Saturday, November 23, 2013

This Week's Top 10s

Top 10 Songs:

10. BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES, Atoms For Peace (2012)
9. MIND YOUR MANNERS, Pearl Jam (2013)
8. GAMES WITHOUT FRONTIERS (Peter Gabriel cover), Arcade Fire (2013)
7. BLOOD ON THE CURTAINS, Melted Faces (2013)
6. REFLEKTOR, Arcade Fire (with David Bowie) (2013)
5. BERZERK, Eminem (2013)
4. BIG SHOT, The Pack A.D. (2013)
2. HIGH ROAD, Cults (2013)
1. FOR IT ALL NOW, Outernational (2013)

Top 10 Months To Live In Montréal:

10. January
9. October
8. March
7. December
6. September
5. April
4. May
3. June
2. August
1. July

Nothing bet Montréal in the summer. Nothing. Not heroin, sex (though it's the perfect time to get plenty), sports, music, films, arts, being healthy (though it helps), poutine, video games, Facebook, squishing your own fruit to make juice, good-hearted people, traveling, sleeping in, sleepless nights, nothing.

April edges September because the specter of hockey playoffs beats a plethora of birthdays just because I'd rather it start getting warm than start getting cold - though the end result is the same (cotton hoodies or jackets over your t-shirt), it's better when you're subtracting a layer rather than adding. It's reverse-math. That's the same reason why November lost to January and didn't make the cut: the ''cold November rain'' Axl Rose was talking about? It just proves there is no God: it smelled like winter, feels like water, but freezes you up at the slightest bit of wind worse than your worst breakup ever did.

And don't get me started on February, despite it being the shortest month, it's the coldest by far. And I mean sub-sub-sub-zero temperatures, the type that make your home heater explode, that literally freezes your eyeballs and makes Hoth seem like a Hawaiian vacation. You know how most beauty pagent wanna-bes would wish for peace on earth? A smart person would wish for February hibernation for mankind.

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