WOMEN!

More often than not, I end my day having thought ''we really haven't evolved much since the 1950s'' in regards to sexism, gender equality and the like.

But once a week, I fall on old ads like this one that make me think ''oh, riiiiight'':

I mean, shit, when you put it that way, no, I'm sure she doesn't want her flaps stinking like an old kipper.

Which isn't to say we've arrived, either. As a matter of fact, I'm fairly certain we were closer to the goal in the mid-to-late 1990s than we are now.

Somewhere along the line, between putting George W. Bush in the white house as a President you'd rather ''have a beer with'' than have ''be smarter than you'', the rise of men's magazines like Maxim who may have been sarcastic when they captioned their almost-nude models' pictures but whose readership was too dumb for a second degree thought to ever emerge from their brains, and the Rise Of Redneck Culture (guns, Southern accents, pulled pork and barbecue, wrestling, wife beaters, Larry The Cable Guy, hating brown people instead of blacks being treated like ''acceptable racism'', Kid Rock, and reality TV shows glorifying child beauty pageants, dysfunctional families or junk resellers) as a whole did nothing but bring society back to at least the early 1980s.

And the Conservatives in general (and Republicans in particular) hyping up the 1950s as if the Cold War, segregation and women at home were ideals worth going back to, and pounding their message on their own infomercial network (Fox News) have done nothing to deter from dangerously falling behind again. In fact, they strongly encourage it.

Perhaps a few of them even have stock in Lux kebab soaps.

Expozine Last Weekend

I was hit with a flu this weekend, which stopped me from doing many things I had planned, including attending this year's edition of Expozine, the annual get-together of independent publishers in fields as varied as poetry, graphic design, calligraphy, comics, fanzines and many others.

A lot of my friends were there on both sides of the tables - selling and buying, learning and meeting new creative people, including the sometimes illustrator of my music singles AMM (Anne-Marie Martino), whose recent comics collaboration is this:

Also there was whiz designer Kevin Lo, who displayed his famous Wu-Tang Clan C.R.E.A.M. diptych, letterpress printed in gold ink on thick black cardstock:

Now that's postmodern genius.

Kim Gordon Wisdom

Elle Magazine had an awesome interview recently with (former?) Sonic Youth bassist and vocalist Kim Gordon, where she mentions what turns her on artistically these days, her current projects, and how she's handling the dating life now that she is divorced from co-founding SY member, co-vocalist and guitarist Thurston Moore.

It seems Gordon blames book editor Eva Prinz for the couple's break up (well, that and Moore himself):

''We seemed to have a normal relationship inside of a crazy world,'' Gordon says of her marriage.'' And in fact, it ended in a kind of normal way—midlife crisis, starstruck woman.''

 Other people have other views but, really, the only people who should worry about that shit are those directly involved: the guy cheating on his wife, the woman he's been seeing since, and the woman scorned who moved on with her life. The one thing everyone else on the planet should be allowed to ask is: is that shit bad enough to put an end to one of indie rock's best success stories of all time, of a band who did things their way from Day 1, who own all rights to all their works, who kept it real and experimental the whole time, and eventually got support from a major label (Geffen), but only after proving they could do it on their own, and still held their rights, their freedom, their autonomy - and were allowed to release stuff independently at the same time (Geffen has a similar deal with Beck, so they're cool like that).

Should it mean the end of Sonic Youth, then we should all get our hands on pitchforks (the tool, not the website, who likely still support everything Moore does - he is to them what Jack White is to me!) and walk over to Thurston Moore's house and seek revenge/retribution/justice/his head on a stick. Anything else just isn't our business.

In any event, Kim Gordon remains a ground breaker, a trend setter, a smart, poised, strong, articulate person who rocks harder than a lot of them. I saw SY many times between 1996 and 2002 - I stopped going when the shows got more expensive and shorter at the same time - and I met the band twice - once after a show at Métropolis, and another time after one at Le Medley. Both times they were affable, took the time to sign my ticket stubs and talk a bit, and really seemed to care about all the fans who waited outside for them. ''Good, simple humans'' I thought. Still do.

R.I.P. Live 'N Loud & Le Labyrinthe

Another day, another tragedy in the local music/arts/distribution world...

First, on the morning of April 10th, legendary rock-and-roll store Le Labyrinthe announced it was closing its storefront:

We're sad to announce that after 43 years as the largest rock/metal/punk/entertainment t-shirt store in Montreal,... fb.me/1FmqodXwl
— Labyrinthe Boutique (@LabyrintheRock) April 9, 2013

Man, I started buying Guns N' Roses t-shirts there in 1989, then remained through the grunge years where I'd buy a t-shirt per week. It calmed down at the turn of the century, as I've been into funny shirts more than rock shirts for a while, but I'd still make my way down there three or four times a year, and never came out empty-handed.

They'd expanded from the music/bong/belt buckle/poster scene to add a comics/DVD section a few years ago, and I was under the impression that wasn't going too badly, but I may have been wrong.

Later that afternoon, online music magazine/review site Live 'N Loud announced it, too, was calling it quits. I knew people who wrote for LNL, and they hadn't heard from their bosses in weeks. Now we know why.

