Saturday, September 28, 2013

Top 10 Songs Of The Week

Top 10 Songs:

10. DRAG ROPES, Storm Corrosion (2012)
9. KANKEJMEURRE, Les Anticipateurs (2013)
8. WE DRIFT LIKE WORRIED FIREGodspeed You! Black Emperor (2012)
7. FOUR BLACK SHEEP, Martha Wainwright (2012)
6. I COULD HAVE LIED, Red Hot Chili Peppers (1991)
5. CAME BACK HAUNTED, Nine Inch Nails (2013)
4. GAMES WITHOUT FRONTIERS (Peter Gabriel cover), Arcade Fire (2013)
3. SIRENS, Pearl Jam (2013)
2. YOUTH WITHOUT YOUTH, Metric (2012)
1. REFLEKTOR, Arcade Fire (with David Bowie) (2013)

Video Of The Week: Red Hot Chili Peppers

They were a truly important voice in music from 1988 until 1999; they were influential from 1983 to 1991. They have recorded one of the best albums of all time, Blood Sugar Sex Magik.

After BSSM, though, the once-experimental, punk-meets-funk outfit Red Hot Chili Peppers started getting repetitive, with each funk song resembling Give It Away and all ballads sounding too much like Under The Bridge, but for the moment of an incredible record, they came up with 17 (!!) incredibly different, all great songs full of witty and/or intelligent lyrics, nervous and funky bass lines, inventive guitar work and percussions worth a record of their own.

One song they'd never try to replicate was Breaking The Girl, a rare 6/8-timed song in their catalog, with building beats and guitar chord progressions reminiscent of Led Zeppelin's Middle Eastern-influenced songs best captured when Robert Plant and Jimmy Page went Unledded.

The lyrics detail a rocky relationship - classic ballad material - but with the music, it just created a whole different universe for it to live and evolve in. The video, directed by acclaimed director and (war) photographer Stéphane Sednaoui (who also directed their video for Give It Away) is an experimentation in saturated colours, not unlike his previous work with U2 (Mysterious Ways) a year earlier, and adds yet another layer to the whole ordeal:

At a time where pop/dance videos shot in front of a white background were clinging on for their life, grunge bands were concentrating on live clips or two-tone videos full of close-ups and Guns N' Roses were waving the 8-minute epic flag by themselves, Breaking The Girl stood alone as a work of art, a testament to the song's authors for creating such an oddity that was still right where it needed to be.

Friday, September 27, 2013

My Friends Are So Distressed

Our friendship started in late 1990, except it wasn't exactly friendship at first: we were sharing a dormitory with 100 other 7th-graders, and his bunk was next to mine. And that fucking Alexandre Paul, known to his friends as Po Paul, was a heck of a snorer. So eventually, I started throwing water at him when he snored - I fought fire with... water.

Maybe the water was an omen.

Anyhow, before the school year was over, we were inseparable buddies, part of a group of like-minded music aficionados, with a tendency bent towards hard rock. Sure, we had our differences - he preferred Nirvana and solo Ozzy Osbourne, I loved Pearl Jam and the first Black Sabbath line-up. Ultimately, though, we could agree on the important things: Guns N' Roses kicked ass.

We also got along outside of school, spending most of our weekends walking day-long treks from my house in the Western part of Montréal, through downtown with countless stops at HMV, Burger King, Sam The Record Man's and Labyrinthe, all the way to his folks' place, in the East end. If the night included a sleepover, we'd watch Saturday Night Live together.

The son of a fireman whose nickname he inherited, Po Paul always wanted to do whatever he could to help ensure he and we would be able to live in a better, fairer, safer, cleaner world, and so it was a match made in heaven when he joined Greenpeace some 15 years ago. From door-to-door canvasser to supervisor to rider of the sea, his ascension throughout their ranks is exceptional.

Then again, he's a pretty awesome guy to begin with.

I'm often asked why Montréal is home to so many activists and great artists, and my answer is usually two-fold and quite simple: it's an awesome place full of utopian potential, yet it was led to being a complete shithole by profiteers who took advantage of the people's good hearts. And so many are fighting to make it - or the rest of the world - a better place.

Po Paul's journey was put on pause recently when he and 11 other activists were arrested in Russia on charges of piracy, for attempting to board an oil rig; they were denied bail and the investigation will last 60 days, though they have yet to actually be charged with anything.

Greenpeace is protesting and appealing, but as we've seen with the Pussy Riot trials and the recent ''anti-gay-propaganda'' extravaganza, Russia - like Russians - couldn't care less about political or outside pressure; they beat to their own drum, and they drum loudly.

Which is the main reason why Po Paul's mom is freaking out, seeing as he's facing a possible 15 years of gulag jail time if he is indeed found guilty. For trying to make a difference, and almost standing in the way of Big Oil.

We'll know in a couple of months whether this farce will taste like Justice or Abuse Of Power, but there are lots of reasons to be scared.

