Defending Batfleck, Part 2

Instead of writing a full column about Ben Affleck being chosen to be the next Batman and the internet going aflame, I half-assed included it in my Top 10s last week. I threw Christian Bale a (well-deserved) sucker punch while I was at it, because the most-overrated actor of his generation always should take hits.

Jordan Walter at FHM went all-out, though, as you can see here.

A few highlights:

On Daredevil:

But look at it from his point of view. He was paid a ton of money to dress up, fight crime and get it on with Jennifer Garner – nobody in the world would turn that down. 

Yes, it was bad but, it was probably loads of fun to do.

Don’t hate the playa.

On Gigli:

If your superhot girlfriend asks you to star in a film opposite her, you do it. No matter how shit the film is.

He didn’t make this for us. End of argument.

On Bale:

Sorry? Christian Bale was the worst thing about the recent Batman movies. He was overacting, didn’t look like he was having fun and had the most continuity defying yet consistently annoying voice ever committed to celluloid.

The great thing about those Batman movies were Christopher Nolan’s jawdropping set-pieces, Anne Hathaway and awesome people like Heath Ledger, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Tom Hardy, Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine. And the Bat Pod.
Never the Bale-meister.

 I'd substitute Gordon-Levitt for Gary Oldman, but that's just because I'm a man of taste.

Walter also goes on about how Ledger was also decried by the internets when he was picked to be the Joker. Good stuff.

Billion Dollar Baby

While I'm not partial to Paris Hilton's looks nor ''talents'', you've got to give it to her for moneying her assets into always more and more public exposure. And money, considering she's now officially a billionaire. (Yes, you read that right.)

This time, she's on the cover of FHM magazine. Here, she's pictured spray-painting... something? The whole thing makes no sense whatsoever...

But the pièce de résistance is clearly these four facts ''learned'' from her interview:

FYI 1: Recently Paris found a stray dog on a beach in Bali. It looked hungry and made her sad, so she spent £50 on a filet mignon steak for it.
FYI 2: Paris was robbed five times by Hollywood gang The Bling Ring. It wasn't until the fifth time when she lost $2 million in jewellery that she reported the robberies.
FYI 3: Paris went to the same school as Kim Kardashian, Chandler from friends and the guys who wrote the theme song from The O.C. (''Phantom Planet'')
FYI 4: Paris used to date a guy called Paris.

Poor Girl!

Even when she's laying low, doing nothing, someone has to bring her up. I'm not even above it myself (I know it brings my reader count up).

But this... she isn't even out of bed yet, and someone's snagging a picture of Megan Fox!