It's a tough time to be associated with the arts in any form, and the overhead is killing many a business, particularly those operating downtown, what with the city speculating on buildings' value to increase tax revenue promptly landlords to increase the rent they charge and businesses seeing their profit margins disappear.

Another proof that short-term visions are a cancer to public finance and politics: what's better, 20% of something, or 30% of nothing? If they stopped stealing from the public directly, said public would be able to afford to spend their money, which through taxes would end up finding their way back into our crooked politicians' pockets anyway. But they get so greedy they kill off their own supply - and we all lose in the end.

Labyrinthe had been open since 1970. 43 years.

My mom was twelve, Paul McCartney was leaving The Beatles, Black Sabbath released their first and second records, Guyanna joined the Commonwealth, Rhodesia and Tonga became their own countries (seceded from the British empire), the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty came into effect, Canada declared Québec under Martial Law during the October Crisis, Apollo 13 was in space, four dead in Ohio (Kent State University students, inspired Neil Young to write what could be his best song ever), journalist Ruben Salazar was killed by the L.A. police (prompting Hunter S. Thompson - also covering the Chicano crisis - to write one of his finest works for Rolling Stone), Jimi Hendrix and Janis Jolpin both died within two weeks of each other, Monday Night Football debuts on TV, Doonesbury debuts in newspapers, the Marshall University football team were among 75 victims of an air crash, and Catherine of Siena and Theresa of Avila were made Saints by the Catholic Church.

If it seems like a lifetime ago, it's because it was. It's History, and it's being disposed of like fucking garbage.

Marketing 102

Marketing 101 is easy: come up with an idea that will get people talking and, hopefully, get some people to try and like your stuff.

Marketing 102 strives to take that to the next level: by getting people to talk about your thing / idea, without actually talking about it, thus bringing in a larger crowd who couldn't care less about what you're selling but who, by talking about it to enough people, will expand your reach to potential clients well outside of your usual circle.

Case in point, Where Magazine, published in countless cities/counties around the world:

By strategically placing a woman - yes, it had to be a woman - on top of the first ''e'', you make your magazine look like it's called ''Whore'', which will, as Will Ferrell would put it, ''gets the people going'' in addition to being ''provocative''.

It has to feature women because by doing so, you get their consent by default and can use tired stereotypes that stopped working in the 1990s to ''keep them in their place as a subdued minority'' when they, in fact, outnumber men both in population and now, in the workplace in jobs that require higher education. They haven't quite reached equal pay yet in many markets, but that's just one more fight to help them forget they outnumber men anyhow.

Also, if a cover like this - devoid of highly sexualized imagery and offensive visuals - can still anger a few nutjobs just with the placement of a head over half a letter and get media coverage, that's an added bonus.

Much ado, meet nothing. Nothing worth the internet sensation it will soon become, nothing that will solve the real issues (equality), even if the rags stop being so obvious about their participation in the generalized conspiracy to keep women and minorities ''in their rightful place''.

Owners Of A Lonely Heart

Life in the 21st century, where everyone in the civilized world has a computer (or computer-like device), the internet facilitates regime change, and people would rather connect with folks at the other end of the planet than their next-door neighbour.

And where half the planet is starving and doesn't have a roof over their heads...

The Atlantic's current cover story looks at the phenomenon of social media and how it's taken over our lives.

Kind of reminds me of a humourous picture that circulates over Facebook every so often...

Weird that I actually had to find this on Facebook, eh?

I, for one, even when I take time off away from Facebook, probably check it once in the morning. I'm glad I only go on Twitter once every couple of months, because I don't want to think about how much time I'd waste online before actually getting anything done if that wasn't the case...

Much Ado About Déjà Vu

You've probably heard about the Tucson Safeway store clerk that censored this month's Elle because it featured a nude, pregnant Jessica Simpson imitating the classic Vanity Fair Demi Moore picture from 15 or 20 years ago:

... which Britney Spears also copied for her Harper's Bazaar spread:

But fucking puritans apparently got upset and complained. ''What about the children? What about the children?'' Where the fuck do children come from, anyway? Oh yeah - pregnant fucking chicks, who (probably) got naked to get that way. Teach your kids how shit really goes down, and maybe they'll grow up to be less ignorant than your holier-than-thou ass.

Here's the real cover, as it was intended to be seen by the whole planet:

I just realized... pregnant women are HUGE!

San Fran-hips-Co Beer Week

Because I had fallen behind on my Maxim, Summum, and Playboy reading, I had no idea February 10th-19th was San Francisco Beer Week!

How thoughtful of them to tack on 3 extra days to factor in hangovers.

Lucky for me, I've been on a steady diet of 10-ish beers per day since early December when my Life turned to shit. Although I've mostly been drinking Tremblays, so my shit has turned into pudding.

Every Size Fits All

Slowly but surely, ''normalty'' is making its way into the fashion world and women's magazines.

Reminds me of the Lizzie Miller story...

If It Wasn't For Who They Voted #1...

