teens look anything less than great). But if there were any that were worse, they'd be there, in that article, too. The paparazzi have no morals or limits, so if he had participated in an orgy of young flesh - or even just taken one - they would have pics. But they don't.

So the dude partied, drank, and took pictures in warm weather with bikini-clad 19-year-olds. Last time I checked, it wasn't a crime in either France (where he was), Ireland, or the rest of the UK (where he's from and lives mostly). His bases are covered.

Leave Bono ALOOOONE!!!!!

Election Fever?

First it was a federal election which proved useless because the conservatives remained a minority. So we spent $300M (yes, three hundred million dollars) to end up just about exactly where we were, which is at a stalemate, with much more interest in the American federal election.

So the American federal election happens next week. We'll know just how fucked our neighbours to the South are, and whether they intend on fixing themselves up or want to wait until they get even worse.

So the fashionable word these days is election. Since our provincial government can't make their own minds up and would rather follow trends rather than set them, they want in on the fun. Those bastards know how fed up we are with the whole process, they know that chances they will remain a minority government, they know it'll be wasted money in harsh economic times, and they know how sick we are of seeing signs and billboards all over the fucking place.

But they don't care. And not in a George W. Bush ''my balls are bigger than my brain'' way, either, no, in a ''I don't give a shit, I have a budget I'm allowed to waste and I'M fucking wasting it'' kind of way that reeks of self-importance and seems to be the complete opposite of what public service actually means.

But that was expected, right? I mean, we're talking about a leader who has crossed party lines just to win and sit on an easy throne, who tried to sell a fucking mountain (is anything any MORE public domain than a fucking mountain???) to his condo-building friends; a party whose ranks just grew with other party-line-crossers (crosseurs?); a party that tries to privatize everything public and that does its best to work illegally...

A party that'll stay in power because people are unsure about the PQ's new program of not holding a referendum in the near future but that still brought, historically, equal pay for women in the workplace, affordable babysitting programs, facilitated unionizing, increased minimum wages and is vowing to keep post-secondary education fees as low as they can. Who the fuck do these commies think they are, Barack Obama?

Anyway. Elections. Yay.

I hear the Canadian Army is working on super-smart environmentally-friendly bombs that kill all humans but leave trees standing. Can't they work on one that eliminates politicians and corruption instead?

I'm In French, Too!

For those familiar with Céline Dion's mother tongue, my French blog can be found here.

In the best of worlds, I would write everything that comes to mind in both languages and they would be replicas of one another. Likely, though, they won't.

However, they may complete one another. It's like both hemispheres of my brain working separately. I just wonder which one seceded first, and if a unification is possible.

Who knows, really? Those who read both blogs, that's who.

Why I've been ''Away''

I haven't blogged much recently, because I've been writing my best (favourite?) song of the past 3-to-5 years. It's a weird situation, if only because I usually write my favourite lyrics in one sitting, in a stream-of-consciousness style.

But I'm writing this one song as more of a short story, in multiple takes and a variety of places, while doing my best to not make it epic. In Guns N' Roses terms, My Michelle rather than November Rain. Except it's not about girls, but more about the overabundance of possibly fun things that I seem to attract.

Of course, I'm only using a GN'R analogy because I'm currently reading their biography, Watch You Bleed, by Stephen Davis, that I really liked at first but as it goes on, the writing becomes less professional, more botched. But still wildly entertaining.

Marc-André Grondin

On apprend ici que Marc-André Grondin vient de tourner trois films en France, que les Français l'aiment, qu'il a maîtrisé l'accent parisien, qu'on le vend comme un mélange de Vincent Cassel et Romain Duris.

Ben, crisse... gardez-le.

Son plus haut fait d'armes ici, selon moi, c'était ses qualités de batteur (de drummer, pas batteur de femmes).

C.R.A.Z.Y.? De la grosse marde. J'allais ajouter ''surtout lui'', mais ce n'est pas vrai. Le scénario et la réalisation étaient bien pires. Mais ce film 'over-rated' en masse qui n'aurait jamais survécu plus d'une semaine en salle n'eut été de sa bande sonore de hits trop entendus des années 70 n'avait que Michel Côté pour le sauver.

