Canadian Elections 2015: The Fix Is In

In years past, I would have followed the 78-day campaign on an almost daily basis, commented on it, shared my ideas, work towards change. Good change. Decent change. So many ''progressive'' website clamoring for change, working towards ousting Stephen Harper from his position as Prime Minister, and The Man obviously seeing His opportunity to take the power back... and leave the common man out in the cold again.

This is what LeadNow had to show people where the main five parties stood on key issues:

Even through this simplistic graph, you can tell the so-called Liberals are still the closest to the Conservatives on what they stand and promises they're making- and that's pre-election, when their motto is usually ''run on the left, govern on the right''.

The Liberals also usually have the press on their side, because half of their campaign money comes from the media, from Power Corporation (La Presse) to the big Ontario papers to the CBC. Their leader, Justin Trudeau, voted with Harper (despite his and his party's votes not actually counting because, as a majority, the Cons could get all their projects in anyway) a stunning 73% of the time. Which means they agree on 73% of issues at heart, and not for the least:

- C51 is a law that allows the government to spy on its people without warrants (and makes the Patriot Act look tame in comparison)
- the TPP stands to make us lose potentially all our jobs to overseas markets while sending all our (dirty) oil away, while ending regulations in many sectors of industry and farming
- they want to continue to push Canada away from peace-keeping military missions and instead send soldiers to actual war
- they give their friends cozy jobs and pensions and cut down on legislation in the sectors they tell them not to have any

Essentially, it's ''meet the new guy, same as the last guy''.

The other party thought to have a ghost of a chance at the beginning of the process was the New Democratic Party, who had formed the official opposition these past four years. Well, the NDP as a whole didn't do much at all. Ruth Ellen Brosseau took every opportunity to stand up and voice her opinion at the Chamber, despite it being for naught, and leader Thomas Mulcair tried to act as the voice of reason, every day, on TV, taking light stabs at both Harper and Trudeau. Hélène Laverdière did a nice job in the streets of downtown Montréal, but her impact in Ottawa was even more limited than Brosseau's. None of their other MPs had been ready to take on their job, and they all crashed and burned early in the campaign. They were a disaster waiting to happen, and it did.

While we're on the topic of ''same as the old guy'', I'd like to point out Mulcair's previous political record. On the provincial scene, in the late 1980s and early 1990s, he'd been the lawyer for activist group Alliance Québec, nutjobs who compared the francophone provincial government to the Nazi regime on an almost daily basis.

Later, he became the environmental minister in Jean Charest's Liberal government (yep, he's of that school as well, and Charest was a former Conservative party leader at the federal level...), and while he can be praised for stepping down from his position in protest when the government tried to sell a protected mountain to condo entrepreneurs, he also oversaw the dumping of raw sewage by the city of Longueuil into the St. Lawrence river, an issue that came reflected in this election with Montreal having to do the same for a week while it underwent emergency repairs to its infrastructures.

Among the rest, two stand out the most. The Bloc Québécois once had an impact, and formed the official opposition a lifetime ago, in the 1990s. Unfortunately, they used to be the party that was most to the left and have now become a coalition of all sorts for people hoping for Québec to secede from Canada at pretty much all costs, including the one that comes with abandoning your social-democratic roots and moving towards the right on the wrong issues.

Look at that graph again, you'll notice they're still on the right side of most issues; but the xenophobic element that is a small minority of what they need to get their message across has become too loud a voice to ignore (à la Tea Party for the Republicans in the U.S. circa 2008), not realizing they need to include people of all creeds and origins and walks of life to make their dream of starting anew on a land where all are equal a reality. So, honestly, at this point, fuck them.

The Green Party may seem like the party who has Canadians' interests most at heart, but they'll be lucky to get five people elected. Why? Because although their leader, Elizabeth May, is absolutely delightful with her Maritime charm and honest-to-goodness good values that would make her the best grandma in the world, they don't have a platform, just pipe dreams.

GREEN! TREES! NO FOSSIL FUELS! PEACE AND HARMONY! - it's all fine and dandy, but no plans on foreign policy. No plans on defense - not even abolishing it. No plans on getting the economy back on its feet after Harper took a tar sands-sized shit all over it and deregulated the banks.

Which leaves us with a grand total of zero good candidates.

The lesser evil would still be Mulcair, because he's such a careerist that he'd have to listen to the will of the people when they protested his bullshit.

