Open Letter To Men

Guys. Dicks, obviously.

Those who act like dicks, anyway. We're fed up with your shit. And by we, sure, I can easily mean the 85% of the population that isn't you. But I mean ''we'' more specifically as well, as in ''those of us men who aren't fucking assholes''.

I'm not an idiot. I know places like 4chan are just a haven for dumb bullying, bravado, and one-upping one another on the ''hardest'' shit one can come up with, and most of it is posturing and done in ''trolling good fun''.

Most people do.

Did.

What the fuck, man?

Do you really need to cross the line every fucking time? You do realize that by doing that, while you're masturbating in your parents' basements about making girls cry or whatever it is that turns you on in that shit, you're lumping the rest of us in your stupidity?

When the story about a girl getting into a fight with a guy who was too drunk and horny and didn't take ''no'' for an answer at my favourite bar (Casa Del Popolo) broke last week, I tried telling people to take a deep breath, assess the situation, not lump all their shit together into one, too easy issue, especially when some of them were making associations with Roosh V being in town recently and linking them, as if a drunk person needed inspiration to be rowdy and out of bounds and/or antagonizers needed inspiration for their bullshit.

The girl's speech was bordering too much on the ''all guys are assholes'' terrain, reminiscent of shitty after-school specials where a guy would typically become a racist and hate all black people because of one asshole who probably deservedly stole his girlfriend. Or whatever - you know the cliché.

But you fucking fuckers.

You motherfucking cock-brained idiots had to go and add fuel to the fucking fire.

And now you've got her pissed off, blind with rage and disappointment in mankind, and she has a fucking platform and people's attention to say things like:

''We do need to look at the comments. They are representative of the darkest corners of humanity that exist beyond the internet. People need to know this is real. These are real people walking around in our daily lives; the guy sitting next to you on the metro, the person you call for your internet tech support, the branch manager at your bank. It could be that cute boy you have a crush on in your class, or that self-proclaimed “nice guy” you just started dating. These are real people typing these things on their keyboards and they represent our real-life problems regarding violence against women.''

And it doesn't come from a bad place. She's wrong to lump all of us with you assholes, and hopefully she will see that in time - but you brought it on us. And in the meantime, that's a message that's getting attention. That's going to fuck the world we all (men, women, boys, girls, whatever lies in between and encompasses both) live in for a little while, because you fuckers couldn't stop yourselves from piling it on ON A FUCKING KID.

Okay, now to the rest of us who aren't worse than cancer and AIDS put together:

I've said it before and I'll say it again: at this point, I'm not certain our society can be repaired and sort itself out the way it is. If tomorrow, everyone had the same rights, same wages for the same jobs, same advantages, no more race or gender or anything, it wouldn't be enough because many feel they've been wronged for too long that equality isn't enough. And I don't blame them, though that'll be the subject of another - probably much longer - post. But the solution lies with starting anew. New or no borders, new or no systems, new or no laws. Simplification, not more loopholes: don't mess with others or their shit.

In the grand scheme of things, many have been wronged and most Peoples are a victim of something, of someone, at least in their narrative. Except probably the British and their direct descendants.

In the girl's fight last week, she witnessed a guy hitting on too many women, then herself, and concluded he was a ''pick-up artist'' and decided he deserved to have a drink poured on him to make him stop. She still feels this was fair punishment, while I tend to want to use the same weapons for attack as defense, that's fine, it didn't harm anyone physically and got her point across.

He then allegedly choked her, after which she broke a pint of beer (glass) over his head, making him bleed profusely.

I feel this escalated way too quickly, for one, and the dude did, indeed go way overboard by initiating physical contact, and she slit his head open, which is deserved retaliation at this point.

This was a fight.

I wasn't there, but from those details, which are from her exact deposition and account of the event, that's all it was. A disagreement that turned physical, because a guy went overboard and a girl reacted.

