Celebrities That Look Like Mattresses

Oh God. So good.

Is Sad And Useless the best website at the moment? If not, they're damn close, and their Celebrities That Look Like Matresses (sic) post is the best page I've seen all year...

Here's a sample:

However, their Metal Albums With Googly Eyes post is almost just as good...

Motivate Yourself: Sports Meets Booze

Oh God. So good.

There are music mash-ups, and the are visual mash-ups. This is the latter, and it claims to combine ''fitness quotes'' with pictures of drunk people; they are more ''sports'' quotes, and one of them is a clear hockey reference (a Wayne Gretzky quote, in fact, the one about the shots you don't take), and at least one is from football (the 'team' one). Still, these images (and the rest from the Wall To Watch page where I found them) are the funniest and truest things I've seen so far this year:

That last one just might be my favourite.

How Marketing Consultants Get Fired

Shell, the international oil-guzzling money-making corporation and polluter, had a flash of genius: ''let's ask people on the internet to provide us with slogans because the ad agencies we use overcharge and, well, come up with crap''.

How could that go wrong?

The internet can't be that full of trolls, tech-savvy teens, protesters and 99%-ers, can it?

Guess again. The site is here, and they're doing their best to remove unwanted content as it comes, but too many are coming in and a few are still up.

I downloaded a few of my favourite ones, although some were taken away:

Hard to believe someone isn't going to lose their job(s) over this. Then again, it's not like a whole bunch of peoples' opinions on the subject will change: those against Shell won't become more against them, and those ''for'' excessive drilling haven't been moved the other way by the ecological disasters so far. And economists like the money that comes out of buying and selling petroleum, as do politicians, who get paid by the oil companies to watch an industry that was ethical enough 100 years ago kill off dozens of animal species and start wars all over the planet...

Sign Of The Times

I talk a lot about how Montréal's changing, how every week a store closes, every month some low-rent housing is torn down to make room for condos that look like they're made of plastic.

It's like that all over, in all places where it was good to live, in an attempt to take every last penny out of whoever still pines for a taste of The Life.

Jeremiah's Vanishing New York puts it in perspective today with a comparison from 1984, thanks to the Woody Allen film Broadway Danny Rose:

Animal Photobombs

While this site claims to have the 35 best animal photobombs of all time - and some of them are, indeed, pretty fucking hilarious - this site prefers to concentrate on dogs.

Take your pick - or go to both!

Much Ado About Déjà Vu

You've probably heard about the Tucson Safeway store clerk that censored this month's Elle because it featured a nude, pregnant Jessica Simpson imitating the classic Vanity Fair Demi Moore picture from 15 or 20 years ago:

... which Britney Spears also copied for her Harper's Bazaar spread:

But fucking puritans apparently got upset and complained. ''What about the children? What about the children?'' Where the fuck do children come from, anyway? Oh yeah - pregnant fucking chicks, who (probably) got naked to get that way. Teach your kids how shit really goes down, and maybe they'll grow up to be less ignorant than your holier-than-thou ass.

Here's the real cover, as it was intended to be seen by the whole planet:

I just realized... pregnant women are HUGE!

Iggy And The Stooges Play High Schools

Or they did when they started...

What a story! What awesome pictures!

Fountains Of Cool

With the humidity factored in, it's over 45 degrees celsius (113 farenheit) outside today, for the second time in three days.

The Russian website English Russia brings us pictures of girls cooling themselves in fountains, and it kind of almost works in real life.

It's a lot more interesting to me than their pictorials of Russian girls in (or on) foreign cars...

Let Your Sick Mind Play

I've come across this fun website that shows 15 pictures that look dirty upon a first glance but self-explain themselves when you look again.

A fun way to pass a minute.

That's No Moon!

When a website calls itself The Superficial, you're not to expect quality reporting or profound analysis - it's a given.

But a Star Wars reference for a celebrity booty shot? Why the hell not?

A look at Kim Kardashian's bikini butt:

The rest of the pictures - not as much fun - are here.

Nature's Destructive Beauty

Once again, the best pictures from the volcano in Iceland is from Boston.com's The Big Picture, including this one, where lightning mixes with lava and ash:

Nature's destructive beauty, right there.