But no. The fix is in. The media have been on it since the very first week, shoving our ''choice'' down our throat: it's Baby Justin, or Evil Harper. Even though they're the exact same fucking right-wing sell-out puppet 73% of the time (that's not entirely true: Harper actually believes he's doing the right thing; Trudeau gets to that conclusion by thinking it's the ''lesser evil'').

They told us on TV, they told us on their front pages. They bought ads online and on billboards.

They gave us a face we didn't mind looking at, they gave us a name that still rings in English-speaking Canada. They even gave us Brian Mulroney's - a former Conservative Prime Minister - fucking endorsement.

And Canadians ate it up, all that chocolate-flavoured soft-serve bullshit dripping on their fucking chins.

And now I know why I've never felt entirely at home in that stupid, insane fucking country. Why I supported independence when it made sense. Why I moved to NYC. Why I always feel so damn alone.

The fix is in. It'll be a landslide. And it'll fuck us good.

The Canadian Environment

There's yet a another petition making the rounds in Canada, asking Prime Minister Stephen Harper to not go overboard in allowing the complete destruction of our environment. It's a weekly occurrence, it seems.

He does not see the small picture, let alone the big one.

Whether (or not) federal elected officials prefer to support big businesses instead of the people who elected them and whom they represent is irrelevant.

The bottom line remains: if they allow anyone or anything to compromise our environment, we are all screwed. And not just Canadians. Pollution and devastation knows no borders, no boundaries.

Even the businesses who pillage nature to sell it back to us need it to not be a finite resource. That's in addition to biodiversity proving everyone its actual food sources. Basing decisions we know are wrong on some half-assed biased research is worse than just a skewed lack of vision, it's step-by-step suicide.

I mean, shit, right, the companies have proven for a long time that their profit-driven ways go in just one direction with blinders on, and always need us to protect them from themselves - not help them fuck the rest of us up more.

This is a fast way to get to a post-apocalyptic world, when ''I told you so'' won't mean anything anymore.

Darren Aronofsky and Leonardo DiCaprio took a trip to the Albertan tar sands earlier this year and came back with a troubling report. Once pioneers in progress and progressive views, and formerly the voice of reason on the international scene, Canada has become the laughingstock of the international community, particularly on environmental and scientific issues.

Ironic that the country who wouldn't let the U.S. back out of the Kyoto protocol now won't even come close to meeting its own objectives on the matter.

One More Reason To Be Ashamed Of Canada

Supreme Leader Stephen Harper has done it again - this time, withdrawing Canada from the UN Convention to Combat Desertification (examining solutions to the increasing droughts that have been spreading across the world and destroying valuable farmland) at the last minute, joining the ranks of... absolutely no one.

He shut down scientists just a few weeks ago, he's pushing the Alberta tar sands harder than Nino Brown did crack, he forgoes meeting Aboriginals who had walked 1600 kilometers to Ottawa (opting instead for a photo-op with a panda who will cost $10M yearly in rental costs to China...), has reformed unemployment benefits programs to make it a hassle and a pain enough to discourage folks from even applying for it... and that's just since the snow has started to melt. He's been in power for 7 years, and he's been that active for 6 of them.

The fact that he understands politics better than anyone before him - and plays it nastily with a mean edge, not just to further his ideology but also just because he loves kicking the shit out of those who oppose him - will ensure he remains in power for as long as he wants to. Not just that, but since he's muzzling his own ministers and deputies, he is fully aware he doesn't currently have anyone lined up to take his place as the face of the party when he does decide to retire, so he may hold on even after he's had his fun, just so that the country doesn't flow back to the center or - gasp! - the left.

We used to be the Voice Of Reason, internationally; the country that kept the peace in war-torn countries (until and/or after the U.S. went in-and-out, guns a-blazing), who would have everyone else listen when we spoke at the U.N., be it about poverty, economics, science, the environment, solving conflicts and bringing forth solutions to world problems that respected each country's customs, traditions and values.

Canada was fucking Gandalf, now it's barely Gollum, holding onto its precious fucking dirty oil.

In 2001, when it was time to go to war, Americans were saying that Afghans were ''retarded'', living in caves like it was 1647, uneducated barbarians; Canadians love saying how ''ass-backwards'' the U.S. is for neglecting education and health for economics, how the fight for equal rights (first women, then people of all races, now marriage equality, soon so-called illegal immigrants) seems like a constant through their history - well, folks, Harper is George W. Bush, twice as worse: instead of being a dumb redneck following God blindly, it's the smartest guy in the room and he's got no compassion for anyone. He wants to make us uneducated cavemen stripped of any rights, but only so his friends can use us as slave labour and get richer.