Grand scheme of things? Misogyny? I don't see it. I see a system that isn't working for women, that isn't equal though it's written to be, I see more men with loud voices getting their message(s) across than women and some of them do not treat women with respect (though I see - slow - progress in pop culture diversification though much of it seems contrived and doesn't necessarily always fit the proper narrative); we're in a ''freedom of speech'' society where, if it's done within certain boundaries and not inciting to behaviour, this is acceptable - BOTH WAYS. Person A can be an ass, Person B can call them out for it. Person A is allowed to think a certain way, Person B is allowed to fully disagree.

We do need to grow the fuck up as a species. Not just be civilized, that's a given - and shit, when some people are, it's so rare nowadays that it makes the fucking news -  but also, get rid of our persecution complex.

We're in 2015. You are bigger than your skin colour, your race, your sexual orientation, your gender, your preferences, your tastes. YOU HAVE AN IDENTITY. YOU ARE ONE. You do not need to represent anyone other than yourself, we're aware of most of what's out there, we're fine with it, count your vote as your own.

I may love you for who you are; why can't I hate you for who you are?

Do you know WHY 4chan fuckers say the things they say? Because they know words can destroy you, when, really, they shouldn't. LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND ASK YOURSELF WHO YOU ARE. When in doubt, ask folks around you. What defines you?

If something that can come out of someone with Tourette's mouth can ruin your day, you're fucked.

You're allowed to have off days, days where the slightest thing will break you down, yes; but you can't be like that every day. You need to rise and stand up so we can rise with you. Life isn't an individual sport, it's a team fucking effort, and in it, we're allowed to have as many teammates as we want or need. You don't have to choose to reject everyone for a few fuckers, and you shouldn't live your life with the fear or impression that they lurk underneath the skin of everyone you meet; you'll only be hurting yourself and stopping yourself from fucking feeling things, and if you can't feel a thing, what's the point in being alive?

You defended yourself when he was choking you, didn't you? Ergo, you had a will to live, and a will to fight for what seemed right. Come back on the team, or let us join yours.

Trust me, there are bigger canyons to cross ahead - like the one where even really good people make really bad fucking mistakes once in a while. Not every murderer is a criminal, and not every criminal is a ''bad'' person. And few of the most clean-cut are as perfect as they seem. Again, regardless of gender, race, religion or tolerance to lactose.

Julian Edelman: Totally Fucked?

NEVER READ THE COMMENTS SECTION. I fail to abide by this rule, pretty much daily.

In the case of this non-news where a reportedly single football star (Julian Edelman) who may or may not be romantically involved with a model (Olivia Frischer, though they are not married) seen in a post-sex selfie, sleeping, with Boston-area girl Sabrina Dudish bragging about it via her Tinder profile icebreaker:

The internet went all mean and all-out on her, calling her the nastiest things, ''whore'' and ''slut'' among the most common - and nicest. One Massachussets bar owner banned her from his establishments - noting he had never done so about anyone else before. That's right: murderers and rapists, politicians, crooked cops, terrorists, kidnappers and wife beaters (three of those may apply to NFL players) are fine, but not Sabrina Dudish. Also, that misogynistic asshole (Michael Winter) went as far as to rate her a ''5'', I guess because if she'd have been a ''10'' it wouldn't have been the same? I'm fairly certain a lot of his bars are full of ''8s'' going to hotel rooms with married athletes (and married men in general), but somehow he's totally cool with that. Unless I'm missing the story about his bars being ''No Hookup'' establishments...

Again: a single woman bragging about fucking a single man, not destroying his family or public life. This is called slut-shaming, though we really need a better term, because nothing here actually proves her to be a slut. She's had to shut down most of her social media accounts because of the backlash, but forgot about her MySpace, so there are pictures of her looking a little too young making the rounds that some folks are searching for and staring at...

Guys are rarely judged by the amount of women they bang, unless it's negatively for not having had enough (''Oh, just 10? Sorry.''), but girls have to be virgin prudes, right? Then who would the guys be fucking?

