About #MeToo

You may have seen it, all over your Facebook or Twitter feeds, as I have, in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein scandal, the #MeToo hashtag with accompanying text:

I have deliberately cut out most of the picture and name to protect her identity for future reference.

Better yet:

The fact that pretty much everyone of my female friends followed suit - some even going so far as detailing when and how it happened - proves this is a generalized issue.

However, I want to point one thing out, for clarification's sake: the results of these stories has to come out for two reasons: 1. in case some people want to prosecute their abusers; and 2. for society to change and build from this for a better future. That being said, we should not, by any means, require victims to share their most intimate secrets in public to get that ball rolling. That's not how it should work.

I'm all for "innocent until proven guilty", I realize some famous folks have been wrongly accused these past few years, that's all good, a crime's punishment should require an actual trial, not an online lynch mob; on the other hand, victims must be believed and protected as well. You can do both in a civilized society. There may even be cases - that's where a true court comes in - where a victim may feel wronged but when the facts come to light, the defense may be able to make a credible case that there was middle ground; in the U.S., that's where civil court comes in, with punitive damages awarded.

Further debate and explanations on that issue, however - as with my own #MeToo because, as a Man, this is not my day to join that side of the argument - is for another day.

Today, my statement is this: I do not consider to have been a torturer in that sense, because just hearing the word "no" calms my manhood down for the rest of the night, as many disappointed role-playing ladies have found out. But there was a time as a child when I was discovering myself and sharing the experience with friends and relatives where now, as an adult, feel were either fucking weird or may have crossed some sort of line, and hopefully I didn't scar anyone for life. I have been told it was "normal childhood behaviour" by professionals, but kids are a mess anyway.

This does not mean I haven't been part of the problem, as an asshole, at an age where I probably knew better and could handle some responsibility.

I try to be a good person, and I try to improve on that every day. Some days I can't. Many times when I can't, I don't cause much damage to anyone but myself, if that.

But I have disrespected women, some of whom I even dated. I have said harsh thing. Terrible things. I even asked someone who had been on my case for an entire night "When will you die?". Jesus Christ. I'm haunted and tormented by the shit I've done - not just to women, to men too; I've said it here before, I've seen both sides, I've been bullied and I've been a bully, but fuck, man.

I'm in my late 30s now. I want kids. Chances are, if I do have some, they'll have some of my DNA. I don't want my kids to do what I did or say the things I've said. And here's the thing: my Mom was an amazing parent. She taught me to want to be - and do - good. She's probably the reason why I didn't turn out a criminal like some of my friends or some of my folk heroes. I don't know if I can do any better than she did, but I know there is shit I've had to learn by trial and error - and ages 8-10, then again around 15-16, I've erred quite a bit - that will look a hell of a lot like History Repeating Itself to me if and when I notice them from my kid(s) or their friends.

Sure, you try to teach them the basics: good, not evil; treat everybody equally, regardless of everything; help those in need. Some of that will have to come with reminders sometimes. Then there'll be the path corrections when they stray.

I have no idea if it'll stick. Because every day, I live with everything I've done in the four decades that I've been on this planet. And today, I'm thinking particularly of what I did and said to one gender. Friends, girlfriends, teachers, strangers.

I haven't always been a part of the solution. I'm trying to be, I really am, because there's only so much weight I can carry. But mostly because it's the Right thing to do.

Misleading Headlines

So The Daily Mail entitled a post "Denny's patron rewards her waiter with a sex act", with the link on Facebook appearing as "The Shocking Moments A Denny's Patron Tips Her Waiter With A Sex Act", except it didn't go all the way.

That's misleading.

And the whole article, the man and woman - consenting adults - are shown as "unidentified", inviting further investigation, as is wondering if the poor sob who got tricked out of a tip by barely wetting his tip lost his job over the incident.

Shame on you, Daily Mail.

Africa, Unite!

Why do I always get myself in these situations?

I cut down my Facebook friends' list from 5000 to 3500, and still I'm left with idiots strangers I usually completely disagree with.

Case in point:

Like, how is sympathizing enough when they are fucking staving to death? Are you eating popcorn while watching them die as entertainment?