That beacon of hope, morality, soul and innovation once known as Canada not only died around the time I turned 5, its corpse has been raped, napalmed, pissed on, shat on, left to re-ferment, and fed back to us all, so that we can, in turn, die, get raped, napalmed, pissed on, shat on, left to re-ferment, and fed back to our kids, so they too can die, get raped, napalmed, pissed on, shat on, left to re-ferment, and fed back to people in foreign lands who will then die, get raped, napalmed, pissed on, shat on, left to re-ferment, and fed back to the robots who will take their place on the factory lines.

In a desert land because desertification will have taken away all the farmland. Because who needs real food, anyway?

Why Registering With One Party Makes No Sense To Me

In the United States, elections are pretty much a two-party system in which electors usually side with either Party, for better or worse, for most of their lives. As such, they are offered to register which party affiliation they favour, and lists are made available to those who may need it. In some cases, an opponent will use unfair tactics to suppress his opponents' voters, such as this instance where Arizona Republican candidate Jeff Flake (yep, he was that flaky, can't make that shit up) used robocalls to send Democrat voters in the wrong voting place.

In Canada - and particularly in Québec - we have a multiple-party system, which enables most citizens to actually vote for the candidate they feel will best represent them; the party with the most winners is in power, and usually the balance of power is held by more than one opposition party, resulting in the country not veering too far from the center, and where compromise and negotiations usually prevail over dictatorial tactics.

Except, of course, with Stephen Harper, who merged first two, then three parties to form a bigger one who would stand a chance to grab power if they took electoral positions away from the main cities (Montréal, Toronto and Vancouver) and added more in rural regions in the West. Which they did. And it worked. And now he's muting all opposition parties and even his own Parliament to become, all told, a King.

But Kings die and/or get their heads chopped off, so while he's redefining Canada as a war-waging country in the service of England, lowering our tolerance level for gays and women, and reducing the percentage of French-speaking neighbourhoods through targeted immigration in effect hiding what could become ethnic cleansing, his time will be limited by Nature, and his wrongs will be reverted. Over decades, sure, as Americans are learning (there is no way a Barack Obama can repair the damage a George W. Bush has inflicted in the same amount of time; it takes a second to destroy a house by launching a missile in it, hours to do it by fire, yet weeks or months to rebuild a new one).

Anyhow, the point is this: your opinions may change over time, or maybe they won't. But those of your elected officials can, too: just look at how many times John Kerry changed his mind, John McCain too, and that's saying nothing of Mitt Romney doing so in the same fucking day, let alone throughout the years.

Registering with a Party paints you in a corner, and opens you up to the malfeasance of bad people, which there seems to be a shitload more of every day. Not only are you better off keeping some cards up your sleeve and keeping your hand secret (I've started playing poker again, yes), but it's also best to keep an open mind and see if there isn't a better option out there.

Death Of A Democracy?

By now, chances are you've heard about last Summer/Fall's Occupy movement, and probably this Spring's two-month-strong student protests/strikes. If not, look it up, it's a fine read, students refusing a hike in education costs, defying (provincial) Prime Minister Jean Charest daily, kind of helping us forget how corrupt his government has been - but kind of not, at the same time.

Well, the Québec governing party, the Québec Liberal Party (which, technically, on a left-to-right, liberal-to-conservative scale ironically falls strongly on the Conservative side - picture Mitt Romney leading a Workers' Party) was holding its general council in Victoriaville, far from the rumbling streets of Montréal, comfortably, in the countryside, in a town usually so peaceful they don't even have a jail there...

Well, tons of anti-Charest protesters made the trip, including - but not limited to - busloads of students. Well, as may have been expected, shit did, indeed, hit the fan, and a riot ensued. My crystal ball is hazy from the all the smoke and pepper gas used in the picture gracing this post alone, but I can't wait to see how the media will spin this and how it'll affect public opinion. It can go either way: they may convince people that students are to blame for this and have to be forced back into class right away - or they could realize just how many folks are dissatisfied with this sham of a government.

The cops are close to being in over their heads, stopping and arresting at least 3 buses full of university students on their way back to Montréal - on the highway! - most of whom will likely be accused of ''participating in an illegal demonstration'', which they will eventually be found innocent of, but will spend the night in Victo and will have to go back to stand trial; minor yet irritating inconveniences, worse for foreign students and those depending on financial aid. But they will have to go back for sure, because a non-appearance in court is equivalent to pleading guilty in the eyes of the law.