My only interrogation with this is that she used it on her Tinder profile, meaning she's using it to lure men into contacting her to meet up. As a musician and former athlete, I understand there's an aura around going after men who've had many conquests, and there are plenty of Psychology 101 reasons for that, but I'm not certain it goes both ways: I fail to see how this one woman thinks sleeping with a man who has slept with hundreds of women makes her look attractive. But I guess that's the feminist in me, where I'm not slut-shaming her, but him instead. (I guess that's Psychology 102).

I guess that's the day and age we're in, though, right? Instant celebrity and a global network that renders your most stupid decision of the day a permanent fixture on the interwebs, for generations to marvel at. Like all those idiots from Florida. Paris Hilton showed the world (well, North America, anyway) that a complete dunce could market herself by just exposing herself to the masses, and they'll not only follow but want to join in. We're way past the Decline of Western Civilization, we're going for rock bottom.

Video Of The Week: Babes In Toyland

It was hard to find a video this week. I hesitated a lot. Today was the 25th ''anniversary'' of the Polytechnique killing, where one man murdered 14 women in a higher-education school in Montréal, in 1989. Because they were women, because he couldn't stand Equality.

Geneviève Bergeron (born in 1968), student in civil engineering.
Hélène Colgan (born in 1966), student in mechanical engineering.
Nathalie Croteau (born in 1966), student in mechanical engineering.
Barbara Daigneault (born in 1967), student in mechanical engineering.
Anne-Marie Edward (born in 1968), student in chemical engineering.
Maud Haviernick (born in 1960), student in materials engineering.
Barbara Klucznik-Widajewicz (born in 1958), student nurse.
Maryse Laganière (born in 1964), school financial employee.
Maryse Leclair (born in 1966), student in materials engineering.
Anne-Marie Lemay (born in 1967), student in mechanical engineering.
Sonia Pelletier (born in 1961), student in mechanical engineering.
Michèle Richard (born in 1968), student in materials engineering.
Annie St-Arneault (born in 1966), student in mechanical engineering.
Annie Turcotte (born in 1969), student in materials engineering.

Fourteen women, most of which were to become engineers. Probably a lot of them would have been mothers. All with lives, families. In their 20s or early 30s. With some amount of time left to impact our society.

I tried to go with a soft song, something soothing. I thought of something political, with a direct message, clear.

But here's the thing, the way I look at it: 1989 in Montréal wasn't so bad in terms of equality, and it got better for a decade to include just about everyone by the turn of the millennium. BY LAW, and by obligation, on all fronts. In terms of rights and equality, not many had actual complaints, apart that things were slow at times (same-sex marriage eventually passed, and though pay equality was passed as law in the early-to-mid-90s, it still hasn't been made into effect completely even in government).

But it's been downhill for the last decade, so much so that 2014 feels like 1944, and it's like our parents' social gains from the 1960s and 1970s were for naught. And it didn't take a step back in more comfort to compensate for the loss of rights; equality was just stolen and wiped away.

And instead of looking at the bigger picture, everyone is just fighting their own little fight, looking at their own situation, trying to stop it from regressing too much (''I don't wanna pay fare on a bridge'' / ''the SAQ - i.e. voluntary tax on alcohol - is too expensive'') - but our whole social net is being taken away every day. Women's rights are under attack every day at the Federal level, with ''private bills'' regulating women's own bodies introduced my MPs narrowly defeated thus far but gaining support and traction, particularly in the places with the hundreds of missing and possibly murdered women, aboriginal and otherwise. (And every time I write or read a single sentence about these women, I think of the violence I witnessed in Winnipeg, and the bodies alongside the highways from Manitoba to Alberta, with vomit in my mouth and chills in my spine).

The government should be there to provide or at least help with 4 things when they take half our money from our pay cheques and 15% more on each purchase we make: health, education, infrastructure, and protecting (ALL) individuals' rights. If they can't, we don't need them and should be able to do what we see fit with that 65% of our money given back to us.

