Video Of The Week: A-Trak

I decided to dive into a genre I don't usually listen to this week - dance music - to feature Montréal DJ extraordinaire A-Trak, now in his 30s but who started making the international club circuit and winning DJ-ing competitions when he was merely 15, becoming an honorary member of the Invisibl Skatch Picklz, a DJ supergroup in the mid-to-late 1990s.

He has produced tracks for Kanye West (also serving as his tour DJ for the better part of 4 years), Lupe Fiasco, Kimbra, Juicy J, and Dizzee Rascal.

I found this Ramon Ayala-directed video distracting - not from all the semi-nude models, but because their nipples are blurred out - like that's really going to be the deciding factor for a 14-year-old masturbating to it or not. Had it showed people getting shot by AK-47s, though, that would have been okay - provided they hadn't been shot in the nipple.

Also, as a cat person, I think tigers are cool. (That was the 14-year-old in me, sorry).

That Canadian Feeling

I rarely identify as Canadian on the international scene, except when nothing else gets understood.

I do, however, fully identify with this year's Miss Canada contestant in the Miss Universe pageant, who went all-out Canadian stereotype (minus, say, beer, maple syrup and poutine) for her amazing uniform, preferring fun (with winks to the sometimes off-the-wall absurdity of High Fashion) to sexiness or whatever else might make a judge look at her beauty instead of her character:

The internets were both aflame and all-praise for her boldness, and I stand firmly in the line of ''backers'' on this one.

The score (20-14) reflects the year she was crowned Miss Canada, but some idiots went misogynistic in their disapproval (''is that the number of guys she's just had'') while others doubted her hockey knowledge (''those are football scores / there are no touchdowns in hockey dummy''), but I have decided to not promote angry adults living in their parents' basements because they're still grounded from 20 years ago; they can keep doing what they've been doing most of their lives and fuck themselves.

Kudos to you, Chanel Beckenlehner, for having the galls to have balls and character, not just stunning looks and a degree in Political Sciences from the University of Toronto. I don't know if you've won or will win Miss Universe, but you've won my respect.

Target's Crotchless Models

There are Photoshop Fails, and then there are utter fucking failures. Target's latest ad campaign falls into the latter category:

Does this look right?

Look closely...

They chopped her lady-parts off!

I doubt they were taking a stance against the hyper-sexualization of women in media and advertizing, which means they just went way-overboard on the chopping. Oh, while over-extending to mutant-like disproportions other parts:

In the picture just above (also weirdly cropped at the crotch) and the first two from the top, her left arm goes almost to her knees.

Like, why? Ok, the fashionable ''thigh gap'' (that most people find disgusting, by the way) thing, maybe. But the arm? And was her vagina bulging so much that it made her thighs stick together?

So many questions, none of which I want answers to. But fuck Target, at least.

The Photography Of Ian Reyes

Ian Reyes is a photographer from Puerto Rico. He caught my eye recently with his pastiche of superheroes called Heroines, which is awesome. It's also, by far, his best work. Here are a few samples (t-shirt and underwear is a good concept):

A lot of his other works are over-the-top with Photoshop and other effects, and the fact that the images look more like drawings turns me off completely.

Only In (Miss) America

You lose some, you win some.

As Aaron Rodgers was eliminated from the NFL playoff picture, he was asked out by Miss America herself, Laura Kaeppeler.

Less than three months later, they were at the same NBA game, where he looked like a dweeb:

 Coincidence? I hope not... Wouldn't want this lady to be sad:

Heidi Klum And Seal Divorce

Temper, temper.

Before it becomes old news, I should tell you I was not to blame for Heidi Klum divorcing Seal. Unlike the Demi Moore and Halle Berry marriages, where I was the main reason.

Love that hair! And the dress, of course!

Billion Dollar Baby

While I'm not partial to Paris Hilton's looks nor ''talents'', you've got to give it to her for moneying her assets into always more and more public exposure. And money, considering she's now officially a billionaire. (Yes, you read that right.)

This time, she's on the cover of FHM magazine. Here, she's pictured spray-painting... something? The whole thing makes no sense whatsoever...

But the pièce de résistance is clearly these four facts ''learned'' from her interview:

FYI 1: Recently Paris found a stray dog on a beach in Bali. It looked hungry and made her sad, so she spent £50 on a filet mignon steak for it.
FYI 2: Paris was robbed five times by Hollywood gang The Bling Ring. It wasn't until the fifth time when she lost $2 million in jewellery that she reported the robberies.
FYI 3: Paris went to the same school as Kim Kardashian, Chandler from friends and the guys who wrote the theme song from The O.C. (''Phantom Planet'')
FYI 4: Paris used to date a guy called Paris.

Chicks To Blame

Remember that boat that crashed in Italy late last week?

Turns out supermodel Eva Herzigova is to blame. She was the one who christened the boat in 2006 - f.y.i: you christen a boat by throwing a champagne bottle at it, because the bigger the piece of machinery, the bigger its thirst for alcoholic beverages. That's why I throw a beer at small-to-mid-range cars and wine bottles at cars worth over $100,000.

In any event, Eva (pictured below hesitating between another glass of bubbly and a fifth orgasm provided by yours truly - she got both) isn't as strong as she looks, because the bottle didn't break, which is considered bad luck. Which apparently takes 6 years to materialize. Because the sea prefers having broken glass in it than people diving to retrieve a bottle of booze.