Amnesty International has already condemned our police force of mishandling the situation - how worse will they look on the international scene? How will this affect tourism in our city this summer? Will we warn tourists to stay in their hotel rooms after 8PM?

One kid lost an eye early in the conflict from a noise grenade to the face, another one did so tonight from rubber bullets, another girl got shot in the face with rubber bullets and had her jaw broken and lost teeth, one kid is in the coma. Half a dozen cops and a dozen protesters are hospitalized, many more were injured but returned home or treated on-site (one paramedic says he treated at least 20 on-site).

This government has lost its legitimacy a long time ago, this is just added, useless bonuses. The student thing? Over a few million bucks, less than the Liberals have handed out to their mafia friends and fundraisers since the beginning of the year. How much more violence do we need before we kick those fuckers out of office? Do we need a cop or a kid to die? Chicago 68? Los Angeles 92?

History will not be kind to you, motherfucker, if you let this fester any longer.

Get Up, Stand Up

I wrote about protesting and demonstrating a short while back, and the loss of a Québec/Canadian spirit has been a pet peeve of mine for the past few Stephen Harper governments, at least. For some reason, despite what the surveys say - and one day, soon, I promise, I'll finish that text about my true feelings about market research in general - I was happy to see some blue flags at today's pro-student demonstration:

If all it takes is seeing one despot destroy 145 of history - well, he's destroying the last 50 and over-hyping the first 25 with his anti-French and pro-monarchy fixation, but you get the point - to open up the eyes of my fellow citizens of what was once known as New France, then it can't be all bad.

Then again, he's had a ton of help ''bring the free market into our daily lives'' from his provincial brother-in-arms Jean Charest, another non-majority leader who lives off dividing the opposition rather than servicing the population.

You may have heard Charest has planned to increase/unfreeze tuition fees, a means for getting more cash that has NEVER solved a budget crisis and always made higher education a means for the elite to remain amongst themselves. But honestly, that's barely the tip of the iceberg. As a people, we've evolved and are far removed from our French ancestors who used to chop off their leaders' heads when dissatisfied, but we're ready for our Maple Spring (works better in French, see below):

But we were 200,000 strong today, marching down the streets of downtown Montréal, telling all levels of government we weren't going to take their shit anymore. And we did it unmasked, so they can't say we're anarchist rioters, niche groups or anything but a Mass Movement. And like the Arab Spring last year, we'll be even more, even bigger if they keep wanting to shut us up. Because they can't.

They must be reminded that they're our mouthpieces, and if they won't do as we say, they can be replaced. We can't. Jail or kill us, and that's tax money coming out of the system, out of their rich friends' pockets, out of free enterprise. Out of their paychecks.

All they have is the police, who are starting to realize that the bigger our numbers, the likelier they are to injure their friends, neighbours, family members, their kids - by turning violent on the crowds.

We flood one street at a time with people, and then another, and another... until we have marched on all the streets, demanding equality, our share. Our society.

It's The Matrix, and we're rebooting it.

The Best Of Canada In 1 Photo-Op

The only words that come to mind are words describing how baffled I am that such an event even took place. You read about stuff like this, about the merging of two black holes, how it's supposed to mean ''the end of times'', and I do realize we're in 2012 and whatnot, but shit, man.

I think this picture caused the Acapulco earthquake.

The leader of watered-down rock meeting with the leader of watered-down George W. Bush politics; grunge lite meeting what made people cynical of politicians; a money-making puppet and a puppet for money-makers; Alberta's ''dirtiest'' and ''cleanest'' white men together, smiling of that true happiness only someone who has fucked over millions of people can ever know.

Oh, No, Canada! (Part Deux!)

So two weeks have passed since Bill C-11 was the hot debate and, well... Stephen Harper's Conservatives want to control the internet even more: by threatening to cut off anyone for no good reason, and by restricting access to some websites - even those one might be the owner of.

More and more, it looks like the Ideal World for those fuckers would be one in which companies are completely deregulated and people - humans - are enslaved to both companies and the government, with laws restricting everything from the food we eat, the way we think, the shit we're allowed to do in our own homes, the stuff we read, the entertainment we watch.

6 fucking months into power and they have turned this once-proud, once-a-world-example-of-freedom into the worst police state George Orwell couldn't even have thought about imagining.