Il y a des tonnes de films de 'coming-out' qui sont meilleurs, des masses de films à 'contenu gay' qui le dépassent, dont certains relativement 'grand public' qui se sont rendus aux Oscars (allo, Crying Game).

Les Américains et les British ont montré comment bien faire ces films-là; il faut relever le défi et les surpasser, pas en faire des copies pâles pleines de clichés.

Anyhow... Grondin. Rien de personnel. Mais profite bien de la France, et ne te gêne pas pour y faire fortune.

Google Ads

These are coming up after the text on my page.

It's a test, for now. Not sure how long they'll stay, but I figured since everyone had them anyway, we've sort of gotten sued to them by now, but they might not stay forever.

When Republicans Choose Obama

First it was Colin Powell, decorated former General, Bush's first Secretary Of State, whom the White House humiliated by sending him in front of the whole world to support the WMD theories. That wasn't all that much of a shock.

Then came Bush's former official mouthpiece, Scott McClennan and Arne Carlson, former Governor of Minnesota. Considering McClellan had also publicly said he had been manipulated when came time to defend the Iraq war, that wasn't a huge surprise either. Loyalty only goes one way so far before enough's enough.

Today, it's William Weld, former Governor of Massachussets, and Charles Fried, a McCain advisor who used to work for Ronald Reagan.

Just when I was thinking that McCain's new strategy of abandoning certain states and having advisors publicly backstabbing each other in newspapers might be Karl Rove's new strategy to keep Democrats at home thinking a landslide was coming and getting the Republican vote to come out and mean something might be genius...

It doesn't really look like a strategy anymore.

Have we all overestimated America's racism? Could they really go back to being the force of Progress and Reason on this big blue globe? Could it be (gasp)... HOPE?

I'm still doubting. Hopeful, but doubting.

And the New York Times endorsed Obama today. Considering their recent track record, that may not be the best idea.

Family Guy Has Balls

I haven't always been a fan of Family Guy. I've thought their strong points, the only funny parts, were in bits that usually had nothing to do with the story line, as opposed to, oh, say... The Simpsons, who fit their jokes into a story line, which when done right is much better, subtler, smarter, but when done wrong becomes obvious, apparent, contrived and cheap. In recent seasons, The Simpsons have gone back to doing it well, for a viewership in the modern era, when they had gone more '50s and forced on their base in seasons previous.

But Family Guy has taken a few bold stances worth noticing recently, and it would be wrong to not mention it at all. For instance, this clip takes a bold stance on the upcoming U.S. Presidential election by showing a nazi who supports the McCain-Palin ticket - of which I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

It remains to be seen whether Family Guy can go the South Park way and become a quintessential big-audience animation show that ignites position-taking and provokes thoughts on a constant basis (on current divise issues, more often than not) rather than just go for a cheap pop-culture laugh - and I'm not even sure it's their intention to get there either. But this particular shot was bold, and deserved mention.

On either side of the political spectrum, when someone has balls, it's good to talk about it; even more when they're on the right side.

John McCain's Sidejob

So...

Just how old is John McCain anyway? Well, on weekends, he's been used as Gene Simmons' double when KISS plays the Heartland...

Elections Canada, Take 2

So I've had 30-some hours to digest this. And what it comes down to is that if it weren't for Québec voting massively for the Bloc, the Conservatives would have a majority government, which would set the country back nearly 50 years in the exact areas of expertise - freedom, liberty, common sense, tolerance, peace, human rights - where we were once world leaders.

But when you look more closely, the independents have a tendency pushing ''to the right'', and some elected Liberals are over 60 and share some ideas with the Conservatives. Which means not only will their ''cabinet'' be able to slash all the programs they don't agree with (women's rights, funding the arts) like during their last term, but they might also be able to have laws passed this time. Laws that would make Canada that much closer to the U.S. - like having 14 year-olds tried as adults and able to face life in prison.

To think that we were so close to decriminalizing marijuana!

Some are arguing that Canadians were confused by the harsh economic times, and harsh perspectives... so they voted for the one party that had no plan and said ''everything was fine''????

