The Ever-Quotable Lou Reed

Remember when Lou Reed said his album with Metallica was the best thing ever created? It turns out most people don't agree; some actually feel it's the worst thing ever made. My favourite quote is from a user named lainso:

It made me want to illegally download it, then not listen to it.

Some Metallica fans want to go even further: Reed was told a few of them wanted to kill him:

[They] are threatening to shoot me, and that’s only because I showed up,” Reed said. “They haven’t even heard the record yet, and they’re recommending various forms of torture and death.

Then again, while Rolling Stone gave the record 3/5 stars, their readers gave it a 1; NME went as far as giving it a 7/10; but most sites seem to agree with the line of thought displayed by Pitchfork: 1/10.

Daniel Snyder from The Atlantic even longs for the days when Metallica was at its best merely selling out. Ouch.

Looks like Reed made another Metal Machine Music - only this time, it wasn't intentionally unlistenable.

By the way, I give it a 3/10, myself. And I loved Metal Machine Music.

I Wonder How Lou Reed Feels About His Work With Metallica

Let's start from the start, as Loverboy would say.

Lou Reed, a legend in his own right - and perhaps an even larger one in his own mind - decided to take two German plays from the early 1900s and re-conceptualize them as a rock opera/musical of sorts called Lulu, and then enlisted Metallica as his backing band for the project.

Yes, the still-loved Reed (despite so-so albums based on the works of Edgar Allan Poe and live shows that piss off casual listeners and fans alike) has joined forces with the much-maligned/old-fans-hate-them Metallica for, essentially, an art project.

I for one, am confident it'll work, and not just because Reed's lyrics made both Kirk Hammet and James Hetfield cry. But I'm not as convinced as The Lou himself, who claims:

It’s maybe the best thing done by anyone, ever. It could create another planetary system. I’m not joking, and I’m not being egotistical.

Find out in November.

Video Of The Week: Metallica

Sure, I hate Metallica as much as is humanly possible, but there is no denying the so-called ''Black Album'' is an important piece of rock history, and of all the songs on it, The Unforgiven is probably its masterpiece.

Like Led Zeppelin's Stairway To Heaven - often hailed as the best song of all time - each of its parts fits the others perfectly, yet the song could still be perfect if you removed any of them but wouldn't benefit from anything being added to it. And just like Stairway, the solo is long but tasteful, melodic, and fits the song well.

But writing this good a song doesn't stop the Metallickers from being complete douchebags who would sue their own fans and mistreat their own band members (first see Dave Mustaine, then see Jason Newsted). And they not only made one sequel to this song, but also another. I mean, come on. For fuck's sake...

And I'm aware this track dates back to 1991, but it ranks among the immortals, so years don't matter. Plus, this is the rare extended (''theatrical'') version - the song actually starts at 5:16 if you want to skip the story:

Watch it here, because Metallica are such big assholes that they don't allow their videos to be embedded.

Fuck Authority! Wait, I'm The Authority!

File this under whatever you like:

1. Things that happen only in Boston
2. Metallica brings out the rebel in anyone
3. Another cop being a shitty human being
4. Cops go lightly on criminal cop - again

Either way, this story has its moments.

An off-duty police officer at a Metallica concert thought it would be a good idea to get R. Kelly on another fan's head and provide him with a golden shower. Yes, he peed on him.

Presumably, the piss recipient was not pleased, as the policeman was arrested for his actions. During the arrest, Joseph Houston, the cop, tried to use the “But I’m a cop!” routine, and it didn't quite work.

Now, if it had been me urinating on someone else, I'd be accused of disorderly conduct, assault, exhibitionism, public nudity, and maybe even resisting arrest. What Houston got was an accusation of ''trespassing'' (seriously, what the fuck?) and PAID LEAVE while the story blows over. Makes sense, yeah.

I've said it time and time again, and I'll keep repeating it until it gets in their stupid heads and they react accordingly: I come from a family of cops and military men. Stand Up Guys who did the Right Thing because it was the only thing to do, because if you can't trust the Uniformed Men to uphold the law with higher moral standards than anyone else, the institution they represent loses its credibility.

When something like this happens, the cops shouldn't protect the asshole, they should get him into court and try him as they would anyone else; and when the sentence comes, it should be double what anyone else would receive - one time for the crime, one time for betraying the institution and the public they should be serving.

This would achieve two goals at once: 1. it would keep the weak-hearted and criminally-bent from even thinking of applying for a Service job, and 2. it would help restore the public's faith in an institution that has seemed to be more vile and wrong than even the mob for the past 40 years, with each passing day bringing a new news story of abuse of power, corruption, criminal activity and/or bad decision-making.

You wear the suit, you are responsible for living accordingly - with respect for your fellow citizens, The Law, and the society you're living in. If not, we're no better than banana republic police states - and that would mean that, once in a while, a good riot would be in order, with deaths on all sides and maybe even some politicians' heads getting chopped off.

And we don't really want that, now, do we?

2008 In Music

Is it just me, or was 2008 one of the worst years in music history? Not that it was as cheesy as 1984 (think '80s' without a record by GN'R or Michael Jackson or Prince - no balls at all) , mind you, but nothing really stood out in terms of records, albums...

