Thursday, December 31, 2015

At Year's End

Everybody wants a great Christmas or New Year's story - the emotional kiss goodbye, the romantic kiss hello at a landmark, seeing long-gone friends or family members for the first time in years, new beginnings... the works.

And those who are lonely just feel lonelier, particularly if they happen to fall upon Holiday movies, which are usually centered around people finding others they connect with. Worldwide, the Holidays are the most common time of the year for suicides.

I don't have a dog in either race (that I know of), though I know people who will live those types of situations. I was just making the most out of the extended fall season when winter came back with a vengeance.

I usually live my life on the levels - a two-year plan for the ''big decisions'' (job, place to live, things relating to comfort level versus the problems that come with them), and a minute-to-minute reaction to everything else, which at times can involve big decisions (breakups, where friendships are going) but are mostly just paths, left or right, yes or no and the like.

Mid-term plans aren't usually my thing, which is why I'm not a fan of purchasing show tickets months ahead of time, because I'll forget and remember it's taking place at least a dozen times. The Holidays have that for me in droves, planning to go see my family here and there yet forgetting what day of the week we're at when I wake up in the morning (or afternoon, as was the case for the past few days). ''Yeah, let's meet on the 31st''... then ''oh shit, we're the 31st?'' and having ten minutes to do what I thought I would have three days to do them.

I've been putting off going to the grocery store for over a week now. But I watched all of The Boondocks, though... Netflix and sleep.

As I'm writing this, I realize I'm five days away from going back to work, 9 to 5, staring down an abyss of numbers that don't mean anything, listening to some Robert Schimmel CDs. I wish I could hibernate.

2015 was a year. It wasn't all bad (like, say, 2012), but it wasn't spectacularly nice. It had its moments; I had some good times, a few people made me smile a lot, I laughed, I cried. It would have made a terrible B-movie, or a great one if a character actor (John Turturro, Samuel L. Jackson, Paul Giamatti) played me better than I did.

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