It's also peculiar, but also self-explanatory, that the ''winners'' of this election have elected a grand total of ZERO (0) representatives in any of the country's 3 biggest cities - Toronto, Montréal, and Vancouver. Which means the three metropolitan areas that most represent the country abroad will not be represented in the government's caucus, which is perfect when you want to cut everything that made the country shine on the international level.

And it's self-explanatory because the Conservatives have been using the American Republicans' strategy of cheap personal attacks, dividing opponants, favouring small towns and the countryside rather than cities, tax breaks for the rich and increased military spending explained through false nationalism.

I'm glad Québec voted massively for the Bloc, winning two-thirds of all the province's seats. Not only will it stop the Conservatives from having an actual majority, but it also shows once more the difference in cultures between the two entities that comprise (and created, sort of) Canada. With its own language, culture and progressive thinking, Québec really is a distinct society. When the Rest Of Canada goes to the Right, convinced by fear, Québec goes massively to the Left, doing what it can to preserve its (remaining) rights, liberties and freedom.

While some pundits will try to say the Bloc's performance actually dropped 4% from last time, that's a spin that in no way represents the Truth. The voter turnout was actually the lowest in recorded history. The Bloc won most of the tight races, and lost by landslides in others, not wasting votes in counties they have no shot of winning in. In doing so, they effectively killed their opponents at just about every turn. The only hurtful defeat was of Vivian Barbot, who unexpectedly (and unexplainably) lost to Liberal Justin Trudeau, who had no business winning anywhere, let alone in an area where visible minorities are actually more of a majority. I suspect many dead people from the '70s voted, or that Bloc supporters decided to stay at home there as well because victory was assured - a terrible lesson that should be learned and corrected within 2 to 4 years.

Hopefully, Canadians will soon learn they've made a mistake and we'll get to do it all over again, and this time the Conservatives will take a huge nosedive for having taken a massive dump on us - and bringing us to the harshest recession in our history. If not, it won't be all bad - the Conservatives will make it ever-the-more obvious that Québec doesn't fit in with the rest of the country, and will facilitate its independence. Either way, the next couple of years won't be easy, but the future should be golden. This dark, black cloud has a grey lining, but I can almost see it shine.

Elections Canada

Fuck. Yeah. I think I'll sleep on that one.

How Does It Work?

It's quarter to 5AM. I've had an alright night, going all around town looking for a place to chill among fellows - with some kind of womanly attention going on. It took us at least two hours to get settled, but once we did, it was all right. So, Cafe Campus it was. None of us were looking to get lucky per se, but it was mutual consent, which is more than I can say for our conversations an hour previous.

So the Night happens, relatively uneventful; no one cheats on their girlfriend, no one does anything stupid, but some people are provided with a ride home, Facebook/cell phone numbers/emails, are exchanged, but no one gets hurt, right?

But on the way home, a real man deserves a poutine before going to bed. The girls go home first,but the men deserve fries with cheese and gravy; there is no more humane way to go to bed in Québec, period.

Problem is, I take it to go; and I watch TV when I get home. Tune into MusiquePlus, which should be the last cultural threshold we have before turning into monkeys. There is a Sam Roberts video, yes, sure; but nothing else worth mentioning, which is where the problematic issues arise. So... a half-decent rock video, and I'm-better-off-scratching-two-rocks-together-and-get-me-some-fire music.

It would (probably) be fine in and of itself; but when half the people you meet every day praise you for showing them unsigned bands worth checking out, when your own stuff seems light years beyond what is force-fed... your stomach gets some sort of a twitch. It would be vomit to most, but in 15 years of dealing with it on a nightly basis, you get used to it. It's the feeling that your City, your Culture, isn't doing half of what it should if the mainstream knew what was going on, even 10% of it.

Tonight, I could have had sex with 10 people; tonight, I could have started 15 bands - it's sad enough when the artist/fuckable female ratio is uneven, it's even worse when you trust that some of these people could bring something useful to the table.

In 2007, when I first took UnPop on my own, nearly half the bands had feminine content. Rock is at that level now anyway, whether you acknowledge it or not. It would be stupid and unfair to not acknowledge it, but some folks live in the past - and that's their choice.

Tonight especially, though, things stuck out. Girls are still waiting for that Grand Romantic Gesture. Why? You want s0mething - you take it. If it's not yours to take - you're told. No questions.