In any event, here's what I wrote as a retort - honestly, I thought I was just going for one paragraph, didn't think it'd get this long:

I know I was wrong to use what I perceived was racism on their part to reverse-argue with them using false-racist analogies. And I didn't go any further on there because it already seemed like a long blog post.

This is what I was alluding to in my last post. Well, not really, but it's fuel to the fire. People are cruel, insensitive, self-centered assholes who care about no one but themselves. If it doesn't affect their own little fucking world, the want nothing of it; but when it does hit home, then everyone should come knocking, and there better be a fucking telethon on every TV station in the world, broadcast live on fucking YouTube, 'cause shit is BAD and they need help!

This is what governments should do: take part of your money to offer services which wouldn't make sense for you to take care of on your own, shit they have a better system in place to assemble and get going: emergency relief, streets and infrastructures, schools and education in general, hospitals and health systems, police and national defense and prisons, fireworkers - anyone covered by 9-1-1 - and helping folks like you live their fucking lives - on your street, in your neighbourhood, in your city, your State/province, the whole country. And making mutually beneficial deals with other countries, and helping some of them out when they're in trouble so they can help you out when you're in trouble.

The minute it stops working and your money goes to shit (or corruption), what should happen, is the system should come to a complete halt, and folks should get to decide whether it's time for a re-haul, a reboot, a new philosophy, or none at all. If it's ''none'', then you shouldn't have to pay a penny more in taxes, and there should just be two laws: 1. don't steal; 2. don't kill. Everything else should be free game. Sounds like a Republican wet dream, a Libertarian manifesto? Think again - it's from every  anarchist handbook. Funny how it makes more sense than the shit we're living in every day, doesn't it?

''Why don't we take care of our own problems first?''

Yeah, every time we try, we're either screwed by politicians or by some of the folks we're trying to defend:

Montréal:

Hiding their identification numbers

Turkey:

Occupy (Oakland and Wall Street):

Once again, Yan (and countless others) is right: this world isn't worth saving. The minute you're out of line, they will break you away from their system, and shove you into the correctional system, which no longer corrects prisoner's behaviour in order to rehabilitate him back into society; no, it corrects the statistics, protects the status quo by eliminating dissidence, so that they end up getting what they want - their opinion to be the majority and the de facto Rule Of Law - even if they need to remove the actual majority to get there. Louis C.K. has this great line:

I read something in the paper that really confused me the other day. It said that 80 percent of the people in New York are minorities... Shouldn't you not call them minorities when they get to be 80 percent of the population? That's a very white attitude, don't you think? I mean, you could take a white guy to Africa and he'd be like "Look at all the minorities around here! I'm the only majority."

And we're back to Africa. Which Barack Obama said we should help feed. What a world-weary socialist.

Sure, I digressed, but I came back, didn't I? And I found a way to put colourful pictures in the post...

Generalized Geography Fail

As could have easily been predicted, the internets were full of ignorant, incompetent fools putting their two cents in towards who should receive a free bombing in retaliation for the Boston attacks, and the clear winners were: the Czech Republic, and its 1918-1993 counterpart, Czechoslovakia.

Because, of course, idiots have no clue what Chechnya is, let alone where it's situated. Quick recap: it's one of the few territories Russia refused to let secede when the USSR collapsed, because like the Spaniards and English-Canadians, Russians like to own other people and their land, and to collect their taxes. Empires have a tendency to not be very good at letting go...

For the geographically challenged, here is a map:

It would suck if, say, Bratislava (capital of Slovakia, which seceded from the Czech Republic in the mid-nineties) were to get invaded because uneducated assholes couldn't tell the difference between two completely different peoples and countries. The Czech capital is Prague, and the Chechen capital is Grozny, by the way. They are separated by 10 to 20 countries, depending which route you take and how you define the republics still owned by Russia.

But back to the internets:

I wonder if ''down'' means 'North'' or ''South''

It probably has to do with the U.S. winning silver at hockey at the last Olympics, Czechs don't fuck around with hockey

See previous: hockey. Also, the Czech Republic is up North, far from the devil's heat, although Patrik Elias is Czech and plays for the Devils in New Jersey...

