Mid-July Top-10s

Top 10 Songs:

10. REAL A LIE, Melissa Auf Der Maur (2004)
9. HOLD ON, Alabama Shakes (2012)
8. LOVESONG, The Cure (1989)
7. NO WOW, The Kills (2005)
6. HOIST THAT RAG, Tom Waits (2004)
5. SUBWAY, Yeah Yeah Yeahs (2013)
4. CAME BACK HAUNTED, Nine Inch Nails (2013)
3. FOUR BLACK SHEEP, Martha Wainwright (2012)
2. LEAVE BEHIND, Martha Wainwright (2012)
1. MAJOR DISTRIBUTION (feat. Snoop Dogg and Young Jeezy), 50 Cent (2013)


Top 10 Johnny Depp Films:

10. FROM HELL, The Hughes Brothers (2001)
9. PUBLIC ENEMIES, Michael Mann (2009)
8. THE RUM DIARY, Bruce Robinson (2011)
7. SLEEPY HOLLOW, Tim Burton (1999)
6. LOST IN LA MANCHA, Keith Fulton & Louis Pepe (2002)
5. THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS, Terry Gilliam (2009)
4. ED WOOD, Tim Burton (1994)
3. BLOW, Ted Demme (2001)
2. DEAD MAN, Jim Jarmusch (1995)
1. FEAR & LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS, Terry Gilliam (1999)

Word Of The Year: Racism

I guess the word of the year is ''Racism''. It's spit out left and right by - probably - well-meaning folks, whose good intentions are only matched by their ability to get offended by the most minute details.

Today's scandal comes courtesy of Disney's blockbuster The Lone Ranger, starring Johnny Depp as Tonto, with Armie Hammer (The Lone Ranger) almost looking like a sidekick in the previews. Seems people are mad about Depp's ''redface'', others about his Pirates Of The Caribbean over-acting schtick taking over his career, while some gather from looking at production stills that having his character be in tune with the mystical takes away any and all of the existing peoples' achievements. Although Comanche Chairman (an elected official) Wallace Coffey disagrees with the latter point:

“I think it was a very realistic portrayal of a Native American. It’s got drama and it’s got a lot of comedy; it fits right in with Comanche culture because we are well known as a humorous people,” he says. “In some instances [at screenings], it was only the Comanches that laughed, because we could relate to it.” Coffey adds that he was pleased by the spiritual elements of the Tonto character, as an accurate enough nod to the relationship between a Native American of that time period and the environment in which he lived.

But since when have White people considered Indians' opinions?

Where do I stand?

Absolutely nowhere on this side of the issue.

As a film graduate, I've admired Depp's 1990s output, preferred his dramatic roles (Blow, Public Enemies, Nick Of Time, Sleepy Hollow, From Hell, Ed Wood) to the comedic (the Pirates franchise, Edward Scissorhands), and feel he may have been at his best playing Hunter S. Thompson in Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas and The Rum Diaries. But this film looks like a complete piece of shit from start to finish, perhaps a tad higher on the quality scale than the 1999 Will Smith vehicle Wild Wild West, but probably not by much. I won't see it until I accidentally  stumble upon it, or if I'm dragged to it by someone whose company I enjoy enough to risk wasting 2 hours of my life smelling.

And I want to reserve judgement until I see it, because I'm not an idiot or an asshole.

I also want to give Depp - who claims to have ''Cherokee or Creek'' ancestry - the benefit of the doubt because he has, in the past - most notably in Dead Man - played in films in which the Aboriginals played important, smart roles.

I also want to point out that if they had used a Native American to play the part, Disney probably would never have funded it, Gore Verbinski wouldn't have directed it, and it just wouldn't be a blockbuster if it had been made at all. And it's a slippery slope. I get that ''blackface in America'' is a no-no for obvious reasons, and that similar situations will likely make many uncomfortable; Depp, in this case, never takes off the war paint he's sporting, probably because he doesn't want to have to be justifying anything else. But if we always have to pick people based on their nationality, then Americans shouldn't play Brits (as Madonna seemed to do for a decade even in her public life), Irish (see Brad Pitt in The Devil's Own), Rohms (Pitt in Snatch), Africans (Leonardo DiCaprio in Blood Diamonds), and Canadians shouldn't play Americans (Jim Carrey, Michael J. Fox, John Candy, Rick Moranis, Jay Baruschel). And it could be high time Germans stop playing Russians (I'm looking at you, Jürgen Prochnow).

While we're at it, we should be writing better parts for Black actors (more Spike Lee/Hughes Brothers, less Tyler Perry/first-to-die-in-scary-film parts), Asians (less kung-fu or nerdy types, more regular people) and Arabic (they're not all terrorists or the twist at the end where they end up not being the terrorist - they can also play normal people). As a matter of  fact, so many Arabs are refusing to take on terrorist roles that Hollywood has resorted to using actors of Mexican heritage to play those parts... is that ''brownface''?

