Misleading Headlines

So The Daily Mail entitled a post "Denny's patron rewards her waiter with a sex act", with the link on Facebook appearing as "The Shocking Moments A Denny's Patron Tips Her Waiter With A Sex Act", except it didn't go all the way.

That's misleading.

And the whole article, the man and woman - consenting adults - are shown as "unidentified", inviting further investigation, as is wondering if the poor sob who got tricked out of a tip by barely wetting his tip lost his job over the incident.

Shame on you, Daily Mail.

Headlines A-Cumin'

Some news stories are surreal, and others just happen in Florida. This is the latter.

First, the headline:

Already, your brain should be doing rounds imagining the adultery, and you should be thinking ''man, people in Florida, just... man!''

But wait, there's more:

When your wife catches you blowing a dude on a boat off a Florida nude beach, the correct response is to immediately apologize, and, once the situation has cooled, have a frank, open conversation about sexuality. Not recommended: throwing her off of the back of your jet ski and leaving her for dead.

Uh huh. Yeah. Please go on...

Michael Doster was arrested for domestic battery in Passage Key, Florida after his wife Pamela discovered him in an intimate moment with another man on a boat near the popular nude beach (he and the man were allegedly performing oral sex on each other, the Daily Mail reports). The couple allegedly began arguing whilst atop a Sea-Doo, and Doster threw his wife off the vehicle four separate times. Pamela Doster refused to re-board after hitting her head on the final toss, so her husband left her on a sandbar.

''Refused to re-board''. As in, uh, ''was fucking unconscious''.

I can just imagine the couple's friends getting up in the morning to read that news... wondering if their reaction was more ''WHAT?'', or ''oh, huh, it happened''...

NSFW: Olympic Sex, Sochi Edition

Who knew The Onion could be so accurate not only in their parodies but also reporting non-fiction?


Olympic Village Tour: See Where The Athletes Live, Train And Fuck Each Other

Of course, not only are Olympians receiving 100,000 condoms  for their two weeks - as usual - this time around, there's also a phone app designed to make matchmaking even more efficient, Tinder. So much so that some athletes, like Jamie Anderson, have had to uninstall it so they could concentrate on their events and win medals.

One thing's for sure, every athlete's spouse who stayed behind at home is probably wondering exactly how much sex is going on... and also secretly hoping never to find out.