Headlines A-Cumin'

Some news stories are surreal, and others just happen in Florida. This is the latter.

First, the headline:

Already, your brain should be doing rounds imagining the adultery, and you should be thinking ''man, people in Florida, just... man!''

But wait, there's more:

When your wife catches you blowing a dude on a boat off a Florida nude beach, the correct response is to immediately apologize, and, once the situation has cooled, have a frank, open conversation about sexuality. Not recommended: throwing her off of the back of your jet ski and leaving her for dead.

Uh huh. Yeah. Please go on...

Michael Doster was arrested for domestic battery in Passage Key, Florida after his wife Pamela discovered him in an intimate moment with another man on a boat near the popular nude beach (he and the man were allegedly performing oral sex on each other, the Daily Mail reports). The couple allegedly began arguing whilst atop a Sea-Doo, and Doster threw his wife off the vehicle four separate times. Pamela Doster refused to re-board after hitting her head on the final toss, so her husband left her on a sandbar.

''Refused to re-board''. As in, uh, ''was fucking unconscious''.

I can just imagine the couple's friends getting up in the morning to read that news... wondering if their reaction was more ''WHAT?'', or ''oh, huh, it happened''...