It's been a weird evening. I'm not sure whether that's because I've had more ''I want to play music with you'' offers (4, maybe 5) than ''I want you to come over and fuck me all night'' offers (3), but the math was off.

Either way - I got home by 4:30AM or so. Sam Roberts was playing on MusiquePlus. And the 0nly thing can got in my head was ''don't these guys have anything else they can play?'' Keep in mind, Sam Roberts is the most mainstream, conventionally-acclaimed singer-songwriter we have here, much more normal than Arcade Fire or Wolf Parade or Ghettonuns or AIDS Wolf. They don't play Beatles-like songs, but they don't seem like they're playing on broken instruments either; they're not inventing a style, but they're not playing to a crowd of 17 in-the-know fans either. Sam Roberts is the middle-ground for everything outsiders love about Montréal, but he's also the middle-ground for everything we can agree on.

Yet I couldn't help thinking everything else just sucked.

Maybe I was lucky; maybe Dead Messenger, Ghettonuns, Devil Eyes, Raw Madonna and the like are too raw for the mainstream. But then, how do you explain the success of Ideal Lovers, Coeur De Pirate and ElevenEighty?

I think programmers are just afraid of the Future, of what Montréal artists can bring to the table. And it hurts me inside, because I've seen that they can do it, that the empty space is theirs to take. On Bodies, Les Vestons, Allan Lenton, Elizabeth Bruce, Plunt, Nightwood... - I'm specifically talking about YOU. Time, money and energy is wasted on others. I really hope you don't get passed over like a passed-due carton of milk.

Wash The Dirty: The Treacherous Journey From Employment To Unemployment, Volume 1 - Etiquettes To Firing Someone

How would you fire somebody? And when? There has to be some sort of etiquette if the person has given you all they had to give, no?

If it's a lazy-ass troublemaker, no question, you boot them out. Take them aside - or not; then tell them straight-up: you suck, it won't do, you've had enough chances, get the fuck out, thanks for your time.

But a good worker? Someone's who's done everything you've asked of them at all times, regardless of the variety of tasks, of the degrading nature of said tasks? Someone's who's been burning themselves out to the point of obvious health issues doing the work of three people at once in five grueling 9-hour shifts per week (and who would be underpaid in the market for the work of just one of those three people)?

Today I witnessed a firing that not only made no sense in and of itself, but that seemed a little harsh (to say the least), considering. I saw the most respected member of an office middle-management team, who had been under employment at said company for just about three years - that the company had in fact stolen from a competitor - get the boot 5 minutes before the end of their shift, in the middle of the week, with a shitload of work due the next day at various times between 9AM and 8PM.

''We're no longer going in the same direction'' is the only reason given to the rest of the management team, also grossly underpaid and overworked, some of whom cried. Apparently, they had subtly offered the worker a(nother) new position in previous weeks, a proposition that was declined. But when you've had 8 job titles in the past year or so and had responsibility over 3 different departments in that span, I can understand wanting to stick to one thing, especially if the offer isn't all that clear to begin with and sounds more like a vague possibility than an actual threat.

It seems like company policy to tell people 5 minutes before the end of their shift with a few working days left in the week. To not give them time to clean out their emails and voicemails, to make sure they don't forget their lucky pen, to say goodbye. It's happened quite a few times in, say, the last couple of years, but this one is a lot harder to take. And I say this while I've had actual friends that I had brought to the company myself get the same treatment.

I've played hockey long enough to see people get traded, cut from teams, replaced. Heck, I've been traded (and fired too!) myself. Sometimes it's because you no longer ''fit in the plans''. Other times your value may be so high that you're now worth the same as someone who fills other needs better than you fill your hole. Sometimes you just don't get along, or maybe they just want to ''change the culture of the dressing room''.

These things happen, they're rarely joyful, but there are ways to do them right. But this... This ranks just about as low on my Chart Of Shitty Ways To Leave A Job as when I was falsely accused of stealing bootleg CDs from a record store I used to work at just because the boss' daughter didn't like working with me - but I'll save that one for a later text.

