Who Says Politicians Are All Alike?

Christine O'Donnell and Sarah Palin not only share half a brain and a knack for saying the dumbest shit, they also apparently see the same handlers who use the same marketing team and focus groups who are then sent to the same tailors.

Or maybe the Tea Party responds to prefers just one type of human being.

Or maybe they were all made at the same clone factory, which would make sense considering both were pretty much non-existent nobodies until mere months before a national election.

Which is also true for Clone #3, Michelle Bachmann:

For fuck's sake, people. Can't you see through this shit?

Irene Evens Things Out

Thank you, Hurricane Irene, for letting folks in the U.S. know how hard it is to drive in Montréal by making their streets just as bad as ours. And for turning people into socialists, too - the Right must be proud.

I Wonder How Lou Reed Feels About His Work With Metallica

Let's start from the start, as Loverboy would say.

Lou Reed, a legend in his own right - and perhaps an even larger one in his own mind - decided to take two German plays from the early 1900s and re-conceptualize them as a rock opera/musical of sorts called Lulu, and then enlisted Metallica as his backing band for the project.

Yes, the still-loved Reed (despite so-so albums based on the works of Edgar Allan Poe and live shows that piss off casual listeners and fans alike) has joined forces with the much-maligned/old-fans-hate-them Metallica for, essentially, an art project.

I for one, am confident it'll work, and not just because Reed's lyrics made both Kirk Hammet and James Hetfield cry. But I'm not as convinced as The Lou himself, who claims:

It’s maybe the best thing done by anyone, ever. It could create another planetary system. I’m not joking, and I’m not being egotistical.

Find out in November.

My Collectibles' Posts This Past Month

In case you missed it, I talked about 3 NHLers on my Collectibles Blog this (slow) month:

Derek Roy, of the Buffalo Sabres
Pat Falloon in his Junior days with the Spokane Chiefs
Ted Drury, sporting Team USA colours

Soon I'll make my predictions for the upcoming NHL season.

Overkill Much?

The most over-rated record of all time reaches a new milestone this September: turning 20. Ironic, considering most of Nirvana's fans reached that age just after 1994, when Kurt Cobain died.

In any event, the remaining members and producer Butch Vig will get together with Jon Stewart for a Q&A session on the 24th, recorded live for Sirius Radio. Of course, if you aren't a subscriber, you're fucked.

You'll also miss out on Nevermind Radio, a short-lived 24/7 station devoted to Nirvana that will run for less than a week, but there's nothing wrong with that. Missing it, I mean.

Come on, how many people still listen to ''the album that changed music forever'', especially in light of all the stupid fucking pop stars flooding the airwaves these days - and for the past decade? Not me, I tell you that.

But I will admit to listening to some In Utero once in a while.

Andy Did You Hear About This One?

Jim Carrey rocks! His wit is still sharp, his acting skills are still finely tuned, and he seems to be back in Andy Kaufman-mode:





Poor Emma Stone, though. He could have used any other 'clean' celebrity to focus on - I'm looking at you, Zooey Deschanel and Olivia Wilde - but chose the star of the new film The Help instead, probably because she's everywhere these days.

Name In Vain

Michelle Bachmann said more stupid things recently when she claimed Hurricane Irene was a ''message from God'':





Her handlers have since tried to make us believe it was a joke. Real funny. Go tell it to those who lost everything they had.

And what happened to that commandment of not taking the Lord's name in vain? Jesus Christ, lady, for an über-Christian on the far-right of the political spectrum for most of what you stand for, you sure know how to fuck things up for yourself.

And yet, you remain in the race. Which doesn't speak well of your supporters' IQs. Just sayin'. How's your gay husband doing?

Happy Birthday, Tim Burton

I would be remiss if I didn't mention that last week (August 25th) was Tim Burton's birthday; he turned 53.

His detractors will say he's over-rated, but so what? These five films are arguably some of the best films made in their respective release years, and other really good ones like Sleepy Hollow didn't even make the cut.

And say what you will about his remake of Planet Of The Apes (I liked it), and I'm sure most would agree his Alice In Wonderland sucked - but even his, uh, less than stellar films at least look amazing.

He's like a gateway to David Lynch for teenagers.

Here's his first well-known short, Vincent:

Hockey Night In Goofy Land

If you know anything about hockey, you might be disappointed at how this 1945 Disney short featuring Goofy (in most roles...) depicts my national sport... ripe with multiple fights, gratuitous violence (yes, it's a Disney flick!), few actual goals (but more than 700 total!) and lacrosse-inspired slap shots.

Oh, and it's called Hockey Homicide... great title!

Check Meat

While Morrissey famously sang Meat Is Murder, it seems fake (i"e. 'processed') meat is even worse: cancer-inducing.

I particularly like this paragraph:

Processed meats include bacon, sausage, hot dogs, sandwich meat, packaged ham, pepperoni, salami and virtually all red meat used in frozen prepared meals. They are usually manufactured with a carcinogenic ingredient known as sodium nitrite. This is used as a color fixer by meat companies to turn packaged meats a bright red color so they look fresh.