Someone doesn't understand how the Russians invaded the Czechs repeatedly from 1948 to 1988, with 1968 being the biggest show of force

Yep, they killed a guy from the past...

Again, look at the map, those countries are pretty wide apart as well

''Aren't of any'' - does a double-negative cancel out the fact that that Czechoslovakia hasn't existed for 20 years, or does it magically bring it back to life?

Probably by way of New Zealand and Zimbabwe...

Towel heads... really? Who's living in 1620 now?

Yes, let's blame a whole country for 2 guys' work... we couldn't even do that when the two guys were Dick Cheney and George W. Bush...

And for the fuck of it, Italy, too.

I've heard of brothers from another mother, but from another country altogether? Also: Boston Massacre jokes. Well played. If you can't laugh at dead babies, the terrorists win.

''One day''... I guess after Iraq, Afghanistan, the upcoming wars with Iran and North Korea, Syria, and all the other countries with mutual hatred/disdain for one another, the list is getting pretty long...

Also, the Midwest is full of former Brits that probably still love the Queen, the Northwest has a lot of Germans (need I say more) and New York is full of non-whites - who knows how many of them could be scary?

I'm pretty sure not, but 'Super Slayan' might be tweet-talk for ''I failed the fifth grade because I was too busy sucking cock at the back of the class''

And that's just the tip of the iceberg, of course. So much so that - and I shit you not - the Ambassador of the Czech Republic had to issue this fucking statement:

My faith in humanity has almost disappeared completely.

Reality Catches Up To Fiction

Project X Haren. It's what they're calling the birthday party gone awry in the Netherlands (Holland) when one girl's party/Facebook event turned into a riot because that poor girl's so-called ''friends'' invited unwanted friends, who in turn did so again, until it went viral and people started making ads and posters and YouTube videos to get the largest amount of people to crash it.

Days later, they are still merely assessing the damage, and the girl is in hiding with her family. They may require the country's witness protection program to start their lives anew.

According to BBC News:

The party had been cancelled and police had issued an appeal to would-be revellers not to come to Haren but at least 3,000 turned up anyway.

Many of them wearing Project X (based on a recent American movie) garb:

On days like this, I kind of envy my grandparents' generation, who still have no idea what the internet is.

Facebook Parenting For The Troubled Teen

He may have gone a tad too far, but it's damn funny.




And I'm sure he'll end up buying her a new laptop eventually.

More Stupid Criminals

Single people are getting more and more desperate to find ''the one'', so much so that many have abandoned dating websites altogether and opted for Facebook instead, where they can have access to whatever others don't make 'private' on their pages.

The people pictured above linked up on the said site and the man, Adam Minton, conveniently left out he was a cokehead with debt problems, while the lady, Leah Gibbs, forgot to mention she was an idiot.

Or perhaps she did, because when Minton took her out on a date, he actually got her to be his getaway driver while he tried to rob a bookie club. Yup.

Both were arrested at his place, but she was released because he admitted to acting alone and only taking Lt. Stupid along for the, uh, ride.

Jesus Christ, People

I posted this a minute ago on Facebook, and someone's already replied ''this is why kids shouldn't have kids''. Perhaps.

My friend Mark would probably say ''this is why stupid people shouldn't be allowed to have kids''. Touché.

Here's the story: 22-year-old Alexandra Tobias (hey, another name spoiled forever thanks to the internet!) shook her 3-month-old child to death - not once but twice - because it was... crying while she was playing Farmville.

Farmville.

The premise of the game is that by clicking on your screen, you pretend to be farming. You have crops to tend and attend to, trees to harvest, animals to... whatever the fuck you do with animals.

By clicking.

You're not actually farming, so, technically, taking a minute to care about your fucking kid before going back to the game is allowed. So is playing while holding the child. The possibilities are endless, and only limited by the power of your brain to think of a solution.

Unfortunately, killing your fucking kid is not typically seen as the best possible option, which is why she's facing 25 years in jail. Honestly, if I were a judge, there is no way I could put her in jail, considering she is just, clearly, too stupid to even exist - and yet, through improbable odds, she has survived 22 years so far; hopefully she's also too stupid to think of ''insanity'' as a defense, although personally, I'd give it to her right away without a trial. I'd also put her in an abandoned nuthouse set for demolition - and throw away the key. You know - an honest, administrative mistake.