Saturday Night Live had two instances fairly recently... one was Fred Armisen playing Barrack Obama - he's already of an ambiguous tone that he can play any race and is also great at stereotyping accents, for better or worse - and could easily pass as mulatto, so I guess they just tanned his face with some make-up; then there was Bill Hader, playing Al Pacino playing Conrad Murray on trial, even going as far as asking the sitting judge if ''it's ok'' (he nods 'yes'). I never thought I'd see the day, but there it was. Twice.

And on the other hand, you have comedians whose whole fucking routine is playing the race card - I don't mean Chris Rock talking about the Black experience, but more the likes of Russell Peters and Sugar Sammy who, because they are of Indian (you know, from India) descent, they think they're allowed to bash/make fun of/poorly imitate every race on the planet, as long as they kind of make fun of themselves as well on the way. And Sugar Sammy adds the double-whammy of living in Québec, so he can call French-speaking Quebecers racists for trying to protect their culture, because as an Indian/English minority in a French province of 7 million people, he doesn't see the need to protect it from its immediate neighbours - the 30-million-strong English Canadians and 350-million-strong Americans - and overlords, the British.

But that's a whole other debate.

So... uh... Johnny Depp as Tonto. How a bad idea from the start can only get worse...

Justice Has Been Served... Better Late Than Never

After 18 years of millions of supporters' efforts surrealistically being ignored by the American Justice System, the West Memphis Three have finally been released, acquitted of murder. Well, technically, they were forced to plead guilty to a lesser charge so they cannot sue the State of Arkansas, but they were released.

Tons of artists such as Pearl Jam (whose singer Eddie Vedder was in attendance accompanied by Johnny Depp, who has joined him in fund-raising concerts), the Dixie Chicks, X, Anthrax, and Sage Francis had publicly taken their side and asked for a new trial - and even less political acts such as My Chemical Romance, Soul Coughing and Mandy Moore went to Twitter to approve of the reversal.

Many books - including the seminal Devil's Knot by Mara Leveritt and WM3 member Damien Echols himself's Almost Home - as well as the documentary Paradise Lost by Joe Berlinger had brought the subject to light, but Vedder's and the Dixie Chicks' voices took it to the mainstream, raising funds for their new legal defense, which included DNA testing and countless hours of lawyers sifting through Arkansas paperwork.

Now comes the treacherous work, though, the flip-side, if you will: these kids had better walk straight for a long while, because hundreds of very public figures have put their asses and reputations on the line for them, and should one of them falter and lead a life of crime and get caught, the backlash/backfire could be grandiose; cries of ''they were criminals'' will erupt and might even affect the other two's lives as well.

So here begins the next biggest battle of their lives...

Dead Smokers

When trying to make a point, it's important to not contradict yourself or give opponents an 'out' in proving you wrong.

Case in point, this list of ''dead celebrity smokers'', which advocates against the circulation (via film or the media) of ''cool people'' and celebs smoking, featuring the likes of Nat 'King' Cole, Winston Churchill and Sammy Davis Jr., but also still living celebs such as Johnny Depp, Russell Crowe and Jennifer Aniston.

I mean sure, smoking is bad, and showing smokers in the media encourages not just kids but all sorts of impressionable people to light up a cancer stick. But hosting a site of ''dead'' celebrities with many of them being still alive kind of moots the point, doesn't it?

Johnny Depp Accompanies Eddie Vedder

It happened at the Voices For Justice Rally, last Saturday, September 4th, to benefit the West Memphis 3.

If you don't know who the West Memphis 3 are, you're better off searching for information online, there's a wealth of it available, but, real quickly, it's these 3 teems who were convicted of the murder of three children over a decade ago - without any kind of evidence whatsoever apart from the fact that they were the only three in their small town who dressed in black and had Metallica t-shirts.

And the kids didn't have enough money to hire good enough lawyers, so they lost. One got Life, one got Life plus 40 years, and one got sentenced to death row. Way to go, Arkansas.

In 2007, DNA evidence was uncovered pitting one of the victims' stepfather at the scene of the crime - and none of the WM3.

Tim Burton: Fall From Grace

Tim Burton hasn't made a good movie in a long time: Alice In Wonderland, Sweeney Todd, Corpse Bride... and very few people liked Charlie And The Chocolate Factory as much as I did (no, it's not really for kids), or even Planet Of The Apes, for that matter, which means Big Fish is the only good thing he's made in the past decade.

Then again, it may be his best film ever. Was it his last, final bit of inspiration? It could very well be, considering his next project looks like it's going to be a remake of his 1984 short, Frankenweenie...

Or maybe his reputation got to his hair. After all, his output from the 90s is as impressive as anything anyone else could come up with, starting with 1989's Batman, then Edward Scissorhands, Batman Returns, Ed Wood, Mars Attacks! and Sleepy Hollow.

Whatever the case, let's hope he wakes up soon, 'cause he's an original voice in Hollywood, one that should not be silenced - and one that gives Johnny Depp too much work for all of it to be crap - it'd be a waste of Depp's talent as well.