Coldplay were the year's best-selling band, clocking in at well under 5 million copies sold worldwide, combining both online sales and physical CDs... a poor number by any standards.

Madonna, Britney Spears and Pink are back, sort of. Again. With half their records, at least, being utter blandness. And the rest not breaking any sort of ground either.

Spin magazine named Metallica and Guns N'Roses in their top 15, yet placed The Raconteurs at #46... so I know for a fact they've gone mad, because The Raconteurs' record was a solid piece of rock while Metallica's opus, even if it recaptures some of their past sounds and sentiments, is nowhere near anything they've done before, and should not be on anyone's list of tops of nothing (it's also too good to be on a list of shitty records, I'll admit that much). GN'R, on the other hand, could make a list of the year's worst, and likely did mine, with only one song, Madagascar, good enough to make the grade (as the worst song, perhaps) on any of their previous records, and the rest was just some overproduced crap that I got bored of after no more than three listens.

There seems to be a lot of decent independent releases, some only on vinyl, this year, but there were so many that it was hard to keep count. Looking at many of my friends' Top Of '08 lists, I found many acts I had never heard of before, and very few that were repeated from one person to the next, so either they were all trying to one-up one another in the 'oscure reference' department, or many starving artists who have only sold/given 5 copies of their stuff have made very good music.

At least there were memorable singles. The song of the year, without a doubt, was I Kissed A Girl, by Katy Perry. No contest. It was everywhere, it took longer than any other song to get tired of, it was sung by a hottie, and didn't just use a fashionable beat that we'll get tired of within year's end to bring its groove home, unlike, say, anything by Lady Gaga, who also takes the prize of worst name.

My choice for #2 single of the year is the theme from the latest James Bond flick, Another Way To Die, by Jack White and Alicia Keys. Many will disagree with this choice, as most people I've talked about this song to didn't like it; only actual musicians did. It's got everything you could want from a Bond song, from the fast breaks to the lush phrasing, but they added a sense of satire when bringing in the orchestral parts where it fits so well in the song that you could never fathom the song being without it, but at the same time seems like they're making fun of every past Bond song. It's really a pleasure to listen to.

Thirdly, I'll put a Coldplay song because it wasn't annoying, surprisingly, and the drum beats were quite penetrating. And, no, I'm not talking about the yawnfest that Viva La Vida was, I'm talking about the exact same song but with soul, the one they titled Violet Hill. Like Green Day, Goo Goo Dolls and Nickelback before them (and many others even further back), Coldplay have etched out a career for themselves by re-writing the same song over and over again, barely changing anything in the process, but actually making the more recent version a little more tolerable than the last (although since Viva came out after Violet, I guess they'll be regressing now).

The Raveonettes never get their due respect. Hopefully, the sounds of Aly, Walk With Me will keep rolling for them in '09; they sure deserve it.

And to round out my Top 5, Radio Radio may not have made a dent in the worldwide electro-hip-hop scene, but they made a killing here in Québec with their originality and humour. It's like as if the Beastie Boys meant something again. Cliché Hot, the title track to their CD, was on most stations' playlists and got them into a slot at Pop Montreal, but Jaccuzzi is the song that had more of everything they do right.

Top Singles Of 2008
1. I Kissed A Girl, Katy Perry
2. Another Way To Die, Jack White and Alicia Keys
3. Violet Hill, Coldplay
4. Aly, Walk With Me, The Raveonettes
5. Jaccuzzi, Radio Radio
6. Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It, Ice Cube
7. Rich Kid Blues, The Raconteurs
8. We Call Upon The Author, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
9. Gamma Ray, Beck
10. Nine In The Afternoon, Panic At The Disco

Top Live Shows Of 2008
1. Eddie Vedder, Place-Des-Arts, summer
2. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, Metropolis, October 2nd
3. The Nevers, UnPop Montréal, The Pound, December 6th
4. Might, UnPop Montréal, Cagibi, December 4th
5. The Raconteurs, Metropolis, summer
6. Madonna, Centre Bell, fall
7. Radiohead, Parc Jean-Drapeau, summer
8. Eagles Of Death Metal, late fall
9. Coeur De Pirate, Laval, late fall
10. Sébastian Hell, Montréal Chose, Cagibi, April 27th (hey, it was a slow year, and I rocked!)

Top Albums of 2008:
1. TV On The Radio, Dear Science
2. Wolf Parade, At Mount Zoomer
3. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, Dig! Lazarus! Dig!
4. Amanda Palmer, Who Killed Amanda Palmer
5. The Raconteurs, Consolers Of The Lonely
6. Coeur De Pirate, Coeur De Pirate
7. The Kills, Midnight Boom
8. The Raveonettes, Lust, Lust, Lust
9. The Nevers, single
10. Ice Cube, Raw Footage
11. Nine Inch Nails, The Slip
12. The Black Keys, Attack & Release
13. T-Bone Burnett, Tooth of Crime
14. Beck, Modern Guilt
15. AC/DC, Black Ice

Biggest Shits (in no particular order): Tam, Guns' Chinese Democracy, Nickelback released the worst record of the year for the fourth (?) time, rap had little to offer of consequence - and the major labels seem to have died - good riddance.