Cheated Hearts

Cheated by the opposite of love
Held on high from up, up, up above
Kept my high from the second one
Kept my eye on the first one

Now take these rings and stow them safe away
Wear them on another rainy day
Take these rings and stow them safe away
Wear them on another rainy day

- The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

I'm probably going to be singing this one tonight. It's kind of the flip-side to their other song 'Maps', but where 'Maps' is about the beauty of the beginning of a relationship, 'Cheated Hearts' is where it all goes sour, the downfall, whether it's fast or slow, whether there was 'actual' cheating or if the whole thing feels like a sham, whether it's a lack of trust both ways or just loss of enjoyment.

I was listening to both songs on my way to work today (it was the 'random' feature, not a Yeah Yeah Yeahs trip), and I thought about combining both as a medley for tonight's show, with one segueing into the other, but it turns out 'Maps' is harder to flesh out chords that fit with my voice to accompany it, so it'll be the other song alone.

It's somewhat fitting that a stroke of coincidence would make it so, though, because 'cheating' was a topic that came up today at work - I have to add that we're all friends, and all relatively close, so we know things would never leave the confines of ''secrecy'', if anything was to be kept silent.

Anyhow, we got to talking about a couple of friends, who happened to have been a couple at some point, as well as both having worked at the same place I'm at now, and how one of them (the guy) had, indeed, cheated on his ladies - numerous times, on numerous ladies, with numerous ladies. He was a Pussy Hunter. He claims, however, that this particular time, with this particular girl, it just wasn't the case. She had imagined it by going through his emails and past Facebook comments for the past 4 years, and he considered it the worst breach of trust he'd ever witnessed (the girls he's cheated on might argue otherwise, but that just adds to the fun of being a spectator in this one).

Now, I've had both done to me: cheating, and going through emails, Facebook comments, she even went through every single file on my computer. I'll agree that one is more invasive than the other, and that because the one doing the searching is actually looking for evidence, they might believe that what they see is evidence because it seems odd to them (for example, having a life-long friend in Copenhagen, Denmark say they'll ''help keep you up all night'' because it's daytime there and it's night time here, and I have to stay up for the night, and it's no burden to them to write once in a while - because they're up anyway - might look bad, if it weren't for who the sender is).

Hunter's attitude, anyway, now, is that if His Lady (or Next Lady) were to do that to him, it'd be over right then and there - ''move out, fuck off, and I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore'' is how he put it.

I'm not so sure I'm that cut-and-dry about it, myself. I'm not saying I'd let it slide totally, and I know I'd be pissed off (especially if she'd read this post beforehand), but I let it happen with The Lady of The House a few times already, and I'm not sure I wouldn't again - I haven't put a new password on the computer or anything. But it does feel like a major breach of trust every time, though.

I guess it depends what you want to base your relationship on. Me, it's Trust. But I still think a Soiled Vagina (especially if I'm dipping in it when it's still inhabited by someone else's leftovers) is more serious than a Breach Of Security In The Mail Room. I think. That's the thing with shit, and shitty situations: you can never be sure until it happens. But you can imagine.

Video of the Week: American Devices

I think I'm liking this new Video of the Week feature... the week's barely starting and I'm already all up in it...

Here's another one I upped on my Facebook page quite a few times already: The American Devices' 'You Wouldn't Understand'...

For those of you who need a description of what they're about to see, it's about a guy, sitting on a chair, in what seems to be an empty apartment, and a dominatrix walking around him, sometimes whipping him gently.

Now that that's clear, here's a bit of info on the band itself: founded 30 years ago, this all-Montréal band is 'fronted' (although I'm 150% sure he despises this term) by Rick Trembles, cartoonist extraordinaire whose work has graced the pages of such prestigious zines as Fish Piss and such renown newspapers as the Montreal Mirror; he has also just released a second volume of his Motion Picture Purgatory series, in which he critiques and analyzes a film in one page - and in comic form. Also in the band are Rob Labelle and André Asselin, other legends of our local scene, as well as another comic-book genius, Howard Chackowicz on drums.

