Everybody's Talkin' 'Bout Those Tight Pants

I can't go a single day without the Tight Pants song...

It started on Jimmy Fallon's run on Late Night in 2012:


He then brought it back on The Tonight Show in 2014:


And perhaps the best one thus far, in 2016, just last week:

The Voice

Have you heard of this new TV show, The Voice?

It originated in Holland, it's a singing contest à la American Idol, except in the preliminary round, contestants are performing to judges who have their back turned to them, the point being an ugly contestant who has chops has a shot at beating a pretty one who sucks. Think Susan Boyle, backwards. Or right-wards, but without the guilt.

So it's about going at it blind.

So what do the ads do?

Show us show judge Christina Aguilera in all sorts of sexually fascinating poses, wind in her face, looking sultry and sexy and slutty. Just 'cause she'll be playing blind doesn't mean you have to, I guess.

In that respect, here's a cleavage shot:

Ain't No Thing But 30 Chicken Wings

Sure, chicken wings are tiny and have very little meat on them.

30 might be overdoing it, though. Actually, I ordered 30, I stopped eating at 20. Didn't even touch my fries or cole slaw.

On the plus side, Christina Aguilera totally killed the Star-Spangled Banner. And by killed, of course, I mean brutally butchered, then murdered, then resuscitated and hacked to death again, before finally pissing all over it with some menstruating blood dripping.

To celebrate, here's an extra picture:

She's kissing her citizenship goodbye.