Godspeed, my friend, and best of luck. You've been in our thoughts all week, and we're keeping you there front and center.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Top 10s This Week

Top 10 Songs:

10. KING OF COPENHAGEN, The Mahones (2013)
9. CAME BACK HAUNTED, Nine Inch Nails (2013)
8. IF THE RIVER WAS WHISKEY, Spin Doctors (2013)
7. FOUR BLACK SHEEP, Martha Wainwright (2012)
6. KANKEJMEURRE, Les Anticipateurs (2013)
5. DRAG ROPES, Storm Corrosion (2012)
4. LE QUART DU CRISS, Les Anticipateurs (2013)
3. SIRENS, Pearl Jam (2013)
2. YOUTH WITHOUT YOUTH, Metric (2012)
1. REFLEKTOR, Arcade Fire (with David Bowie) (2013)

Top 10 Songs About Guns:

10. HAPPINESS IS A WARM GUN (The Beatles cover), The Breeders (1990)
9. MACHINE GUN, Jimi Hendrix (1970)
8. LAWYERS, GUNS AND MONEY, Warren Zevon (1978)
7. DIAMONDS AND GUNS, Transplants (2002)
6. SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIAL, Lynyrd Skynyrd (1975)
5. JANIE'S GOT A GUN, Aerosmith (1989)
4. THAT'S WHEN I REACH FOR MY REVOLVER, Mission Of Burma (1981)
3. 16 SHELLS FROM A THIRTY-OUGHT SIX, Tom Waits (1983)
2. THE GUNS OF BRIXTON, The Clash (1979)
1. BANG BANG (MY BABY SHOT ME DOWN) (Cher cover), Nancy Sinatra (1966)

Honorable mentions: Big Man With A Gun by Nine Inch Nails, and Me And A Gun by Tori Amos, both dealing with the issue of rape, one as the perpetrator, the other from the victim's side; I deliberately left out hip hop songs because that would have been the whole top-10, probably - and there would have been too many to choose from. One of the least violent groups out there, Cypress Hill, has at least 25 on their own, with Cock The Hammer, and A To The K first coming to mind.

Top 10 Songs (Mostly) About Bombs:

10. I'M A BOMB, Natasha Bedingfield (2004)
9. SPANISH BOMBS, The Clash (1979)
8. BOMBTRACK, Rage Against The Machine (1992)
7. CHERRY BOMB, The Runaways (1976)
6. YOU DROPPED A BOMB ON ME, The Gap Band (1982)
5. THE WAKE-UP BOMB, R.E.M. (1996)
4. CALM LIKE A BOMB, Rage Against The Machine (2000)
3. B.O.B. (BOMBS OVER BAGHDAD), Outkast (2000)
2. ROCKETS FALL ON ROCKET FALLS, Godspeed You! Black Emperor (2002)
1. TIME BOMB, Rancid (1995)

Honorable mentions: Tom Waits' Sex Bomb, and all the other songs in which being ''The (or Da) Bomb'' is the best thing possible, or ''bombing'' is the worst.

Pearls Of Wisdom: Bill Maher's New Rules, Sept 20, 2013

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

1995 In Film

Continuing on a theme I started two weeks ago, I'm publishing lists I'd compiled to celebrate achievements in film. For some reason, I decided to start with 1996. Here is the prequel to that, 1995, a year with sad and intense performances, and with dark, hard films:

Top 20 Films:

20. LEAVING LAS VEGAS, Mike Figgis (USA)
18. BAD BOYS, Michael Bay (USA)
17. UNDERGROUND, Emir Kustarica (France/Hungary/Yougoslavia/Germany/Bulgaria)
16. DESPERADO, Robert Rodriguez (USA)
15. GHOST ON THE SHELL, Mamoru Oshii (Japan)
14. TOY STORY, John Lasseter (USA)
13. KIDS, Larry Clark (USA)
12. THE USUAL SUSPECTS, Bryan Singer (USA)
11. ANTONIA'S LINE, Marleen Gorris (The Netherlands)
10. FALLEN ANGELS, Wong Kar-wai (Hong Kong)
9. DEAD PRESIDENTS, The Hughes Brothers (USA)
8. STRANGE DAYS, Kathryn Bigelow (USA)
7. THE LAST SUPPER, Stacy Title (USA)
6. SE7EN, David Fincher (USA)
4. LE CONFESSIONAL, Robert Lepage (Québec)
3. LA CITÉ DES ENFANTS PERDUS, Jean-Pierre Jeunet & Marc Caro (France)
2. LA HAINE, Mathieu Kassovitz (France)
1. 12 MONKEYS, Terry Gilliam (USA)

Top 20 Directors:

20. MAMORU OSHII, Ghost In The Shell
18. SEAN PENN, The Crossing Guard
17. SCOTT KALVERT, The Basketball Diaries
15. ROB EPSTEIN & JEFFREY FRIEDMAN , The Celluloid Closet
14. AGNÈS VARDA, Les Cent Et Une Nuits De Simon Cinéma
13. JOHN SINGLETON, Higher Learning
12. JOHN LASSETER, Toy Story
11. WONG KAR-WAI, Fallen Angels
9. MARLEEN GORRIS, Antonia's Line
7. EMIR KUSTARICA, Underground
5. JEAN-PIERRE JEUNET & MARC CARO, La Cité Des Enfants Perdus
4. KATHRYN BIGELOW, Strange Days
3. ROBERT LEPAGE, Le Confessional
1. TERRY GILLIAM, 12 Monkeys

Top 15 Lead Actors:

15. RON ELDARD, The Last Supper
14. BRUCE WILLIS, 12 Monkeys
13. AL PACINO, Heat
12. RALPH FIENNES, Strange Days
11. MASSIMO TROISI, Il Postino (The Postman)
10. LOTHAIRE BLUTEAU, Le Confessional
9. JACK NICHOLSON, The Crossing Guard
8. GARY SINISE, Truman
7. STEVE BUSCEMI, Living In Oblivion
4. ROBERT DOWNEY JR., Home For The Holidays
3. LEONARDO DICAPRIO, The Basketball Diaries
2. SEAN PENN, Dead Man Walking
1. NICOLAS CAGE, Leaving Las Vegas

Top 15 Lead Actresses:

15. SALMA HAYEK, Desperado
14. JUDITH VITTET, La Cité Des Enfants Perdus
13. N'BUSHE WRIGHT, Dead Presidents
12. MERYL STREEP, The Bridges Of Madison County
11. MADELEINE STOWE, 12 Monkeys
9. ROBIN WRIGHT, The Crossing Guard
8. ROSE McGOWAN, The Doom Generation
6. CATHERINE KEENER, Living In Oblivion
5. SUSAN SARANDON, Dead Man Walking
4. DEMI MOORE, The Scarlett Letter
3. ANGELA BASSETT, Strange Days
1. CAMERON DIAZ, The Last Supper

Top 15 Supporting Actors:

14. PHILIPPE NOIRET, Il Postino (The Postman)
13. SAMUEL L. JACKSON, Die Hard With A Vengeance
10. JOE PESCI, Casino
9. DOMINIQUE PINON, La Cité Des Enfants Perdus
8. CHRIS TUCKER, Dead Presidents
7. LAURENCE FISHBURNE, Higher Learning
5. STEVE BUSCEMI, Desperado
4. BILL PAXTON, The Last Supper
3. BRUNO KIRBY, The Basketball Diaries
2. BRAD PITT, 12 Monkeys
1. KEVIN SPACEY, The Usual Suspects

Top 15 Supporting Actresses:

15. GINA GERSHON, Showgirls
14. MIRA SORVINO, Mighty Aphrodite
13. JOAN ALLEN, Nixon
11. JENNIFER CONNELLY, Higher Learning
10. HOLLY HUNTER, Copycat
9. TÉA LEONI, Bad Boys
8. SOPHIE MARCEAU, Braveheart
5. MARIA GRAZIA CUCINOTTA, Il Postino (The Postman)
4. KAREN MOK, Fallen Angels
3. ANNABETH GISH, The Last Supper
2. ANJELICA HUSTON, The Crossing Guard
1. ELS DOTTERMANS, Antonia's Line

Top 20 Screenplays:

18. HEAT, Michael Mann
17. DEAD PRESIDENTS, The Hughes Brothers & Michael Henry Brown
16. LEAVING LAS VEGAS, Mike Figgis
15. THE BASKETBALL DIARIES, Jim Carroll & Bryan Goluboff
14. SAFE, Todd Haynes
13. LE CONFESSIONAL, Robert Lepage
12. STONEWALL, Rikki Beadle-Blair & Martin Duberman
11. HEAVY, James Mangold
10. ANTONIA'S LINE, Marleen Gorris
9. SE7EN, Andrew Kevin Walker
8. STRANGE DAYS, James Cameron & Jay Cocks
7. KIDS, Harmony Korine
5. LA HAINE, Mathieu Kassovitz
4. LA CITÉ DES ENFANTS PERDUS, Gilles Adrien & Jean-Pierre Jeunet
2. 12 MONKEYS, David Peoples & Janet Peoples
1. THE USUAL SUSPECTS, Christopher McQuarrie

Top 10 Cinematographers:

10. JIM FEALY, The Doom Generation
9. RALF BODE, Don Juan De Marco
6. ALAIN DOSTIE, Le Confessional
4. MATTHEW F. LEONETTI, Strange Days
1. PIERRE AIM, La Haine

Top 10 Villains:

9. VIGGO MORTENSEN, The Prophecy
6. MICHAEL WINCOTT, Strange Days
5. GINA GERSHON, Showgirls
4. ROBERT DUVALL, The Scarlett Letter
3. JOE PESCI, Casino
2. CHRIS PENN, To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar
1. BRUNO KIRBY, The Basketball Diaries

Monday, September 16, 2013

Video Of The Week: Steve Miller Band

Sometimes your brain does you a favour and forgets the past. My brain loves me, and it enabled me to not remember a shred of evidence of the existence of this 1982 ''hit'' song...