Sign it, please.

Oh, No, Canada!

Stephen Harper's Conservatives, in a mere 6 months since actually taking power, has already changed the face of Canadian politics - and it's only getting worse: Bill C-11 formerly Bill-32 - makes the American SOPA bill look tame in comparison.

Dear They compiled this short list of just some of its provisions:

Like your PVR? You can’t keep it under C-11.

Like ripping CDs to your iPod? Say bye-bye.

Hey, do you want to be able to unlock your $500 smartphone and take it to a provider less dedicated to violating your wallet? That won’t be allowed either.

Did you get accused of internet piracy but no evidence has been presented and a trial date hasn’t even been set? Under C-11 your ISP will now be forced to terminate your internet access.

Yeah. And lazy Canadian bastards, too busy watching the NHL All Star Game, or too cold to go outside and demonstrate or riot will politely just bend over and turn the other cheek. We will let this asshole completely change our way of life in just a couple of years, turning our ''socialist Hell'' into a police state governed by lawless companies while humans have no rights whatsoever... ah the beauty of ''the free market''!

There are less than two weeks left to make our voices heard. Click here and save yourselves:
http://www.ccer.ca/canadian-copyright-reform/canadian-copyright-reform-back-with-vengeance/

How This Isn't Racism - A Short History Lesson

Jesus fucking Christ. Another case of mistaken-history/meaning gone awry.

Sure, historically, the American minstrel shows have pretty much tarnished 'blackface' forever by depicting African-Americans as lazy, stupid, ignorant and party-heavy, from the 1830s until the 1910s in public performances, pehaps until the 1950s in some informal, unprofessional gatherings (high schools, local Southern theaters).

But, first and foremost, actual minstrels were bards who just sang songs in medieval Europe. From the fifth century (year 400) on. Halfway between Shakespeare and buskers.

More importantly, though, Canada has never dealt with the U.S.-type of racism, segregation and, by the board, U.S.-type minstrel shows. Québec even less.

For roughly 300 years, French and English people invaded North America and had disputes over territories. Both white peoples. In 1763, France decided to let their North American colonies rot and fend for themselves, perhaps even die and by 1867 Canada was born, consisting of four provinces, including the pretty much exclusively French (and Aboriginals) Québec.

From the very beginning but even more so from 1867 onwards, Québec politics have involved the discussion of whether it should secede from Canada, largely for language and culture issues, but perhaps more importantly from being a dominion of the United Kingdom - an independence the United States declared in 1776 (which the U.K. accepted in 1883). To this day, Canada still isn't sovereign, as can be attested by Prime Minister Stephen Harper's recent decision to render the military back to its ''Royal'' affiliations and denominations.

For more than a century, Québec politicians - with decades-long help from the Catholic Church - have been more involved with trying to keep their culture alive than anything else, so any issue with ''foreigners'' has never been about a colour conflict but more about a language one; black people in Québec were never seen as a threat if they could speak French: they were allies. It is for that reason that Québec immigration, for years, targeted Haitians, Russians, Arabs, Western Europeans: they spoke a variant of French as a first or second language and could be integrated into the society almost immediately, making more of ''us'' against less of ''them''.

Over time, even anglophone Quebecers' views on progressive subjects such as Human Rights (here perceived more as Womens' and Gays' rights than separated by skin colour), war, social security and welfare, have come to closely resemble that of their francophone brethren/neighbours.

So when Anthony Morgan-types - 25-year olds who are more aware of U.S. culture than their place of residence's - take their Blackberries out to take a tribute to a great champion (in this case Usain Bolt, but it also happened last year for new hockey hero P.K. Subban, arguably the most-liked player on the Montréal Canadiens) and twist it to make it look like a whole school is guilty of mass racism, I can't help but elevate my voice in anger. And sadness.

Because where do you draw the line? Sporting the Jamaican sprint team's colours is ok, a wig would be alright, but no face paint? But you can paint your face in an Indian head and go see the Atlanta Braves (or Cleveland Indians, or Chicago Blackhawks, or Washington Redskins for that matter) because those are the team's colours? It's still face paint, usually involves the 'redding' of the skin, harks back to the quasi-extinction of an entire race of people by colonialists? Why is one considered ''cheering for'' but the other one is ''making fun of'', in this fucking day and age, more than 100 years after the fact, A FACT THAT DOESN'T EVEN GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE TRADITION OF SHOWS IT ''REPRESENTS'' in the collective minds of a few?