In the meantime, I've lost the person I had seen the most of in recent years, even if only because we both spent a third of our time in the middle of the same four beige-and-burgundy walls, walking on the same dusty brown carpet, breathing the same moldy air conditionning, drinking the same half-filtered water, bossing around the same nine people, fixing the same computers over and over again, sharing a desk and germs, working for the same greedy bastards, each working our different specialized skills to solve different ends of the same problem.

It's always middle-management that gets the cut. The executives lose clients, lose money, ask for impossible things and get raises. Employees can find their niche between working just hard enough and wasting time on the internet. But middle-management types get fired and the remaining staff members get to see their workload increase. Or, in hockey terms, I guess: it's easier to fire the coach than 23 players, and the GM will go through a few coaches before the President loses patience, and the owner will let the President go through a few GMs before losing patience.

But this coach was an anchor to most, a buoy to the rest of us. The Scottie Pippen to my Michael Jordan. No, wait, the talent has to be reversed: the Peter Forsberg to my Joe Sakic. I have durability (7 years and counting in this place), I'm looking at a Hall of Fame career of sorts, but the work could only be done right with a perhaps more talented but injury-prone superstar who would do all the things I wouldn't, while I'd do what they weren't able to.

And I work better, in most spheres of life, when I have someone who completes me rather than someone I completely share interests with. I'm only a good team player with a reduced team, and I like to exchange ideas to get somewhere. I have no idea if that's what I'll be handed tomorrow. Anyone hiring?

2008-09 NHL Predictions

So it's this time of year again, where people put their feet in their mouths hoping to at least get a few predictions right for something that will only really happen between April and June of next year... so many things can happen: firings, trades, injuries - and most of them will. In the meantime, a so-called 'expert' has to try to be Nostradamus. And here I go...

First off, the conference final standings...

Eastern Conference:
1. New York Rangers
2. Montréal Canadiens
3. Washington Capitals
4. Philadelphia Flyers
5. Boston Bruins
6. Pittsburgh Penguins
7. Ottawa Senators
8. New Jersey Devils
9. Buffalo Sabres
10. Tampa Bay Lightning
11. Florida Panthers
12. Carolina Hurricanes
13. New York Islanders
14. Toronto Maple Leafs
15. Atlanta Thrashers

Western Conference:
1. Detroit Red Wings
2. San Jose Sharks
3. Calgary Flames
4. Edmonton Oilers
5. Dallas Stars
6. Anaheim Ducks
7. Chicago Black Hawks
8. Phoenix Coyotes
9. Vancouver Canucks
10. Minnesota Wild
11. Los Angeles Kings
12. Colorado Avalanche
13. Nashville Predators
14. St-Louis Blues
15. Columbus Blue Jackets

Eastern Playoff Finalist: Montréal Canadiens
Western Playoff Finalist: Dallas Stars
Stanley Cup Champions: Montréal Canadiens

My reasoning is that, yes, the West is much stronger than the East, but they will be killing each other while the team from the East will have an easier ride and will get to the end in better shape, ultimately. Well, if the Habs meet the Stars, which would seem like fate, considering this year is the Habs' centennial and all the common ground between both organizations. But the Habs can't beat any other Western team in the Final; no one can, especially Detroit or San Jose.


Hart Trophy (MVP): Jarome Iginla
Art Ross (Leading Scorer): Joe Thornton
Rocket Richard (Goals Leaders): Alexander Ovechkin
Vezina (Best Goalie): Roberto Luongo
Norris (Best Defenseman): Nicklas Lidstrom
Frank Selke (Best Defensive Forward): Pavel Datsyuk
Jack Adams (Best Coach): Wayne Gretzky (runners up: Guy Carbonneau and Mike Babcock)

Fucking Buses (Murphy's Law Part 2)

We've gotten used to missing City Transit's buses, having them not come on schedule - or not at all. So much so that those who complain are viewed as impatient cry-babies or annoying assholes.

Well, I missed one on Saturday night, but I can't blame the STM (the transit 'company'/monopoly) for it. It's more a matter of circumstance, another fine example of Murphy's Law fucking with people's brains.