But first things first: Steve Miller Band were huge in the 1970s, and we owe them a bunch of classic rock staples such as The Joker (''I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker''), Fly Like An Eagle, Key To The Highway, Take The Money And Run and Rock'n Me. Songs your dad (or grandfather) rode on the highway with his top down to, smoking and drinking while driving. All truck-drivin' songs.

And yet, this is the same band that released Abracadabra, a song so bad and cheesy I thought it was by Hall & Oates. But noooooo...

''Abracadabra'' is usually an incantation that precedes a magic trick's conclusion, and in this case, it worked: all matters of good taste have disappeared into the making of this song, just as your self-respect will disappear listening to it.

The rabbit in the hat is long gone, the assistant has been sowed in half twice, someone from the crowd has a knife stuck in their head and another spectator is missing a hand, and someone else is missing altogether.

This song is the result of everything going wrong. So much so that it probably killed Houdini; for sure it ended David Copperfield's career.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

The Birthday Boy

I skimmed through a few birthday memories in this post, and some have been more memorable than others - my 30th was my all-time best, for sure, what with all the members of both my families plus childhood friends and my then-girlfriend together in the same room, most of them for the first time in 29 years, culminating with a short film recap of my life so far and everybody having chipped in for my trip to Cuba.

I've had some with events I regret - like when I was 3 or 4, coming home to a surprise party, pretending to be offended by it, and going as far as to refuse chocolate cake in protest of half my family being there. I still feel like a dick for it, and I felt like one even at the time (kids have consciences, I guess).

Then there's some like tonight: quiet, laid-back, just a few friends in a restaurant. Six people - enough to carry out and follow two conversations at once and have everyone involved, not too much to lose track of certain people deserving of your attention but too far to get it.

I'll remember my mid-thirties' anniversary because it was perfect: not overblown, over-hyped or out-of-proportion, no disrespect, no negativity, no one to mess it all up. Just good, old, middle-of-the-road, laid back fun.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Thanks, Jimmy Kimmel

At first I was going to edit last week's post and say it turned out to be a prank by Jimmy Kimmel and his staff...

Well, that's not entirely true. At first, I totally forgot I posted about it. Then I thought about editing it earlier this week, then I forgot about it again until I looked at my blog today - which I don't normally do.

I saw it, then actually thought about modifying it, and figured ''nah'', because I kind of already had:

For now, we assume Caitlin Heller is really the girl in the following video, and that she really put it up on YouTube for us all to laugh at:
(then the video)
But because these are the internets, and the series of tubes have fooled us before, we will assume at a 25% level that it could be her boyfriend (or ex), or roommate, or even an enemy who put it online; we'll know for sure in a year, when she has committed suicide - or not.

''She'' is quoted as saying:

I tried making a sexy twerk video for my boyfriend and things got a little too hot :)
WOW! Didn't expect all this attention. I'm fine. Just a little embarrassed!! THX!!
 So I saw it coming. Kinda. But not to this extent:

So instead of modifying the ''original'' post, I went and made a brand-new one instead. Two-for-none, basically.

Scientifically-Accurate Spider-Man

Forget what you thought you knew about Peter Parker's alter-ego...

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

This Week's Top 10s

Top 10 Songs:

10. IF THE RIVER WAS WHISKEY, Spin Doctors (2013)
9. WAR, Edwin Starr (1970)
8. DRAG ROPES, Storm Corrosion (2012)
7. MASTERS OF WAR, Bob Dylan (1963)
6. NO MORE, Eddie Vedder & Ben Harper (2008)
5. FOUR BLACK SHEEP, Martha Wainwright (2012)
4. CAME BACK HAUNTED, Nine Inch Nails (2013)
3. MIND YOUR MANNERS, Pearl Jam (2013)
2. YOUTH WITHOUT YOUTH, Metric (2012)
1. REFLEKTOR, Arcade Fire (with David Bowie) (2013)

Top 10 Songs I Was Listening To On ''The'' 9/11:

10. SO WHAT, Miles Davis (1959)
9. TESTIFY, Rage Against The Machine (1999)
8. MAYONAISE, Smashing Pumpkins (1993)
7. GIN & JUICE, Snoop Doggy Dogg (1993)
6. LE DÔME, Jean Leloup (1996)
5. DEAD LEAVES AND THE DIRTY GROUND, The White Stripes (2001)
4. CLINT EASTWOOD, Gorillaz (2001)
3. CHOP SUEY! System Of A Down (2001)
2. MRS. JACKSON, Outkast (2001)
1. GRIEVANCE, Pearl Jam (2000)

Keep in mind I was staying at a motel in Trois-Rivières (a modest-sized city in rural Québec) when the attacks took place, so I'd brought a discman with some 25 CDs along for the ride... I was rooming with my best friend, guitarist and at times political inspiration Alex Beaudoin-Duquette (a.k.a. 'Mala Estrala') and we saw the first plane crash almost-live on the news when it was still thought of as an accident and had happened seconds before, watched for a bit, then headed down to the bar/cafeteria for breakfast, where we saw the second plane hit.

