Showing posts with label Gawker. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gawker. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Headlines A-Cumin'

Some news stories are surreal, and others just happen in Florida. This is the latter.

First, the headline:


Already, your brain should be doing rounds imagining the adultery, and you should be thinking ''man, people in Florida, just... man!''

But wait, there's more:
When your wife catches you blowing a dude on a boat off a Florida nude beach, the correct response is to immediately apologize, and, once the situation has cooled, have a frank, open conversation about sexuality. Not recommended: throwing her off of the back of your jet ski and leaving her for dead.
Uh huh. Yeah. Please go on...
Michael Doster was arrested for domestic battery in Passage Key, Florida after his wife Pamela discovered him in an intimate moment with another man on a boat near the popular nude beach (he and the man were allegedly performing oral sex on each other, the Daily Mail reports). The couple allegedly began arguing whilst atop a Sea-Doo, and Doster threw his wife off the vehicle four separate times. Pamela Doster refused to re-board after hitting her head on the final toss, so her husband left her on a sandbar.
''Refused to re-board''. As in, uh, ''was fucking unconscious''.

I can just imagine the couple's friends getting up in the morning to read that news... wondering if their reaction was more ''WHAT?'', or ''oh, huh, it happened''...

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Drugs And Christmas. Elf Edition

Sam Briggs is at it again.

He'd taken drugs then gone to work as a public servant before, and this time he's back as a gift-wrapping shopping mall elf, high on cocaine, LSD and Ketamine:



The Ketamine skit is both the longest-seeming and funniest, a dichotomy that represents the whole ''experiment'' very well.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Today's Hypocritical Republican: Trey Radel

Motherfucker, it happened again.

This time, his name is Trey Radel. His main gripe was welfare and food stamp recipients, or so we thought, and he wanted them all to have to test for drugs to receive government help and services.
He's a GOP Congressman, whose salary is paid by the government. He just got caught buying cocaine from an undercover cop, and has resigned.

Don't get me wrong - I'm happy he got caught.

But these fucking Republicans with their holier-than-thou causes always seem to get caught doing that very thing they were most against.

Hypocrites, the lot of 'em!

I tell ya, when one of them wants to outlaw something, just watch them closely for a year or two... they're the ones they're really afraid of.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Cop Kills Kid, Part 75



''To serve and protect.'' A motto dating back to the black-and-white days of yore, Pleasantville-type Utopian pasts of ''the way things were'', where the most rampant crime was underage smoking or forgetting to pay for your sundae at the drive-in diner.

Then again, there were less laws to even break back then, as cars didn't even have seat belts.

''Law enforcement'' has sure come  along way since then.

Wikipedia describes their job thusly:
Law enforcement broadly refers to any system by which some members of society act in an organized manner to enforce the law by discovering and punishing persons who violate the rules and norms governing that society. Although the term may encompass entities such as courts and prisons, it is most frequently applied to those who directly engage in patrols or surveillance to dissuade and discover criminal activity, and those who investigate crimes and apprehend offenders.[1] Furthermore, although law enforcement may be most concerned with the prevention and punishment of crimes, organizations exist to discourage a wide variety of non-criminal violations of rules and norms, effected through the imposition of less severe consequences.
But in the past 10 years or so, what is most commonly referred to as ''the police'' have resorted more to the ''force'' part of the word ''enforcement'', using military tactics, weapons, vehicles and excuses to become what many conspiracy theorists once warned we were headed towards: a police state.

From the mass brutal beatings of tens of thousands of kids who thought a tuition hike was too high, to repeatedly sodomizing people they arrest even when under media scrutiny (a fact that happens way too often in itself, but it seems New Mexico cops in particular now have developed a taste for it), to having a double-standard regarding aboriginal women in Canada, to selling information to organized crime, to killing innocent civilians - perhaps the saddest, disturbing, recurring situation of all.

It seems to go over people's heads when it's an alleged criminal receiving the bullet, and things are usually forgiving when it's the result of intermediary force - for example the result of getting tasered (and we're lucky that in instances where Tasers are used on 80-year-olds they aren't always fatal) - but there are clear instances where death should simply have never occurred under any circumstance, and today's example is the strongest in a long time: a man wanted to teach his son a lesson after taking his truck without authorization, so he did what anyone born prior to 1980 would do: he called the cops, thinking they'd bring the boy home, he'd have a scare, and he'd have learned his lesson and be good to get on with his life.

But that's not how cops work nowadays. They have a licence to kill and use it, they shoot first and ask questions never, they seem to no longer have to nor have the training for using submissive and/or non-lethal force first and whenever possible. And they no longer shoot to maim or stop - they shoot to kill, period. Sometimes even on clearly homeless folks, a story found everywhere from Santa Clara (aged 22) to Montréal (aged 40, also dead: a 36-year-old innocent bystander).

Tyler Comstock, though, was a bright 19-year-old kid  on his way to getting his GED.
Ames Police Officer Adam McPherson eventually fired six shots into the truck, two of which struck Tyler who was later pronounced dead.
The official report claims the action was necessary in order "to stop the ongoing threat to the public and the officers."
Tyler's dad says he was unarmed at the time.
The saddest and most common part of that story?
McPherson is currently on paid leave pending the results of his department's investigation.
Of course he is. His friends and co-workers are investigating him and the tactics he used, which are the exact same ones they use all the time. How in hell are they going to bring the whole thing down by saying he did anything wrong? And from that point on, how are any of those murderers with badges ever going to be tried in a court of law like the rest of us mere mortals or, rather, the target practice we seem to be to them.

And there is a kicker:
An unidentified person on the Ames police radio dispatch twice suggested that police back off their pursuit of a teen who allegedly stole a pickup truck from the work site he and his father were working at on Monday.
Sounds a lot like what George Zimmerman was told when he shot and killed an unarmed teen. I wonder how that turned out.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Crackhead Mayor

I've been relatively quiet here for the past week, which means I've also missed out on writing about Toronto mayor Rob Ford, the ultra-conservative genius who once said that people who use bikes and bike baths instead of cars and buses were ''two steps left of Joseph Stalin'', and his alleged crack cocaine usage.


Now that Gawker can't seem to find the guys who were selling the evidence, Ford has come out of hiding and officially denied the claim, but it looks more like ''now that's it's safe and those guys are afraid of getting caught, I think I can get away with it''.

Taking a week off from the controversy - some say he went into a quick rehab, came out for the press conference then back into rehab - only fueled the fire, as it gave the Globe And Mail time to research what became an 8-page story on the Ford siblings' history with drug trafficking.

The heat is on. Soon, the pig will be cooked.