Poor Eva is distraught. She hopes she didn't cause the death of 6 or more people. To make her feel better here are more pictures of her bad self.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun And Fight

From one embarrassing football moment to another...

As the Lingerie Football League (oh yes, what started as a Super Bowl promo stunt has actually turned into a cash cow...) Philadelphia Passion (urgh) beat the Toronto Triumph (yes, like the Insult Comic Dog...) 74-0 playing by the rules, they also beat them outside the rules. Physically. As in: ''fight''.



Girls fighting in lingerie... and helmets. Lose the helmets, throw in a few pillows perhaps?

Every Size Fits All

Slowly but surely, ''normalty'' is making its way into the fashion world and women's magazines.

Reminds me of the Lizzie Miller story...

I Hope She Wins

American Apparel, a brand known for their (sexually charged) ads and the multiple sexually-based scandals featuring its CEO Dov Charney - from firing an employee for not being 'hot' enough, to multiple cases of sexual abuse, to allegedly holding a woman captive and forcing sex upon her - recently started a contest in the hopes to find ''the next booty-ful plus-size model'' or something along those lines, which is a slight departure from their skinny-as-a-nail look.

One applicant is Nancy Upton, who entered the contest with pictures such as these as a means to protest:

What strikes most people who see these pictures is the fact that as a size 12, she's not ''overly plus-size'' - most stores carry ''regular'' sizes up to 16 - and that she's on the 'hot' side.

While Jezebel reported the story, in the comments section of the article lies a debate about what actually makes one plus-size, something that happens just about every year and that we should get to the bottom of, eventually.

Better Know A Hottie: Karen Waldrup

She was born in Louisianna but practices her craft in Nashville, Tennessee. And she excels at writing country songs so well she was chosen as a finalist in the show Platinum Hit, where judges ranging from Kara DioGuardi to Jewel show young future stars the rudiments of songwriting.

Karen Waldrup is still merely 24 years old and could be country music's next bright, young star. Especially since she's much more pleasant to the eye than Taylor Swift and has that aura of both wisdom and fun.

Look at that spunk! I'd love to have her play on my next record! (before she gets too big...!)

Better Know A Hottie: Alizee Paradis

You're a star athlete in College, yet no one pays attention to your stats; instead, they focus on your looks and the ''outrageous'' things you do when you go out with your friends. They're surprised to find out how much alcohol your body can take, not knowing that genetics - like being born in Québec - is part of the recipe of your success.

College ends and you don't know what to do. You turn the way people look at you into a job - and you become a model.

That's exactly what Alizée Paradis did, and it's working fine for her so far.

Busted Coverage called her the sexiest NCAA female athlete of the decade, and she turned it into a photoshoot and runway model job.

Her blog posts are fun to read, too.

Word To VH1: Originality Is Allowed

(re-posted from my collectibles blog)

Just like the Yvette Nelson card I featured earlier, this superb Kiss Card is from Benchwarmer's 2007 Gold Edition set, and features Megan Hauserman, the 21st of only 24 models asked to kiss a card rather than autograph it. These cards are rare and quite valuable.


Since then, however, Megan has come a long way. She is pretty much VH1's go-to girl when it comes to Reality TV series, seeing as she's appeared in all of the following shows: Beauty And The Geek (Season 3), Rock Of Love (Season 2), I Love Money (Season 1), Rock of Love: Charm School, The Great Debate, Megan Wants A Millionaire, The Truth Commercial and, of course, Rock Of Love: Where Are They Now. So, really, it seems VH1 is really interested in finding this poor gal somebody to love. Unfortunately for them, it's been reported that she is currently engaged with one Anthony Scirpoli, of Cerca Trova Fashion, a jewelry company. I guess she found her millionaire after all.


She was rewarded for all her hard work in 2008, at the Fox Reality Awards by winning the coveted Best Awkward Moment trophy with Bret Michaels, for their moment in Rock Of Love 2.


Seriously, though, VH1 should branch out and try new people on their shows; it's becoming quite an incestuous relationship of spin-offs and sequels that never seem to end and just keep blending into one another. We know where this is going: they're trying to get Flavor Flav to hook up with Bret Michaels - not happening.

Lizzie Miller: Groundbreaker - Or Glitch In The Matrix?

So Glamour made a healthy model (Lizzie Miller) a centerpiece of its last edition by showing her nude, un-airbrushed, showing a small belly and womanly curves. Most readers gave it praise for finally showing a normal, healthy woman - with reason. She's damn beautiful - and I say that with not usually liking blondes in particular.

But are we witnessing the rebirth of the actual Hot Woman (i.e. not one that is shaped like a 9-year-old boy), or is this just one eye candy before we go back to constantly seeing cocaine-fueled double-digit-weighing anorexic boobless walking sacks of bone?

My guess: I'm sure that despite the overwhelmingly positive reaction to this, it'll soon blow over and we'll have super-skinny/unhealthy models again for a long time, if only because Society's brains have been fed it so long it forgot anything better exists.

It's sad, but the way the world has been going this past decade, the spiral just seems intent on heading downwards until... well, we'll know when we get there, and we're not going to like it. As a species. Urgh.