Then our world changed.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Worse Than An Actual Chemistry Playset?

Apparently some folks in the U.K. are going bonkers over a new line of toys by Citizen Brick (the actual Lego brand refused any involvement, so the Men With The Ideas went to a rip-off company instead) over a Breaking Bad-inspired line of toys dubbed SuperLab...

What's funny is that both sides are pissed off: the ''save our children'', religious/law-abiding (as if!) crowd are angry that a line of toys inspired by a TV series based on the making and selling of crystal meth that has so many underage views use such blunt dug paraphernalia throughout the playset; and those who'd let it be are mad that it sells for £160 ($250 US).

Here's what I think: if you're too dumb a parent to stop your fucking kids from watching a TV show that airs well past their bedtime and is based around the sale of one of the harshest drugs out there, you have no right to complain about the secondary market making a buck off of said show. There's a reason it's classified 18+ in most places (16+ in Québec): it deals with harsh shit, a lot of it illegal, most of it violent.

And if you're a collector willing to spend half your rent money on a line of toys, don't be surprised if an actual meth addict ends up stealing it from you at some point, either to resell it, or just to have memorabilia from the show that inspired them to start doing drugs in the first place.

I'm sure a chemistry play set like parents gave their kids 30 years ago mixed with some methylamine could do so much more damage anyhow.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Video of The Week: Arcade Fire (With David Bowie)

Well, it's 9/9/9PM...

In this day and age, you'd think Arcade Fire might have had a hard time keeping a lid on its activities, but no. First they stopped dozens of weekend online leaks of their new single Reflektor, then had David Bowie refrain from confirming that he is, in fact, the man providing background vocals (he is, he confirmed it past 9 on his Facebook page) and released all their singles at 9, precisely the same time they were set to hit the stage at Salsathèque.

And now we learn they've been more than active on multiple fronts: their album is still hush-hush, but in addition to this week's feature directed by esteemed photographer (U2's The Joshua Tree album cover, videographer (many by U2 and Depeche Mode, Nirvana's terrific Heart-Shaped Box) and filmmaker (the Joy Division biopic Control) Anton Corbijn, which I'll post right here:

There is also an online/phone app/documentary/art installation directed by Vincent Morisset and developped by Google (thus, it works best using Chrome and Android) which, when watching while having both the phone and a webcam on, produces weird effects inside the video (more information at It was shot in Haiti.

Arcade Fire's ''Secret Show'' Tonight

After playing a secret show at Salsathèque last week, Arcade Fire are back at it again tonight, in a half-secret show (it is advertized on the venue's website this time around as being a show by The Reflektors, the band's single that is to be released tonight at 9PM, same time as the show):

The poster's in the same type of art as the single's cover. I expect big things, but so do the thousands who have been lined up outside since early this morning. There are more folks out there than there is room inside.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

1996 In Film

When I was in film school (1995-96, then 1998-01), I kept lists of the best films, performances, cinematography, direction and screenplays in journals, next to bits of screenplays. The idea was to have certain characters or types in mind - usually more underground or independent fare - to inspire me, and a side of creating a comprehensive critical ''dictionary'' of films complete with yearly awards (this was before IMDB, mind you, when paper still mattered).

It didn't materialize, but the lists remain. Here's the first:

Top 15 Films:

15. SLEEPERS, Barry Levinson (USA)
14. BREAKING THE WAVES, Lars Von Trier (Denmark/Scotland)
13. MARS ATTACKS!, Tim Burton (USA)
12. BASQUIAT, Julian Schnabel (USA)
11. LE POLYGRAPHE, Robert Lepage (Québec)
10. CRASH, David Cronenberg (Canada)
9. BOUND, The Wachowski Brothers (USA)
8. FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, Robert Rodriguez (USA)
7. TREES LOUNGE, Steve Buscemi (USA)
6. RIDICULE, Patrice Leconte (France)
4. FARGO, Joel & Ethan Coen (USA)
3. SLING BLADE, Billy BobThornton (USA)
2. DEAD MAN, Jim Jarmusch (USA/France)
1. TRAINSPOTTING, Danny Boyle (UK)

Top 20 Directors:

20. BARRY LEVINSON, Sleepers
19. DOUG PRAY, Hype!
17. STEVE BUSCEMI, Trees Lounge
15. ROBERT RODRIGUEZ, From Dusk Till Dawn
14. PETER JACKSON, The Frighteners
13. LARS VON TRIER, Breaking The Waves
11. ANG LEE, Sense And Sensibility
10. TIM BURTON, Mars Attacks!
8. NEIL JORDAN, Michael Collins
6. MILOS FORMAN, The People Vs. Larry Flynt
5. GILLES MIMOUNI, L'Appartement
3. ROBERT LEPAGE, Le Polygraphe
1. DANNY BOYLE, Trainspotting