As usual, I digress.

The point is women's rights have stepped the fuck back way too much in the past decade, with the redneck-ification of North America. Anti-feminism and racism are back to levels I once thought would never be seen again - particularly the under-handed attempt at making women feel like lesser beings.

Granted, I see a lot of self-pity and victimization coming from their side, stuff I don't see or hear about when researching or talking to folks from the 1960s and 1970s - but a lot of it is warranted, and some of it seems like a crouch before delivering an uppercut. Or so I hope.

There is no reason in this day and age, on this continent - heck, on this side of both oceans - to not have human beings be equal in every single aspect of life. It goes for gender, it goes for lifestyle, it goes for race, it goes for tastes. As long as you're not impeding on someone else's rights, a human being shouldn't be bothered, attacked, or denied anything they have the right to have (food, shelter, respect, well-being, defining their relationship - or not - health care).

And so I went with Babes In Toyland, the punk band from Minnesota who fused feminism, punk rock and selling records the best, in my opinion, and with Bruise Violet in particular because it's from their superb 1992 record Fontanelle, co-produced by Sonic Youth's Lee Ranaldo, and mixed by Skinny Puppy's Dave Ogilvie:



The song itself is less punk and grungier than some of their other stuff, but that's 1992 for you.

Tiny Super Heroines

I thought I'd mention this site today, whose address is Better Supes but whose official name is Little Girls R Better At Designing Heroes Than You, because I like the thought process that went behind it: superheroes drawn based on pictures sent in of little girls wearing costumes.

It negates the need, desire and tendency to add unnecessary boobage, cleavage and under-dressing those who would hypothetically save our measly lives. The only quip I have is that they ed up looking a bit like generic comic teens (i.e. default lack of boobage because too young to have them):

But there were instances where the end result was nothing short of spectacular, including one ''evil doctor'' I encourage you to seek out on their site. My personal favourite is this one:

The initial drawing is exactly like the picture, so it really is that girl, and you can really see her giving it her all for whatever cause she wishes to defend or attack; the added 8-bit Castlevania-like video game character design is just added fun.

Big fan of the Pink Knight.

WOMEN!

More often than not, I end my day having thought ''we really haven't evolved much since the 1950s'' in regards to sexism, gender equality and the like.

But once a week, I fall on old ads like this one that make me think ''oh, riiiiight'':

I mean, shit, when you put it that way, no, I'm sure she doesn't want her flaps stinking like an old kipper.

Which isn't to say we've arrived, either. As a matter of fact, I'm fairly certain we were closer to the goal in the mid-to-late 1990s than we are now.

Somewhere along the line, between putting George W. Bush in the white house as a President you'd rather ''have a beer with'' than have ''be smarter than you'', the rise of men's magazines like Maxim who may have been sarcastic when they captioned their almost-nude models' pictures but whose readership was too dumb for a second degree thought to ever emerge from their brains, and the Rise Of Redneck Culture (guns, Southern accents, pulled pork and barbecue, wrestling, wife beaters, Larry The Cable Guy, hating brown people instead of blacks being treated like ''acceptable racism'', Kid Rock, and reality TV shows glorifying child beauty pageants, dysfunctional families or junk resellers) as a whole did nothing but bring society back to at least the early 1980s.

And the Conservatives in general (and Republicans in particular) hyping up the 1950s as if the Cold War, segregation and women at home were ideals worth going back to, and pounding their message on their own infomercial network (Fox News) have done nothing to deter from dangerously falling behind again. In fact, they strongly encourage it.

Perhaps a few of them even have stock in Lux kebab soaps.

Today's Sign Of Our Civilization's Imminent Demise

An all-male court in Iowa - its Supreme Court, no less - ruled that an employer (read: ''man'') can fire an employee (read: ''woman'') for being ''irresistible''. Not just that - it was a unanimous, 7-0 decision.