They were disguised as Bolt; when you wear a Jason or a Freddy mask for Halloween, you don't disrespect the character, people likely wouldn't recognize it if you didn't. Same goes for this JOYOUS fucking occasion of tribute and fun.

Anthony Morgan: learn your fucking history. Jesus was black, so was Cleopatra. And never were any races collectively abused in this province be it by the system, the laws, or major entertainment networks.

And Brandon Sun: you call yourself a newspaper? Shame on you for printing the story in a way that makes a whole school - the most respected of its kind in Canada - and, by affiliation, the 7 million people of the province of which these are the future elite, look like a KKK rally of retards. Then you wonder why we want out of your country. That belongs to another country's queen.

Plug: My Saturday Show's In The Paper

Once again, we made the Montreal Mirror!

This time, the Mile-End Mission benefit shows organized by my friends at Four Minutes To Midnight (also called the Sake Of The Songs benefit series) got a full article in the Mirror, in which I was even mentioned as a regular in the series (a ''usual suspect'' if you will), alongside many others who were in our Velvet Underground cover project last year.

There's a different theme each time around, and this time it's a tribute to the Red Wedge movement and tour because organizer John Stuart feels there are too many similarities between Stephen Harper and Margaret Thatcher - and wanted to make a political statement about the Conservatives winning a majority during the last elections despite 60% of voters voting against them, meaning they got roughly 20% of the votes from the eligible electorate.

Shit Harper Did

Election season brings the best out of imaginative, informed people.

At Shit Harper Did (also available through http://www.shitharperdid.com/), the webmasters brought reasearch-backed facts about how shitty Stephen Harper has been towards Canadians in general - and women and minorities in particular - and made it clickably fun to sort through.

The fact that, uh, the facts come randomly keeps it fresh, but the further you get, the more you wish there was an option to have have to see the same ones popping over again. Although the repetition helps kick some of the astoundingly evil things he's done etched in your brain forever, which isn't all bad.

The Pope Calls For A New World Order

For years now, most governments have ignored what The Pope has been saying because it usually deals with issues in a regressive manner (AIDS, condoms). This time, however, Pope Benedict may have hit the nail on the head for certain conservative members of the G8 (Italy, Canada, the U.S., France).

While many conspiracy theorists have been warning of impending doom and gloom via a New World Order - a World Government of sorts - and guessing it would come from the U.S. side, it seems the Catholic leader has taken the lead on making this happen, blaming the current economic crisis in the process, and saying the economy should be regulated by a ''world political authority'' with the noble goal of helping the less fortunate and redistribute wealth more equally.

Yeah, right.

It was obvious this idea would start making the rounds in the media brought on by the political/religious right, and it was obvious they'd try to mask it as a leftist 'helping others' scam that will end up being a lie of sorts, either benefiting rich Americans or rich Europeans.

The 'amero' idea already started making the rounds, a 'unique dollar for all of North America' modeled on the euro, as has the Bush-supported idea of a 'super highway' linking Canada, the U.S. and Mexico - all viewed as the first steps in tools of integration to lead to a unique world currency and economy and, eventually, One World Government.

But how would a World Government not be a totalitarian regime? Americans, in all their democratic splendor, had George W. Bush in charge for 8 years. Worse still, Canadians have now twice elected as a minority leader Stephen Harper who acts like he was elected with a 90% majority eventhough he's riding the coattails of less than a quarter of the population's votes.

If we can't trust those who are in charge when they're in charge of mere countries, why should we trust them to be in charge of all the world's money and resources?

We're at an age when heads should roll, not take control.

The Day Democracy Died

I'm usually pretty fucking quick to respond to political events - especially the really big ones. I've been asked by many how I felt about the current situation in Canada, what with the prorogation and not having an actual government in place for the next month to month-and-a-half.

It's funny because both sides of the argument, at one point or another, have used the same arguments and same metaphors to describe opposing points, usually something about the ''rape of our democracy''.

It started with angry Albertans who blindly believe what ''their'' leader has to say, even when it's dumb, even more so when it's a blatant lie. By using Karl Rove's tactics that did so well for the Republican Party in the U.S. for a decade or so (but ironically got whooped just a month ago...), Stephen Harper has managed to divide the country... by blaming all of Canada's problems on 'separatists'. And since Quebecers have been the target of most campaigns of fear in this country since the '70s - the Albertans bit on the hook again, only this time, they're alone, because it really hasn't been an issue since 1998.