Former member Chris Burns (who has played bass, guitar and drums in the band and whom you could also know from bands like Crackpot and Nutsak, the latter with Asselin and Chackowicz) came up with a list of former members for me to tack onto this:

Jackie Gallant (drums), Cups Von Helm (drums), Suzy Joseph (farfisa organ), Mary-Jane Lamond (keys and vocals), Louise Burns (keys and vocals), Sylvie Payne (bass), and Dave Hill (bass).

to which Trembles added:

You missed Larry Vitus & Eric (hard rock goners) Sandmark who were both on bass for a bit (in the) late eighties.

There you have it, a complete list of current and former members of the longest-lasting freak unit (and apparent revolving door, especially on bass) in town.


You can call them punk, or new wave, or rock - but you would be dead-wrong. Sure, they rock and groove harder than Devo and The Ramones, but they can also slay their instruments with more love than Ravi Shankar at Woodstock.


But, hey - maybe you get it, or maybe You Wouldn't Understand.

Video of the Week: Dead Messenger

I started a new weekly feature just last week, Video Of the Week, and I nearly didn't post one this week... so much for continuity, eh?

Well, in the hopes of maybe getting myself to follow through on something for once in my life, here's a video from Dead Messenger that they did last summer (so it's still relatively recent). The song is 'Fat Black Heart', one of the best from their recent CD 'Love Is The Only Weapon', and usually the song they end their live sets with - not bad, considering they're one of the best live bands in this stinking town.

The song starts off as a convenience store in-line camera, then just slowly evolves into random acts of randomness that happen every day in town: people dancing in the streets, people walking down the streets with TVs on their heads, people hanging out in the middle of cinder blocks - and shots of Dead Messenger rocking out.

I like this song so much I've already linked the video four times on my Facebook page, and have used their chorus as an intro to a song of mine at a few live shows of late - and I like the band so much I've booked them for a fifth UnPop show in 5 years this Fall. I also plan on booking and opening for them for a future show at Barfly early in 2010.

Stalker Express

Facebook: the CIA isn't the only agency out to get you. Cops have busted criminals through their profile picture alone, the IRS is now using it as a tool... and people are using it to find shit out about their exes. Or people they had crushes on in high school. Or that person who works at the corner store that you think looks cute.

Thing is, it's not just the original user who's doing the stalking. With Firefox, Chrome and Explorer always vying to Facilitate Your Life, everyone who uses a computer after you can now stalk the exact same people you were stalking - in addition to the ones they were about to check up on!

I found an old friend from my early teenage years on there today; I wrote them to apologize for ending a pen pal relationship we had going when we were 11 or 12. I just never wrote back, even though I wanted to, it was just never the right time.

I'm in that kind of mood these days - apologetic, not stalker-y. It feels like I'm on a 12-step program or I'm dying of cancer or something, except I'm not. I guess I'm just trying to set things right, be a decent human being, give back. I'm not sure I'd go as far as the protagonists in My Name is Earl (one of my favourite TV shows of the past decade), where they actually make up for things they did wrong in the past by doing favours for the people they wronged - but I'll see where it leads.

Meme Of 4

You see these all over MySpace and Facebook, you answer them sometimes, then revisit them a month later only to realize your tastes have change drastically.

Another Suburban Mom proposes this meme of 4, taken from The Writing Journey.

So here goes it:

4 jobs I have had:
1. Babysitter
2. Clerk/Assistant-Manager at a used records & book store (first Dream Job to let me down)
3. Night Shift guy at a convenience store (urgh, most held up one in Montréal, too, guns in my face every other night)
4. Call Centre Supervisor (which led to the Second Dream Job that let me down)

4 movies I can watch over and over
1. Pulp Fiction
2. 12 Monkeys
3. Ace Ventura, Pet Detective
4. Me, Myself & Irene

4 places I have lived
1. NDG, Montréal
2. New Harlem, NYC
3. Centre-Sud, Montréal
4. Le Plateau, Montréal

4 TV shows I love
1. Seinfeld
2. The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
3. The Colbert Report
4. South Park

4 places I have been on vacation
1. Cuba
2. Florida
3. Maine
4. Gaspésie

4 of my favorite dishes
1. Poutine
2. Lobster
3. Lasagna
4. Shrimp

4 Websites I Visit Daily
1. Cyberpresse
2. Stillepost
3. Eva Goes Hunting
4. La Vie Est Une Puck

4 Places I Dream of Going
1. back to Cuba - fuck, I wish I could be there 6 months a year!
2. Italy
3. Hawaii
4. Australia


I'm not really fond of these things, but when I start, I could go on answering them for hours.

