Who's Got The Erb?

Your name is Bob Erb, and you've been smoking weed since the 1960s. You win $25M in the lottery. What do you do?

You bankroll the British Columbia 4:20 events and aim to change legislation, of course.

Ironically, BC is known as the one place in Canada where everyone tokes all the time, so you have to wonder why he'd be inclined to spend money - which he could otherwise have spent on smoking - to legalize something that authorities are letting happen anyway.

Then again, this is Stephen Harper's Canada, where the Prime Minister is looking to increase prison time for drug offenders - the type that grow in nature, of course, the ones made in factories and being the most addictive still being a-ok.

Today's Sign Of Our Civilization's Imminent Demise

A man's funeral procession stopped at Burger King for a, uh, last meal. From the Yahoo News webpage:

David S. Kime Jr. was many things. World War II veteran. Purple Heart recipient. Father. Grandfather. Husband. And, it should be noted, Burger King enthusiast.

Linda Phiel, one of Kime's three daughters, said her dad loved fast food and ate it daily. "He always lived by his own rules," she said. "His version of eating healthy was the lettuce on the Whopper Jr."

The funeral procession ordered a whopping 40 of the Whopper Jr. burgers, including one for the dearly departed. Kime's Whopper was placed on top of his casket before burial.

The Burger King's manager, Margaret Hess, said, "It's nice to know he was a loyal customer up until the end—the very end."

Yes, ''loyal customer'', because calling him a nutjob might have hurt sales, considering he might have inspired other fucking losers to follow suit. And the sale of the ''whopping 40 Whoppers'' (really?) was just good business.

Oh, and having the BK's manager have a huge gap where her teeth should be? Priceless.

Only In America!

Sure, magazines are telling people to stay skinny, not eat, induce vomiting and not have the strength to make it through the day. On the other hand, fast food is fast becoming the only kind of fucking food available to us, so the overweight factor will remain a staple of our everyday lives for a while.

Keeping that in mind, I introduce you to the Moby Dick:

Named after the famous whale (from a book, not based on a true story), this sandwich is comprised of:

• Five quarter-pound fish filets.
• Eight slices of cheese.
• Six ounces of clam strips.
• A third-pound of french fries (nod to Primanti Bros.?*)
• A cup of cole slaw.
• "Gobs" of lettuce, tomato, pickles and tartar sauce.

A fried-fucking-fish sandwich. With eight slices of fake, processed cheese. Unclear amounts of vegetables.

And what is it the Americans are upset about? Who can claim to have put fries in a sandwich first:

Stew reader @masirovitsm point out that Panini's in the greater Cleveland area makes sandwiches with fries on them as well. He prefers the local establishment to the one from Pittsburgh. "Cleveland, represent," he says.

Shit, Europeans have been putting fries in their merguez sandwiches for decades...

The Best Radio Interview Ever?

I'll make it simple. Quoted from Yahoo! Sports:

In Monday's What We Learned, Ryan Lambert ripped apart a column by John Steigerwald, columnist for Washington (Pa.) Observer-Reporter that attempted to link Alex Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals to steroids. Among the lapses in fact: Steigerwald connected Ovechkin to a doctor that "treated Tiger Woods" that actually has no connection to Ovechkin.

Listen to it here.

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibilities Not To Invade Peoples' Privacies

 Apple. Yahoo. Microsoft. Computer services-based companies that have branched elsewhere trying to make more and more money all the time.

Then came Google who, by selling tiny ads and adspace, could provide all their content for free. And everything they invented was open-sourced, so others could come in and improve or tweak them as they saw fit.

It could have been the one, true, Ultimate Company, the good guys with a conscience.

But it seems like every day they abuse their monopoly - and our privacy. From storing our searches via our ISPs to scanning our emails to target ads, they've time and time again collected data on us for ulterior use. Now we're learning the cars they sent out for Google Street View were also collecting WiFi information while it was taking pictures of our homes - for future commercial use, yes, but also complete emails, URLs and passwords. Everything it could record in the nanoseconds it was outside homes an businesses.

C'mon, man. The reason we like you is you're more ethical than the rest. Now that you're on top, you're not supposed to become worse than they are, for fuck's sake. And don't just tell people to ''move''.