Top 10 Lead Actors:

10. RON ELDARD, Bastard Out Of Carolina
9. EWAN McGREGOR, Trainspotting
8. WILLIAM HUTT, Long Day's Journey Into Night
7. JOHN TURTURRO, Box Of Moonlight
6. JOHNNY DEPP, Dead Man
5. STEVE BUSCEMI, Trees Lounge
3. WOODY HARRELSON, The People Vs. Larry Flynt

Top 10 Lead Actresses:

10. HELEN HUNT, Twister
9. KATHY BATES, The War At Home
8. OYANKA CABEZAS, Carla's Song
6. VIVIAN WU, The Pillow Book
5. MARTHA HENRY, Long Day's Journey Into Night
4. MARIE BRASSARD, Le Polygraphe
3. CATHERINE KEENER, Walking And Talking
2. EMILY WATSON, Breaking The Waves

Top 15 Supporting Actors:

15. CHEECH MARIN, From Dusk Till Dawn
13. STELLAN SKARSGARD, Breaking The Waves
12. PETE POSTLETHWAITE, Romeo + Juliet
11. JOHN LEGUIZAMO, Romeo + Juliet
10. WILLIAM H. MACY, Fargo
9. ALAN RICKMAN, Sense And Sensibility
8. JOHN RITTER, Sling Blade
6. EDWARD NORTON Primal Fear
5. ROBERT CARLYLE, Trainspotting
4. GARY FARMER, Dead Man
3. KEVIN BACON, Sleepers
2. JON FAVREAU, Swingers
1. SAMUEL L. JACKSON, A Time To Kill

Top 15 Supporting Actresses:

15. SALMA HAYEK, From Dusk Till Dawn
14. KELLY MACDONALD, Trainspotting
13. DIANE VENORA, Romeo + Juliet
12. TÉA LEONI, Flirting With Disaster
11. ASHLEY JUDD, A Time To Kill
10. ANNE HECHE, Walking And Talking
9. KATE WINSLET, Sense And Sensibility
7. FANNY ARDANT, Ridicule
6. JENNIFER CONNELLY, Mulholland Falls
3. CHLOË SEVIGNY, Trees Lounge
2. MARTHA BURNS, Long Day's Journey Into Night
1. COURTNEY LOVE, The People Vs. Larry Flynt

Top 15 Screenplays:

15. SWINGERS, Jon Favreau
13. FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, Quentin Tarantino
12. SECRETS & LIES, Mike Leigh
11. BREAKING THE WAVES, Lars Von Trier & Peter Asmussen
10. THE FIGHTENERS, Fran Walsh & Peter Jackson
9. SLEEPERS, Barry Levinson
8. CRASH, David Cronenberg
7. BOUND, Andy Wachowski & Larry Wachowski
6. FARGO, Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
5. TREES LOUNGE, Steve Buscemi
3. DEAD MAN, Jim Jarmusch
2. LE POLYGRAPHE, Robert Lepage & Marie Brassard
1. SLING BLADE, Billy Bob Thornton

Top 10 Cinematographers:

10. BILL POPE, Bound
9. LLOYD AHERN, Last Man Standing
8. PETER SUSCHITZKY, Mars Attacks!
6. GUILLERMO NAVARRO, From Dusk Till Dawn
5. JOHN BLICK & ALUN BOLINGER, The Frighteners
3. BRIAN TUFANO, Trainspotting
2. DONALD M. McALPINE, Romeo + Juliet

Top 10 Villains:

10. QUENTIN TARANTINO, From Dusk Till Dawn
7. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN, Last Man Standing
6. IGGY POP, Dead Man
5. ROBERT CARLYLE, Trainspotting
4. WOODY HARRELSON, The People Vs. Larry Flynt
3. VINCE VAUGHN, Swingers
2. KEVIN BACON, Sleepers
1. RON ELDARD, Bastard Out Of Carolina

Saturday, September 7, 2013

This Week's Top 10 Songs

Top 10 Songs:

10. EL CUARTO DE TULA, Buena Vista Social Club (1997)
9. DRAG ROPES, Storm Corrosion (2012)
8. DESPAIR, Yeah Yeah Yeahs (2013)
7. LEAVE BEHIND, Martha Wainwright (2012)
6. ALL TIME LOW, Nine Inch Nails (2013)
5. FOUR BLACK SHEEP, Martha Wainwright (2012)
4. GOLD DUST WOMAN (Stevie Nicks cover), Hole (1996)
3. MIND YOUR MANNERS, Pearl Jam (2013)
2. YOUTH WITHOUT YOUTH, Metric (2012)
1. CAME BACK HAUNTED, Nine Inch Nails (2013)

Caitlin Heller's Boyfriend Is Dating A Shameless Idiot

For now, we assume Caitlin Heller is really the girl in the following video, and that she really put it up on YouTube for us all to laugh at:

But because these are the internets, and the series of tubes have fooled us before, we will assume at a 25% level that it could be her boyfriend (or ex), or roommate, or even an enemy who put it online; we'll know for sure in a year, when she has committed suicide - or not.