They later make sure to not lump fresh red meat into the same categories, but still, in many supermarkets, frozen food and crap meat are just about the only affordable shit available.

And the list of shit meat is actually really extensive: beef jerky, manufactured sausages, hot dogs, bacon, sandwich meat, frozen pizza with meat, canned soup with meat, frozen meals with meat, ravioli and meat pasta foods, kids' pre-arranged meals with meat, and:

Nearly all red meats sold at public schools, restaurants, hospitals, hotels and theme parks

I like that it includes hospitals, of all fucking places.

So: check the ingredients on everything you purchase, and don’t buy anything made with sodium nitrite or monosodium glutamate (also known as MSG, that salt-like ingredient in chips and many buffets that tricks your brain into craving the food).

Or don't. We all need to die of something.

Ball Handling

I bet she could give a few basketball players some ball-handling lessons... wait, no, that's not how I should have phrased that.

Video Of The Week: Red Hot Chili Peppers

Sure, I made the Red Hot Chili Peppers the Video Of The Week just a short while ago, but The Adventures Of Rain Dance Maggie is a funky song - and it'll be banging from all the cars and radio stations until winter arrives.

So before we start hating it after too much over-exposure, why not appreciate it for what it is: a much-welcome break from all the rap songs that sample the same fucking 1990 techno beat and/or that Harry Belafonte song, and the shitty auto-tuned pop starlets currently polluting our ears. Yes, all of you.

Enjoy the Peppers on L.A. rooftops, at the beach, marvel at their big-breasted fans (0:52, 1:28) and keep telling yourself ''I can't believe Anthony Kiedis grew a porn mustache!''

Spoonman?

No, this isn't a re-post of a previous Video Of The Week by Soundgarden.

It's actually a video about a guy playing his guitar very well... with a spoon in his mouth instead of a regular slide. Great stuff!

Jani Lane Tribute Concert

If you're in L.A. and were of fan of Warrant and Jani Lane (who died last week), you might want to check out the tribute concert held on the 29th at Hollywood's Key Club.

It'll feature performances by Great White, Quiet Riot, Enuff Z'nuff, Slammin Gladys and - in my opinion - the only band worth going to see, L.A. Guns, although I'm unaware which version (Tracii Guns' or Phil Lewis') will be playing.

Justice Has Been Served... Better Late Than Never

After 18 years of millions of supporters' efforts surrealistically being ignored by the American Justice System, the West Memphis Three have finally been released, acquitted of murder. Well, technically, they were forced to plead guilty to a lesser charge so they cannot sue the State of Arkansas, but they were released.

Tons of artists such as Pearl Jam (whose singer Eddie Vedder was in attendance accompanied by Johnny Depp, who has joined him in fund-raising concerts), the Dixie Chicks, X, Anthrax, and Sage Francis had publicly taken their side and asked for a new trial - and even less political acts such as My Chemical Romance, Soul Coughing and Mandy Moore went to Twitter to approve of the reversal.

Many books - including the seminal Devil's Knot by Mara Leveritt and WM3 member Damien Echols himself's Almost Home - as well as the documentary Paradise Lost by Joe Berlinger had brought the subject to light, but Vedder's and the Dixie Chicks' voices took it to the mainstream, raising funds for their new legal defense, which included DNA testing and countless hours of lawyers sifting through Arkansas paperwork.

Now comes the treacherous work, though, the flip-side, if you will: these kids had better walk straight for a long while, because hundreds of very public figures have put their asses and reputations on the line for them, and should one of them falter and lead a life of crime and get caught, the backlash/backfire could be grandiose; cries of ''they were criminals'' will erupt and might even affect the other two's lives as well.

So here begins the next biggest battle of their lives...

Do You Like Contests?

(edit: the contest is now closed)

Do you like contests? I sure do.

And if you've ever read my collectibles blog, you'll notice I particularly enjoy entertainment and sports memorabilia.

This blog I've just started following has both, for the time being - a contest in which the prizes are sports collectibles.

And I encourage you to enter, but I would prefer if I were the winner. Tough conundrum, eh?

But contests are fun. Enjoy!

(the picture is from a mailing I received from NHL superstar Ryan Smyth, a.k.a. Captain Canada)

Plug: My Saturday Show's In The Paper

Once again, we made the Montreal Mirror!

This time, the Mile-End Mission benefit shows organized by my friends at Four Minutes To Midnight (also called the Sake Of The Songs benefit series) got a full article in the Mirror, in which I was even mentioned as a regular in the series (a ''usual suspect'' if you will), alongside many others who were in our Velvet Underground cover project last year.

There's a different theme each time around, and this time it's a tribute to the Red Wedge movement and tour because organizer John Stuart feels there are too many similarities between Stephen Harper and Margaret Thatcher - and wanted to make a political statement about the Conservatives winning a majority during the last elections despite 60% of voters voting against them, meaning they got roughly 20% of the votes from the eligible electorate.