Key highlights from the article:

Such firings may be unfair, but they are not unlawful discrimination under the Iowa Civil Rights Act because they are motivated by feelings and emotions, not gender, Justice Edward Mansfield wrote.

and

"These judges sent a message to Iowa women that they don't think men can be held responsible for their sexual desires and that Iowa women are the ones who have to monitor and control their bosses' sexual desires," said (victim Melissa Nelson's) attorney Paige Fiedler. "If they get out of hand, then the women can be legally fired for it."

Nelson, 32, worked for Knight for 10 years, and he considered her a stellar worker. But in the final months of her employment, he complained that her tight clothing was distracting, once telling her that if his pants were bulging that was a sign her clothes were too revealing, according to the opinion.

He also once allegedly remarked about her infrequent sex life by saying, "that's like having a Lamborghini in the garage and never driving it."

That's right - he can say things that are close to sexual harassment, which she has to endure, but she can't keep her job because she's too sexy.

How did we go from the 1990s where things were looking up for common sense and liberties to a bizarro-1950s of extra-puritanism, new racism, the rise of religious zealots, tons of guns and daily shootings?

I mean, I know the answer. Watch and listen to Dennis Miller before, say, the year 2000, and then look for something post 9/11 - two completely different guys. Many Americans changed on that day, their fear and anger turning them into cro-mags and uneducated retrogrades. Not all, but the percentage of rednecks went from 10% to something close to 47% of the country. Which can only mean one thing: the terrorists have, indeed, won.

Binders Full Of Women

I'm sure Ann Romney must facepalm herself at least ten times a day, unless she's just enraged at how dumb her husband is.

At least his recent quip about ''binders full of women'' has created so much rage that many websites came a-birthing, including this photoblog.

Here's a hit (hopefully you get the Big Lebowski reference):

At least he sounds like the real Mitt Romney again... speaking of which...

Video Of The (Upcoming) Week: Albert

Albert is 6 years old - don't get me started on child stars and how fucked up they become - check Macaulay Culkin (USA) and Jordy (France) for proof - and, at age six, is already a playa. He hangs around in pools surrounded by bikini-clad chicks shaking their asses and wants them to ''Booty Pop'' their way into his cheesy YouTube videos. He is well on his way to Bang Bros and Bang Bus...

And his life will probably end up ruined because he'll never escape the public personae he displayed before even finishing first grade.



Oh, and he's from South Florida and claims to be ''the baddest boy in town'', which probably explains why the chicks ditched the legal-age rappers to play in this toad's pond and hang at his (literally) crib.

USA! USA! USA!

Rush Limbaugh's Current Faux-Pas

I didn't want to comment on Rush Limbaugh's comments on that law student, because everyone else was doing it, and the internets were aflame. Plus, I had blogged constantly for 4 years without writing a specific article about him yet. But I've been asked to, and I shall. First, his comments:



Thanks to a successful Twitter campaign, a bunch of advertizers are now quitting Limbaugh's show, hitting the loud-mouth where it hurts: the purse strings. Because despite his studio being paid for and production costs nearing zero, and with his constant arguments about each individual having to foot the bill for whatever they want (insurance, health care, welfare, food stamps, pensions, etc.), someone else is always paying Limbaugh's bills, be they current or future.

He's apologized but at the same time is usually the first one to say apologies don't mean anything, that the person thinking what they said probably still feel the same way. But now he sees the threat of being taken off the air and is acting like the pussy he's always been, as most bullies end up doing when they're confronted.

Also, he prefaced his radio apology by saying he'd been using his adversaries' smear tactics despite his better judgement/manners - as if! - seemingly forgetting he insults people for a living, on air, 5 days a week for 3 hours at a time.

For once, the smell of shit around Rush Limbaugh isn't the hate speech coming out of his foul mouth, it's the complete picture of the situation he's in.