What was an issue, though, was addressing the current worldwide economic crisis. Stephen Harper, who was elected as a minority Prime Minister with barely 25% of the voting public's votes, thought doing nothing was best. Not just that, but to prove he was serious about silencing the opposition right off the bat, he came in with aggressive confidence motions in the first session of Parliament that go against most Canadian values, including but not limited to women's rights to equal pay.

The opposition, who represent not only more members than the ruling party but a vast majority of voters as well, decided to not let themselves be backed into a corner and reacted accordingly with Canadian law - by banding together to represent the vast majority of voters and change the course of where the country was headed. Because in Canada, contrary then in the U.S., we can stop mistakes like most of George W. Bush's decisions from happening, when they are contrary to what the majority of elected officials want. And all elected officials have to represent the district they came from, the voters who elect them - and their values.

What is difficult to understand is why the Governor General, the Queen of England's representative in Canada, went against the wishes of most Canadians' (and, therefore, a majority of elected officials') wishes and decided to give Harper time to either settle down and be more reasonable and convince others to join a more reasonable plan - or to call another election, 2 months after a useless one, two years after the last one. And have no government to deal with the economic crisis in the meantime.

Just last Friday, 1000 people in Grand Falls-Windsor lost their jobs, and there is no government in session to either help them or comfort them, and there will be none until some time in January. Who knows how many more will be let off in the meantime.

What's scary is this: So far, by using the same tactics that failed the Republicans just a month ago and diverting blame on his opponents, Harper has been able to not only keep his supporters, but also make them more angry and militant, ready for groundwork to their Cause, which in itself is wrong, but that's beside the point.

My guess is he'll be able to convince them that if the economy fails because we've had no government, it'll be the coalition's fault for not letting him rule as the (not really, but hey, it works) ''elected'' leader.

And if the economy doesn't really fail, he'll be able to convince more idiots that his no-plan wasn't all bad since no government didn't even kill the cash flow.

He's in the driver's seat, not realizing he's drunk, and refusing to let the designated driver drive. And he knows that, statistically, he has less of a chance to die than the car he'll be hitting in the one-on-one collision. Problem is, most Canadians will be pedestrians by the side of the road by the time this is all finished, and many of us will be collateral damage.

Too bad Stéphane Dion is hated by so many people, me included, the whole ''coalition saving the country'' thing will die just because he would have been the one in charge of it.

After capitalism showed us its limits in the past couple of months, this is democracy at its finest, I guess.

Dogs Of War: The Upcoming Canadian Elections

A friend of mine weighed in on the upcoming Canadian elections. His thoughts make sense, eventhough I only half-agree with most of what he says. If you're curious, understand French, and are a member of Facebook (really, who isn't?), feel free to have a look, here.

Me, it just made me want to compare each major party with a breed of dog...

Let me start with the admission that I know precious little about dogs. I love them, well, some of them, anyway. I can differentiate a few breeds, but nowhere does it approach what I know on other topics, like sports, music or film. Or ladies. It’s out of the bag, so to speak, but it changes nothing, and matters not.

You might have heard elections are coming. And I don’t mean the Obama-McCain fiasco-in-the-making, I mean the good-ole tired Canadian Politiks, the four-party system that’s so good at keeping itself in check that it forgot to go forward since 1995.

This time around, the so-called Top Dogs are the Conservatives. Oh, yes: they united the Right and all they got was a minority government. But a minority government that did a lot in repressing women’s rights, stopped contributing to the arts, made Canada look like the U.S.’ lap dog in ways unseen since… ever. Oh, there were times in the 80s, but not to this extent, and especially not with a U.S. government so despised worldwide.

However, in doing so, the Conservatives showed us who they really were. You see, they’d been barking in the shadows of power for years now, first as a distant voice you could barely hear, then growling louder and louder until, united, they became the Official Opposition, where they could bark every day in the press and get their points across against a government that was begging to be euthanized.

All these years, we thought Conservatives were big, mean, rabid Bulldogs. Turns out they were even more dangerous – they were a castrated Chihuahua intent on exacting revenge on the whole world for belittling their manhood. Think ‘Revenge Of the Nerds’, but instead of nerds, take the fuckwads from Columbine High School – bullied momma’s boys whose dads had big guns in the shed and got tired of being pushed around.

So they barked louder than their little bodies could handle, and they cut funding to just about everything they disagree with, passed anti-corruption laws that even they don’t respect and instilled fixed date elections, which the also won’t respect. Oh, and they got us damn near a recession just last quarter.