Obama Losing Ground

It was a matter of time, really, but Barack Obama's work getting the world to love the U.S. again has backlashed: his own citizens are starting to turn on him.

While many polls his supporters and those who support his ideas have remained around the same level as when the election took place, those undecided then have now joined the opponents' side - and nowhere is it as clear as when it comes to health care. Nate Silver analyses polls (and the idea of the reform and how it's not getting through) here. Food for thought, and a hell of a meal at that.

While it's true Conservatives are a lot more vocal than Liberals when voicing their discontent, a quick look at my Facebook page, my thousands of fans and friends and browsing groups in general shows a shift in public opinion, from Obama being revered 6 months ago to now being a ''socialist'', a Muslim (yeah, I know, those two never seem to go away), a threat to national security and - now - the Worst President Ever. How short a memory these people have is borderline ludicrous, of course, but the anger can certainly be felt.

And when asked to explain their views and feelings, many resort to ''politics is something I'd rather not discuss publicly with people''... then why the hell did you rant about your displeasure on your Facebook page and allow it to be seen by everyone?

Wisconsin musician Kevin Patrick had this to say about Jimmy Carter when someone mentionned at least he had reduced inflation:

reducing inflation?!? are you kidding, when he left office inflation was at 13%. The only president I can think of that is worse is Obama because he's heading down the same old tired socialist cradle to grave crap

Some online polls have Obama's appreciation rating at less than 30%; 71% are against his health plan, including some people who pay $1800 a year on insurance for two adults and two kids, who are convinced insurance companies will give their family everything they need because they pay a premium. Many don't want to end up ''like Canada, where people die waiting for life-saving surgeries''.

I, for one, am a little tired of those lies conveyed by the Fox News-types. It took me half an hour (that I deserved to wait anyhow because I got there early) to see a doctor last week. Life-threatning diseases are given appointments for operations on a case-to-case basis regarding need, and if you feel the wait is too long, you can always opt to get treated in England (for free) or ask the government to send you to the U.S. for it. You can also opt to pay a private clinic to do the work in less than 48 hours.

All in all, we have options. And the minimum care is always insured. How many people died waiting in line for an important surgery in the pasy 5 years? Five? How many people died in the U.S. from not having the funds to get help, or even just died in the parking lots of hospitals?

It's a silly debate to have, anyhow. A modern society should ensure its citizen's health, wealth and security. If Americans don't want to be a part of the 21st Century, it's their choice, but they should stop exporting their brand of Liberty Through War to those who don't want it, then, too, since most of the world has deemed ''universal health care'' a priority without actually being ''socialists''. Sometimes I wonder if those rednecks actually know what that word even means.

Seen On Facebook

A Group to keep sex offenders off the internet...

Why?

First of all, you did your time, you paid for your crime.

Then there's the matter of keeping a record on the bastards, and having neighbours point at them and put their picture up all over town. Oh, I understand their crimes brings pain to families and individuals, but it just doesn't make all that much sense to me that we don't do that shit with murderers and mobsters and money launderers who have many more victims and notches on their belts. But that's a story/debate for another day anyway.

So... What I want to understand is why we must keep those Life Abusers off the internet... wouldn't you rather have them surf porn sites all day and masturbate and get it out of their system, or do you want those fuckers walking outside looking under women's dresses at the grocery store, wandering in school yards and basketball courts, showing their penis in public transit?

If anything, give them free internet, with subscriptions to all the porn sites. Keep them indoors with imaginary chicks, cut off their MSN feeds and such so they can't contact kids, but keep their asses, eyes and dicks glued to the screen.