I was at a friend's house, visiting him for his birthday, in a pretty ghetto part of town that's a bus ride away from a subway station, having a good time, drinking some fine Cuban rum, and actually comparing between two kinds of Havana Club brown rums (5 and 7 anos, respectively). Since he works rather early in the morning at his new job, the plan had always been for me to leave at a relatively early midnight-ish.

Over the course of the evening, plans had developped with a couple of other friends, to meet them at their favourite bar, Le Passeport, smack-dab in the middle of downtown. If I can catch a bus that takes me at the subway station before its closing time (close to 1AM - what kind of self-respecting city doesn't have a 24-hour underground subway service, anyway?), all would be fine. It never happens, I always miss it, but technically, some day, it could.

So we looked at the bus schedules. One bus at 11:55PM, one at 12:27AM, one at 12:51AM. It was 12:15AM. Had we not been in Montreal, I would have done everything in my power to run the 5-minute distance to the bus stop and caught it. But in this city, with the STM's record of punctuality, a 10-minute buffer is nowhere near enough. The bus can be over 5 minutes early, over 5 minutes late, or just decide to not show. We decided it would be safer for me to wait 20 minutes so I could have a realistic shot at the 12:51AM bus, which would lead me to an area of downtown where I'd be a 20-30 minute walk from my destination, or perhaps I'd be lucky enough to have a night bus (what we have to replace the subways at night, which often only come every hour and stop running at 4:30AM) come and take me there.

So I get to the bus stop. There was no way in Hell this was going to be easy. There's a sign that reads ''because of the public works and street repairing, the service at this stop has been moved to the corner of Légaré street''. With no other signalisation, no maps, nothing. I'm not from the area, I have no clue where to go.

So I do the wise thing: stay on the 'main' street, Côte-Des-Neiges, and walk towards where I'm going until I reach either Légaré, or the bus comes back on its route because the repairs zone is done. Cross Plamondon, cross Carlton. Realise Légaré is probably parallel to Côte-Des-Neiges, so I look towards the West for a street big enough to have a bus re-routed there, but the only street worth a light is at least four blocks away. I decide to stay on my path, because four blocks is enough to have the bus zip right past me when I get there, and there is still a chance repairs will end soon and I'll be back on the bus' path. Plus, being on a main street, I can also catch a cab.

It's cold and getting colder. I hail a cab, and tell him to head downtown. Two blocks South, we cross the bus, turning back onto Côte-Des-Neiges. It's already cost me $5 to get into this cab, so I figure ''fuck it'' and stay in it, and head where I'm going directly.

I would never have caught up with the bus on time by walking. But Murphy's Law made it so that by taking the cab, I met up with it. And it's happened so many times with city buses that it feels normal.

Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds

Nick Cave is a difficult beast to explain to the profane. He has switched his song topics enough to not really be classified as one specific type of writer. My favourite record of his is Murder Ballads, which consists of, of course, songs about murders. He's mostly into a darker style of songwriting, I'll start there.

On his slower, more orchestral songs, he can be like Hell's equivalent of Tito Puente's Big Band, with dark topics, with some references to the underworld, crime, satanism, things that crawl into dark places in the night. His harder songs are like if Bruce Springsteen's band had balls. And then there are the soft songs, which sound like a Burt Bacharach character is about to kill a zombie. His baritone could scare Depeche Mode back to the gay bars of London.

Then you see him live. They're all wearing suits. Not matching suits, they're not attending a wedding, just nice suits. To show they care. To make us think they're the Mob. Or undertakers. They make nice suits look grim. They all have long hair, albeit receding and with patches of baldness, but at their age, nothing could be more normal. Except they don't really look normal, either.

The show started off softly, with Hold On to Yourself. But then the show kicked in with a harder track and off we went. Highlights were, of course, Red Right Hand, Weeping Song and Stagger Lee. A (more) complete account of the evening's proceedings can be found here. I would have taken another song from Murder Ballads, at least, maybe The Curse of Millhaven or O'Malley's Bar, and thought after the first encore that, at 16 songs in total, it was a short one. He'd usually do 20 on this tour; other bands I like (step right up, Pearl Jam) often go to 25, sometimes even 30. But the Cave-man had a second encore in store for us, a long while after the first one had ended. An actual encore, where the artists has to come back because the crowd just won't leave. A good night indeed.