Rolling Stone magazine - who loves to publish top-10 and top-100 lists and used to come up with them on their own - asked their readers to vote on a top-10 lists of the best punk bands of all time.

Here are the results:

10. Bad Brains
9. Social Distortion
8. The Misfits
7. Black Flag
6. Iggy & The Stooges
5. The Dead Kennedys
4. The Sex Pistols
3. The Ramones
2. The Clash
1. Green Day

Now, these bands all deserve a spot on the list...  but Green Day at #1? Really? Seems like their fans did quite a bit of ballot-stuffing... and aren't aware of what came before them.

I won't complain about their presence altogether - Dookie still sounds good and American Idiot was a surprisingly loud and clear political statement from a band used to singing about poo and futile teenage issues, but some of the most important bands were robbed of a better position (The Clash, for one, should have been on top, as could have been The Stooges).

And some of the omitted bands deserved much better, particularly Bad Religion, Rancid, Richard Hell, Television, and Jim Carroll; and acts like The Avengers, The Germs, Subhumans (U.K.), Fugazi/Minor Threat, The Minutemen, Crass, The Exploited and American Devices should at least have been mentioned in an ''honorable mentions'' segment.

And that's not counting my personal favourite punk band of all time, the Dead Boys.

Who's Pissing Me Off Now: MacLean's Edition

MacLean's. A Canadian institution. The Great White North's equivalent of Time Magazine. Except it's full of shit.

From half-researched stories on political corruption to half-assed stories on cultural figures, it has continually promoted a vision of Canada that exists to no one save a few elitist federalists but poses as a top news organization. Oh, sure, it's nowhere near Fox News' bias, but it no less depicts a country nothing like its real-life version.

All in all, here is the country as they view it: Vancouver is as expensive as New York City, but much safer, and hotter in weather. The Alberta sandpits are too valuable for their oil to complain about the pollution they make, and the people populating the Prairies are welcoming and hard-working, like American rednecks, but more tolerant of the indigenous peoples. Ontario is the best place on earth, with a strong economy, social services that work and a powerful establishment that protects it - and the rest of the country - from an American takeover, while Québec houses those retarded French people who cannot take care of themselves and are rotten to the core. Finally, the Maritimes are filled with unlucky toothless fishermen who, if they had any sense in them, should move to Toronto. The Inuit don't exist, except when you're running a story on global warming, preferably one in which we see polar bears drowning, at which time, you must show one toothless Inuit who says he's never seen the weather be so warm in his native Inuktitut language - to make sure people realize we haven't forced them to speak English and respect their ways of life.

In this recent piece about the Montréal subway system, they strive for a nostalgic tone, the good old days when the City had all these plans for the future and wasn't the desolate wreck it has become, with the World Fair, the Olympics, the first MLB baseball team outside the U.S. (The Expos)... things were looking up. Then came the 80s, Gino Vannelli, Men Without Hats, Corey Hart, Céline Dion... and bankruptcy, buildings crumbling, scarce jobs, no baseball team, the Habs' longest Cup drought ever.

And these MacLean's assholes saying they'll miss the ''old'' subway cars because they reminded them of better times, despite, and I quote:

Language woes, caustic politics, the War Measures Act, economic downturns, two referendums, an ice storm, the flight of thousands of its citizens for more English pastures: throughout all the calamities you could always depend on a bubble-bodied, rubber-wheeled, Smurf-coloured train to take you quickly and efficiently where you needed to go.

Uh, Champ... first off, ''language woes'' you were more than partly to blame for with the way you view the potato-and-beer dieting peoples, which, in turn, caused caustic politics, the ''terrorist'' acts that resulted in the War Measures Act, which themselves led to referendums to clear the air politically which then led to Anglos skipping town. It's all one thing. And none of that has anything to do with the subway system, which actually doesn't always ''take you quickly and efficiently'' anywhere near where one needs to go.

The fact that it doesn't even lead to the airport is a problem, as is the fact that it doesn't go all the way East and barely halfway West of the island. It goes North twice (one off the island) but leaves large territories unserviced. Not only does it not run 24 hours a day, one line doesn't even stay open until midnight on most nights. When it shuts down, the bus system replacing it is inadequate and doesn't run nearly often enough. It is now as expensive to use as NYC's system, but apart from two lines over-servicing downtown, under-services anywhere else. Rust and shit literally fall from the walls of most stations and rats run amok in the tunnels. Vomit puddles and stains can be left for months at a time where they sit - see Joliette station, half-way in the Angrignon direction platform, for proof. One station, Peel, was closed for a couple of weeks a few years ago because the building it was under collapsed on top of it.

It is a crumbling piece of nostalgic crap. People argue it's cheaper than hailing a cab or purchasing a car (factoring in insurance and licence costs and gas and whatnot). That's true. But such reasoning fails to factor in the amount of poverty in Montréal, the percentage of people making less than $15,000 a year who yet depend on said public transit to actually go to their shitty, underpaid, probably unhealthy job, and the fact that if the costs of the Métro keep rising, they still won't be able to buy a fucking car and will opt to stay home to cash their $10K welfare rather than walk three hours a day to bust their ass at work for $15K.