How A Past In Sports Affects My Present

Though you probably couldn't tell by my current physical shape and from the fact that I'm now a fully-respected writer and musician, I grew up an athlete - and most of my adult way of thinking is affected by that fact.

As a goalie, I trained to be 100% in the moment, and never think about the past nor the future except if it pertains to what’s in front of me (say if I’d prepared to play against someone in particular, know their tendencies), and because of that, I still have tremendous focus in what I'm doing as I'm doing it, but as soon as the task or the moment's gone, I'll likely have forgotten most of it.

Another quirk I have is wanting to know if the effort I put into something is worth it. In the case of work or performance, I want to be the best, I want to be designated to do or come up with something, and I want to be remembered for it, but it can feel like a chore to just mindlessly enter data for an extended period, for example. In social circles, say if I’m going after a girl, I want to know I’m at least a contender.

I play to win in general (be it by myself or as part of a team), and I want to be named the MVP in the end; I don't care that I'm not the favourite going in, I care that I finish ahead, am the last one standing and ultimately got the job done.

That's probably why I played three positions in football (defensive back, offensive tackle, and quarterback), two of which pitted me directly in a one-on-one battle with an opponent through speed or brute force, and the other had my brain scrambling to find a solution using 21 (or 23 in Canadian football) other humans to get my team to advance forward.

I love a challenge, but I don't want to play in vain. I always thrived under pressure (as can be attested by my vast collection of trophies and medals, hehehe) but have had to find outside motivation (scouts, girls, friends or family watching) at times when the situation felt hopeless – or boring.

My life is definitely taking a turn these days, but I have yet to read its full context and decipher its true meaning. And part of me wants to make the change even more radical than it already is, but that would mean having no grounds to stand on at all for a while, so my moral center is urging me to take it one step at a time. Also my immediate prospects, which may be looking up, though they are taking their sweet fucking time. First comes moving from a basement to a third floor, two weeks from now. In business terms, a higher floor means more success; that's how I'll approach it for the time being.

Last Week Of June Top 10s

Top 10 Songs:

10. DON'T PLAY WITH GUNS, The Black Angels (2013)
9. SACRILEGE, Yeah Yeah Yeahs (2013)
8. BROKEN PROMISE (feat. Michael Stipe), Placebo (2006)
7. THE BALLAD OF JAYNE, L.A. Guns (1989)
6. LIL WAYNE (feat. Ludacris), Eminem (2013)
5. BAD MOTHERFUCKER, Biting Elbows (2013)
4. THE CONSTANT LOVER, Magneta Lane (2004)
3. KARMACOMA, Massive Attack (1995)
2. DOOM AND GLOOM, The Rolling Stones (2012)
1. WICKED AND WEIRD, Buck 65 (2003)


Top 10 Songs I'm Listening To While Unpacking/Moving This Year:

10. SOUS UN CIEL ÉCARLATE, Banlieue Rouge (1996)
9. NO WOW, The Kills (2005)
8. A PERFECT DAY TO CHASE TORNADOS, Jim White (1997)
7. KARMACOMA, Massive Attack (1995)
6. LEVEL, The Raconteurs (2008)
5. LE VENT NOUS PORTERA, Noir Désir, (2001)
4. I DON'T WANNA GROW UP (Tom Waits cover), The Ramones (1995)
3. HOW I COULD JUST KILL A MAN (Cypress Hill cover), Rage Against The Machine (2000)
2. THE END'S NOT NEAR, The New Year (2004)
1. CHANGES, Black Sabbath (1972)

Mid-June's Top 10s

Top 10 Songs:

10. MOZART'S SISTER, Mozart's Sister (2013)
9. WHO YOU ARE, Pearl Jam (1996)
8. WILD HORSES (Rolling Stones cover), Charlotte Martin (2004)
7. BAD MOTHERFUCKER, Biting Elbows (2013)
6. DOOM AND GLOOM, The Rolling Stones (2012)
5. SACRILEGE, Yeah Yeah Yeahs (2013)
4. DON'T PLAY WITH GUNS, The Black Angels (2013)
3. THE END'S NOT NEAR (The New Year cover), Band Of Horses (2006)
2. WHOLE WIDE WORLD, Wreckless Eric (1977)
1. BEAT THE DEVIL'S TATTOO, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (2010)


Top 10 Songs I'm Listening To While Packing/Moving This Year:

10. ROAD TO NOWHERE, Ozzy Osbourne (1991)
9. WHOLE WIDE WORLD, Wreckless Eric (1977)
8. A PERFECT DAY TO CHASE TORNADOS, Jim White (1997)
7. JACKSON (Billy Edd Wheeler cover), Johnny Cash and June Carter (1967)
6. SEVEN DAYS AND SEVEN NIGHTS, The New Year (2008)
5. THE END'S NOT NEAR, The New Year (2004)
4. I DON'T WANNA GROW UP (Tom Waits cover), The Ramones (1995)
3. LANDSLIDE (Fleetwood Mac cover), The Smashing Pumpkins (1994)
2. OUR HOUSE, Madness (1982)
1. CHANGES, Black Sabbath (1972)

Moving Day Reminder

Our friends at Forget The Box would like to remind folks of the yearly disaster that is Moving Day in Québec - particularly in Montréal - and how it tends to be worse for furballs than humans, seeing as they often end up discarded, thrown out, or sent to shelters (if they're lucky).

I've seen it happen too many times. And this statistic burns my soul every time I see it:

Due to the incredible numbers of homeless animals, 25 000 animals are euthanized per year in Montréal alone.

Those things are alive.

I Hate Moving

I hate fucking moving. Everything about it. Yet I can't escape it, it's been with me all my life. By the time I was a year old, ONE, I had already moved, probably more than once. By the time I was three, I'd moved again. Five? Moved. Six was fine, but seven? Moved. Twice.

That was the beginning of a sequence where we'd move either six times in five years or five in six, I'm not sure, but always in the same neighbourhood - all within a few blocks.

And then... all through high school... just one house. The house of my dreams, as it were, with a basement, a main floor that housed a living room (with a fireplace), a dining room, a kitchen, a toilet and a large vestibule (in addition to front and back porches), and a second floor that had three rooms, a front porch and a back veranda. Old, natural wood - everywhere.

But as soon as high school was over, more moving. A year across from NDG park where, younger, I'd spent most of my days playing hockey in the winter and baseball in the summer - and hanging with my dope-dealing friends. Then a year back on Melrose - across the street from my dream house - a tease, as it were.

Then my apartment in the Plateau - the one that good flooded when the Ice Storm hit, in January of '98.

Then came, more or less, a series of more-or-less crashing at people's places and couch-surfing that led me everywhere from Île Perrot to NYC to Pointe-Aux-Trembles to the Plateau again (with many a night in Ste-Julie), before settling in in the neighbourhood I am in now, just in time for New Year's 2000...

But, of course, staying in the same 'hood doesn't mean I didn't change apartments... De Rouen, Logan, Fullum, Joliette, Ontario...5 places in a little over 9 years. And unless something drastic and dramatic happens in the relatively near future, it looks like I'll have to move again in the next 6 months or so.

And moving's such a bitch on some many levels. Packing and unpacking (for a while, I just left most of my stuff in boxes 'cause I knew I'd be out of there before long), either getting people to help out or finding movers, who always happen to cost close to the same as the first month's rent.

And now, after years of alternating living on my own, with roommates, with girlfriends - I have more furniture than my cats and I need, and a whole floor of things I care more about than furniture packed in boxes because I have no room for them on the main floor. And, ironically, that's the stuff I'm trying to get rid of, to sell - everything I have that has some value and that doesn't fit as decoration on my walls and desks. And they're in boxes already, yeah, but I'm no longer sure if all the good stuff's in its own box or if it's mixed with the more common useless stuff, and the only way to find out is to open and empty the boxes...

A few years back, I tried to clear my head and be able to get rid of most of my material possessions. I had over 3000 CDs and 4 guitars, and was so proud of them; I couldn't imagine myself leaving them behind. Now, with the advent of 1TB hard drives, who needs CDs when a backsack of hard drives can house even more music than that? But then, what do I do with the CDs themselves, with the thousands of dollars I put in them?

But I can slip a few hard drives in a bag, and carry an electric and an acoustic guitar and be on my merry way, with little attachments, should the need arise. All I need to do, if I can, is get rid of my other electric and my bass - and my keyboard. That used to bother me, but no longer.

If I could sell my superfluous stuff, maybe I'd buy a laptop and move back to NYC, or couch-surf for a few months. Or head to Gaspésie and shack up for winter. But with a protable computer, portable music, and a couple of guitars, I think I could be happy and make do with anything that would arise.

I think.

I hope.