Bread Face

Via The New York Times (via BuzzFeed, Vice and Instagram...) comes Bread Face, a woman who, well, uh, likes to smash her face into bread.

Is it art? Is it comedy? Is it just a weird fucking fetish? Is it just that it feels good?

If you can, look up the one where she does it over a super-salty pretzel from Brookly hipster spot Black Forest, over Jennifer Paige's 1998 pop hit Crush... as much as I love pretzels, I'm just worried she'll get salt in her eye(s).

That Downward Spiral Called Rob Ford

''Elect me as mayor, and I will clean this city up like you wouldn't believe.'' That was the attitude Rob Ford put forth just a couple of years ago, running to take over Canada's biggest economic center.

Like a true used car salesman, his first order of business was to eliminate bike lanes, and his second was to get as drunk as possible in as many public events as possible, a political Chris Farley if you will, without the visible and audible threat of ending up living in that van down by the river, yet you could tell just by looking at him that that was exactly where he was headed, probably in the near future.

Then came rumours about drug use - and not just marijuana, no: straight-up crack. And there could even be video footage... a video people have already died for.

After denying it - and the existence of the tape - for the better part of 2013, Ford has now admitted to having smoked crack, but he did so with his usual sense of grandeur:

"Yes I have smoked crack cocaine. But I am not an addict," he said in a stunning admission. "Have I tried it? Probably in one of my drunken stupors," he said, adding that he may have smoked it approximately one year ago.

Oh yeah - one of his drunken stupors. Makes sense. What else did he do in his (frequent) drunken stupors, kill a hooker? Waste taxpayers' money? Eat tons of donuts?

As if hearing that the police had found the video - and another one, rumoured to be a sex tape with an alleged minor - recovered from a erased hard drive (that's right, kids, hitting 'delete' is not a guarantee) wasn't enough, the mayor's boat is leaking from everywhere, and reports are coming out that he and his team hired a crack team (sorry) of hackers to erase the recording from online storage spaces.

Didn't work.

Now, I know it's never over until the fat lady sings, but I'm guessing that's merely one or two drunken stupors away from happening...

Beating Glenn Danzig Into A Book Deal

You may have seen the video a few years back. It took place backstage at a festival show, and Glenn Danzig was being a bit of a prima donna, and got into an altercation with the North Side Kings' Danny Marianino, who knocked him out cold:



Danzig fans went nuts and for years took to the internets and called Marianino (and his band) names - usually a variation of or an expression containing the word 'fags' - and he has written a tell-all book about the whole situation.

Vice.com scored an interview. I think it's probably a better read than a whole book; I fail to see how 200 pages can tell the tale better than one article, though, unless it's just a way to get back at every Danzig fan who ever wrote him an angry email individually, which is an endeavor I endorse (but won't read).

Worst Wax Museum Ever (And That's Saying A Lot!)

I already had a negative opinion of wax museums in general, but seeing the pictures accompanying this scathing review of the Hollywood Wax Museum may have sealed the deal for me to never go to one again...

These only barely resemble the actors they're supposed to be, and they're not even the worst (Tom Hanks wins that one, but I'll let you see for yourself). Actually, they look like melted wax sculptures of bad celebrity look-alikes, 5 seconds after they've posed looking similar to the celeb, not quite there anymore...

King Khan Shows Lindsay Lohan His Bum

After a post about girls who wear (skimpy) clothes, here's another one about Montrealers who like to, uh, dress down: (musician) King Khan, pulling his pants down and putting his ass in Lindsay Lohan's face, at Cannes. Yes, King Khan is at Cannes; seems fitting, somehow, even if only phonetically.

The story was originally posted on the French blog Jalouse, but Vice (a former Montreal arts-and-community paper turned NYC/London hipster bible) worked hard and gathered all the evidence under the same roof - which was probably on fire, yet I doubt they let the ''motherfucker'' proverbially ''burn'', which could be a shame, I'm not sure yet.

Here are a couple of highlights; credit goes to Vice for stealing them from Jalouse, I guess. Is a man's behind safe for work? Who knows, who cares: if you're reading this, you're already in the wrong for not working. Enjoy.