''She'' is quoted as saying:
I tried making a sexy twerk video for my boyfriend and things got a little too hot :)
WOW! Didn't expect all this attention. I'm fine. Just a little embarrassed!! THX!!

Friday, September 6, 2013

Video Of The Week: The Mahones

I had a few options this week, including some visually-poignant pieces, but decided I'd go for The Mahones' The King Of Copenhagen because I listened to their CD a lot this week, and they released the video today.

It consists entirely of fan footage from their most recent European tour, which makes for a low-budget, fan-friendly piece that also manages to capture the band's live energy. The video focuses a lot on accordionist Katie Kaboom, but that is understandable, because she is at the forefront, always energetic, intense, twisting in various positions, sexy as hell, and married to bandleader Finny McConnell.

I might have appreciated it a tad more if they'd tried a tad harder to put images of Finny singing while vocals are being sung, and band footage when they're not, to give the illusion that it could be sung in concordance with the images, but the fact that it isn't just means you have to watch it twice - once to look at the band's show (and Kaboom), and once more to listen to the song you vaguely recollect from your first go at it. Come to think of it, that's an amazing ploy to double their YouTube hits...

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Fan: Short For ''Fanatic''

I like San Franciso 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick  as much as the proverbial next guy... except if that guy is this guy:

Just... wow. So much to say. From ''eyes on the back of his head'', to ''kudos to the barber'', to ''why put a man with so much facial hait on the head you're having shaved - you're going through more trouble than he is!''

Also, if you don't get the reference to ''the Stick'', Candlestick Park, once the home of the San Francisco Giants, is entering its final season as the home of the 49ers. In an oddity relatively prevalent in this economy-driven/fan-and-tradition-ignoring era, their new stadium - Levi's Stadium, ''The Field Of Jeans'' (no I didn't make that shit up) - will actually be 40 miles outside of San Fransisco, in Santa Clara. Because everyone loves going to the suburbs for their entertainment*, right?

*Ask the NHL's twice-bankrupt Phoenix Coyotes playing in Glendale, or the equally-twice bankrupt Ottawa Senators operating in the middle of nowhere in Kanata...

Scent Of A Woman

There's weird, then there's just plain bizarre.

First, watch this hilarious video, then I'll explain the premise:

Le premier parfum à l'odeur de vagin : Vulva by Spi0n

So, their website claims:
VULVA Original is not a perfume but the real erotic scent of a woman.
 Which they put in a glass vial.
This long lasting scent will awaken the erotic fantasy that lay deep in your mind.
With a quick swipe of the roll-on applicator your fantasies will be indulged with not only the memories of an exotic, aroused woman, but also her musky vaginal scent. Only a small drop is needed to make it last for hours...
Smell like post-sex for hours, without having had sex. It's win-win, really, if you can't get anything else.

Or if you want ta make your woman uselessly jealous. Of ride on public transit pretending to be a womanizer in the hopes that other females might be attracted to ''the stench of your success''.

It's only $33 a vial, or 3-for-$85. If it does, indeed, carry actual ladies' juices, collected a drop at a time, then it's well worth it. They also offer a vial+panty pack ($91) if you want to heighten your level of pretend to pretentious new heights...

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Lost Then Found: Police Need Your Help

Ontario Provincial Police need your help!

They feel there may be a link to the theft of garden gnomes in the past year to the 56 that were found at a water treatment plant in Parry Sound...

Small-town problems...

And yet:
As the investigation continues, police are seeking the public’s assistance to find the person(s) responsible. Anyone with information relating to these gnomes is asked to contact OPP at 1-888-310-1122.
These now-victimless crimes (assuming these are the stolen gnomes now found) are in need of some good ol' fashioned Justice. Hopefully there'll also be a telethon.

Party Like It's 1986

One man grew tired of his children rather than have human contacts and decided he'd punish his whole entourage for it - by reverting his family back to the year he and his girlfriend were born, 1986.

Gone are the iPhones, iPads, Blu-rays, cell phones, GPS devices, the internet...  back are the old Nintendo Entertainment System (and the original Super Mario Bros. game), encyclopedias, paper maps, playing outside...

Blair McMillan even lost his job for not having a cell phone and instead preferring one-on-one interactions. Though he probably would also have lost it when his client would have seen his fucking mullet and mustache.

In the name of all that is sacred, I do hope this one-year experiment doesn't go any further. Imagine his poor girlfriend, if they decide to continue living like this for, say, 5 more years, then splits up with him... imagine how lost she'll be in all the ever-evolving technology.