Christine O'Donnell Doesn't Stand By Her Principles

It seems former Tea Party poster girl Christine O'Donnell doesn't understand that a TV interview is not a press release nor a press conference but rather a question-and-answer session led by a host - usually a journalist, or at least someone with at least half a brain and an IQ higher than that of a slice of pizza.

But the former witch and still-against-gay-marriage O'Donnell didn't like Piers Morgan's (of all people) questions and stormed off his show, presumably as advised by her staff. And called him ''rude''. says all he wanted to talk about was ''sex'' - albeit the type she would prefer be ''forbidden''.

Good thing some polls show the Tea Party's policies and ideas as less popular among Americans than even Muslims. A weird statement (''Muslims not being popular'') for anyone living elsewhere, but you know how it is...

Rick Perry Versus Evolution

Remember Rick Perry, the Republican Presidential candidate I was telling you about last week? In this video, a kid's mom wants him to talk about evolution/science/creationism, trough the young'in's mouth, but Perry has ears. And a well-prepared answer scripted by press release and public relations experts, full of empty phrases that mean next to nothing.

Video Thrilled The Kids' Dads

Now I feel like watching kids' shows...

Notice how she starts lifting her ''dress'' up at 2 minutes...

When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go...

They call it ''Pee Gate''. Well, they don't, but they could have. If the news were consistent.

This article right here says in the picture caption that when French actor Gérard Depardieu was told he had to wait and he couldn't keep it in, he peed in a bottle. But the article itself says he pissed on the floor.

Who knows.

Plug: Drummer Jackie Gallant At Monastiraki On Sunday

Jackie Gallant (Lesbians On Ecstacy, American Devices), drummer extraordinaire and Montréal legend with whom I was lucky enough to play in the cover band Loaded not just once but three times last year is playing a solo show this coming Sunday, around 2PM, at museum/thrift shop Monastiraki (5478 St-Laurent).

A sight to behold, for sure. My favourite drummer not named Jack Irons, I tell you.

(terrific photo by Sandra Lynn Belanger)

Rats Exonerated For Plague

Nearly 700 years after the fact, a British archaeologist named Barney Sloane claims rats can now be considered off the hook for the infection which cost countless human lives - perhaps up to two-thirds of London in 1348 and 1349.

That's a relief. For rat lovers.

It now leaves the rest of us with more questions than answers, though.

Video Of The Week: A. Samuels

According to ''legend'', A. Samuels was a big-time casino worker, or owner, or something. Then he decided he wasn't living ''de life'' enough, which essentially means blowing your money on expensive cars (likely rented for the day) and even more expensive women (likely the same).

Or so this song says implies.

He's got an ok flow for a 55-year old white guy, but claims that he's from ''the hood'' can have no other effect than to leave one laughing out loud and pissing their pants. Which I did.

I mean, Livin De Life, it's got everything that made Livin' La Vida Loca cheesy, but with the added word ''bitches'' and a shout out to Newark, New Jersey.

Look for the infomercial-like speech that starts it off, a lawyer that looks more like a librarian (and also acts as his black friend) 45 seconds in, the 4-person party in his suite at 1:07 (featuring what looks like his nephew, trying not to look embarrassed), all the religions it ''ain't about'' at 1:15, rapping through a cloud of smoke at 1:55 (street cred!), uncomfortable arm-moving at 2:04, a dude who somehow made it onto Samuels' ''private plane'' at 2:28, shout out to the cops at 2:40, Samuels mouthing the speech from Jason Terry's mouth at 3:10

You Wanted A Huge Rock...

Small-town mayors can be hard-working, good-natured gentlemen who know everyone in their county by their first name and hangs out in the same places his populace does. They can also be comical, ego-driven douchebags who use the law to their advantage and seek out nothing more than to extend their own benefits.

Somewhere along that scale lies Dany Larivière, mayor of St-Théodore-d'Acton, who delivered a giant boulder to his ex-wife as a birthday present, via an excavation company he owns.

What I like most is how he concludes the story:

"It's just an issue between me and my ex-wife," Lariviere said.
"I don't recommend people take actions like this."

 Yeah, neither do I.

Speaking Of Controversial Comedians...

Popcrunch made a list of the 10 most controversial comedians of all time, throwing in a relative unknown (Dick Gregory) for good measure, but you know what?

It's a pretty good fucking list.

George Carlin, Psychic

Word for fucking word, three years and one President after he died, we all got proof that he was 150% right last week.

George Carlin was voted second on Comedy Central's list of 100 best stand-up comedians of all time (ahead of Lenny Bruce, behind Richard Pryor), in which all members of the top-3 were not only hilarious but also very important voices in Social Change - and justice and rights.

But only Bill Hicks came close in predicting the future, and even he was off; Carlin was dead-on. Bleak, negative, almost apocalyptic - but dead-on.