What’s their opposition, though? Since the inception of Canada, the Liberal Party has been in charge more often than not. So much so that the word ‘liberal’ ceased to apply to them per se, as they were more intent on ‘conserving’ their seats in Parliament at times than changing the world, Lester B. Pearson-style. They needed money and strong friends for that – and we have the Sponsorship scandal to prove that it worked.

A complete makeover was needed, and it’s the only way a thinker like Stéphane Dion could end up in charge. He’s clearly not the strong-arm type that Chrétien or even Martin were, but the party had to show it wasn’t just going to be more of the same. He’s the guy who comes up with a few ideas of his own, and also the one who can reinterpret even smarter people’s ideas (read the NDP, Bloc and Greens) and make them more digestible for the masses. He’s turned the Liberals into German Shepherds – police dogs that work on the side of the law, of the just. Or so he thinks.

Which brings us to the Bloc Québécois. Created on the eve of the last referendum, most Canadians are unaware of what it represents, apart of course from its ultimate goal – the secession and independence of Québec. People have trouble seeing what good it can do in Ottawa other than cashing in some of the Queen’s money while stalling politics, mainly because it’s the discourse the former Liberals used in rejecting their propositions publicly – then taking full credit when passing them as progressive laws themselves in the mid-90s. Stephen Harper also usually dismisses them as a useless party because ‘it will never govern Canada and thus is irrelevant’, and that Blocers can complain all they want about the country and the system, they can never be in charge, so they are screams in the dark. In that manner, the Bloc is basically a Labrador, a seeing-eye dog, smarter than most other breeds, but always forced to maneuver in the dark, leading the blind.

If only people knew that had Gilles Duceppe been a Liberal (and, thus, in charge at some point in his career), his ideas would have made him the most loved and respected Premier in at least 50 years. It would have advanced Canada in worldwide opinion to the level of opinion leader, rather than follower of the wrong. He always defended First Nations, pushed for greener measures, equal pay – and rights – for women, better distribution of Employment Insurance benefits to the workers who had paid for them in the first place… you know, the type of moral issues that makes the United Nations listen to you when you oppose the illegal invasion of a particular country - and elicit action. There’s a reason Quebecers vote for them massively and elect between 35 to 50 people at any time or during any political climate – their record for supporting minorities and equality speaks for itself. Not as morally corrupt as the two bigger parties, the Bloc were actually the ones who broke the Sponsorship scandal.

Which makes the NDP the Golden Retriever. Just like the Labrador, without the threat of secession. But the same leadership qualities, the same brains, the same dedication for working for others and the greater good. The same stance on staying clean, following the right path; you won’t find many closeted homosexuals, pedophiles, thieves, election-riggers and bribed members here (usually the Moral Leaders of the Right end up in those, ironically). And like the Bloc, the same sense of working in the dark, from the sidelines of power, having their best ideas stolen by the Liberals because their visibility in the media is lacking.

There’s now a fifth member who wants its voice heard, the Green Party. It’s just too bad they’re a one-trick pony at this point, especially since the Liberals are now viewed as environmental-friendly, and the Bloc and NDP have been waiving the green flag for over 10 years now. Little poodle wants in on the fun, but can only do the one flip it was taught in the circus. Anyhow, no one votes for the Greens, not really; they send messages to their favourite party, but in a tight race, they get less than 1% of a riding’s votes.

Now, they say surveys are showing the Conservatives in a slight lead, or tied with Liberals. But we all know how it works in Canada: the percentages don’t mean anything, because every single election, one party ends up with a third of the votes but just a handful of elected officials, losing most districts by a slight margin and winning by huge ones, so many votes are lost and really just don’t count.

It’s time the Conservatives taste that medicine, especially in Ontario and Québec. We’re ready for another minority Liberal government, with an almost equal opposition for the Conservatives, Bloc and NDP – leaning enough to the left to restore our place among progressive leaders in the world, but with enough of an emphasis on family and security to feel safer in our homes – or at least in Albertan homes.

If the Conservatives get a majority government, after seeing what they were able to pull off with a, let’s say, cerebral – rather than aggressive – opposition… we’re fucked. Think: no arts, women in cages (or prison, for abortions, same thing, really), over-bearing religion, active participation in world conflicts, tax breaks for the filthy rich, guns in the hands of those who intend on using them… and the Olympics right around the corner. Feels like 1936 all over again, doesn’t it?