If a catastrophic event occurs and all technology is rendered useless, and everyone has to revert to hunting and gathering, then, fine, we're all on the same playing field. But purposely foregoing to accept the future in a feeble attempt to get in touch with your roots only works a little bit, and only in organized circles - like the Amish. Or the homeless. Past a certain point, it just becomes purposely holding up and restraining your loved ones' progress. It's kidnapping.

I kid, I kid...

Sarah Palin Vs Syria

Ever the genius (and craving media attention), Sarah Palin took to Facebook to voice her opinion about the U.S. possibly taking action in Syria, in a post called Let Allah Sort It Out:
“So we’re bombing Syria because Syria is bombing Syria? And I’m the idiot?”
 Well, Mrs Palin, if you put it that way, then, yes, you truly are.

Which doesn't mean I support a military intervention. At the most, I think the capitol building in Damascus should be destroyed, as well as other key government decision-making places and perhaps a few army buildings. Take away their permanent locations so they have trouble orchestrating dangerous maneuvers against outsiders and mass quantities of their own people.

However, I am against an occupational invasion (as always), and even a single civilian death or the destruction of anyone's home is unacceptable. Let's not forget we're talking about one of the oldest continuously-inhabited cities in the world, home to 2.5 million people.

This particular revolution is (yet another) previously-unseen situation, two years in the making: in the wake of the Arab Spring, millions of Syrians took to the streets in 2011 to protest against the government, which not only stayed in power defying its citizens' will, but effectively ordered its troops to shoot at protesters with live ammunition, even going so far as to go door-to-door to find some and execute them.

What started as a peaceful protest turned into a Civil War in the Fall of 2011, when army defectors started a counter-army (Free Syrian Army) and enlisted volunteers to join their ranks.

In terms of a Revolution, this one was ''going by the book''; ideally, you want to skip the armed conflict, but humans are prone to violence, and not everyone can achieve a ''peace process'' without resorting to guns - for every Slovakia there are dozens of Chechnyas. Even the Chinese went to war to unite; the United States revolted against the British to form several states, then went to war with each other to unite (and eliminate slavery).

But this one took so long to bear its fruits that the inevitable (for the region) happened: ''terrorists'' started helping revolutionaries. So instead of remaining a battle between ''good and evil'', it's ''the enemy of my enemy is my friend''. And while the world watches in horror as the State uses deadlier weapons against its own people every time, pressure is mounting on the U.S. to intervene, as the world's largest military structure.

Except the U.S. has already invaded two countries - one in a disproportionate retaliation, the other without a valid reason other than to depose its leader and take over their economy - in the past decade or so, now have a President who has vowed to not repeat his predecessor's mistakes, and - more importantly - would now be working hand-in-hand with some of their enemies to defeat Bashar al-Assad.

Which puts Barack Obama in a hard place.

Already labeled weak by his opponents, he is now forced to play into the Republicans' hand, who win on all sides: if he forgoes intervention, he's ''soft on terror''; if he decides to act, he's reneging on his promises - and going opposite his Nobel Peace prize - and ''working with the terrorists''. Which is likely just what some forces in the Middle East wanted to test him on. The United States remain the military equivalent of boxing's heavyweight champion - to get him on his knees even by means of an illegal blow is a feat worth bragging about, and to have him withdraw from combat even more so.

What's funny about Sarah Palin is she was probably explained all of this but didn't understand a thing, other than the conclusion: ''you mean to say I can still say the exact opposite of what Obama says, and this time I'd even be right? Bring me a laptop!''

Ironically, one of Obama's most ardent allies on this issue now is John McCain, the man responsible for giving Palin her platform. After toying with the idea of not supporting Obama on this matter, he had this to say this morning:
A rejection of this resolution would be catastrophic, not just for him but for the institution of the presidency and the credibility of the United States.
Ever the politician, he realizes image counts for a lot, particularly when it comes to pretending to have the means to take over the world.

Which is also the reason why everyone else on the planet is against a strike.

Monday, September 2, 2013

It's Summer In Saiyan

Toledo police have released this surveillance footage, probably because no one was able to catch this crazy woman's licence plate:

It started innocently enough: she really wanted Chicken McNuggets. Really. Intensely. As if her life depended on it, I guess.

Then she blew a gasket and went apeshit. And, to a certain extent, that's cool too. I mean everyone loves Falling Down, perhaps Michael Douglas' good best film. It's when she turns into the Hulk that it goes overboard. Well, when she realizes she can't turn into the Hulk - or as she calls it super saiyan, so when she realizes, perhaps for the first time in her life, that she is not a Dragon Ball character - then she has to throw something to break the teller's window. Good thing she didn't have a gun.

I do not miss working in Customer Service.

Teemu Selanne's Announcement

Arguable the best Finnish hockey player of all time (certainly the most durable), Teemu Selanne had an announcement to make, and he did so by acting in, writing and direcing this funny short:

He may not be the best golfer around (though he claims to have been ''acting bad'' when he's actually pretty good), but he sure has more skills than whoever was involved in making the fifth Die Hard movie... I hope Hollywood's taking notes...