Pig Of The Day: Larry Nassar

In the wake of the Harvey Weinstein story, more and more women are coming out to show that this is a society-wide problem, not just something that is found on Hollywood casting couches, Parliament Hill backrooms, and in Fox News offices.

We already knew that 100 women were suing Larry Nassar, the former USA Women Gymnastics and Olympics team doctor, but today, two-time medalist McKayla Maroney came out publicly to say that Nassar began molesting her when she was 13 and repeatedly abused her until she retired.

According to the Buzzfeed article, "lawsuits allege that Nassar sexually abused athletes as young as nine years old, and most of his alleged victims were under 18 years of age."

Not all perverts are criminals, and not all sexual criminals are pedophiles, but those who are put their dirty stamp over so many lives that it should be taken into consideration when evaluating and handing punishment for their crimes.

In Nassar's case, it's hundreds of women, their close relatives and friends, their spouses and their kids - hundreds more - who are affected by and dealing with the trauma that one man's actions, spread over three decades, was allowed to keep making.

On the one hand, I believe in giving second chances for first-time offenders and he hadn't been found guilty and thus hadn't had to "learn his lesson" yet, but on the other, his number of victims is higher than that of military rape squads.

If society were to start over from scratch, this case would be Exhibit A in the argument for prison for life with no parole. As far as our current reality goes, I'm not certain in which State he'll be tried nor under which circumstances/accusations, but hopefully he gets the maximum time and least favorable living conditions in which to serve it when found guilty.

He's the Pig of the Day, and McKayla Maroney is the Hero of the Day.

About #MeToo

You may have seen it, all over your Facebook or Twitter feeds, as I have, in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein scandal, the #MeToo hashtag with accompanying text:

I have deliberately cut out most of the picture and name to protect her identity for future reference.

Better yet:

The fact that pretty much everyone of my female friends followed suit - some even going so far as detailing when and how it happened - proves this is a generalized issue.

However, I want to point one thing out, for clarification's sake: the results of these stories has to come out for two reasons: 1. in case some people want to prosecute their abusers; and 2. for society to change and build from this for a better future. That being said, we should not, by any means, require victims to share their most intimate secrets in public to get that ball rolling. That's not how it should work.

I'm all for "innocent until proven guilty", I realize some famous folks have been wrongly accused these past few years, that's all good, a crime's punishment should require an actual trial, not an online lynch mob; on the other hand, victims must be believed and protected as well. You can do both in a civilized society. There may even be cases - that's where a true court comes in - where a victim may feel wronged but when the facts come to light, the defense may be able to make a credible case that there was middle ground; in the U.S., that's where civil court comes in, with punitive damages awarded.

Further debate and explanations on that issue, however - as with my own #MeToo because, as a Man, this is not my day to join that side of the argument - is for another day.

Today, my statement is this: I do not consider to have been a torturer in that sense, because just hearing the word "no" calms my manhood down for the rest of the night, as many disappointed role-playing ladies have found out. But there was a time as a child when I was discovering myself and sharing the experience with friends and relatives where now, as an adult, feel were either fucking weird or may have crossed some sort of line, and hopefully I didn't scar anyone for life. I have been told it was "normal childhood behaviour" by professionals, but kids are a mess anyway.

This does not mean I haven't been part of the problem, as an asshole, at an age where I probably knew better and could handle some responsibility.

I try to be a good person, and I try to improve on that every day. Some days I can't. Many times when I can't, I don't cause much damage to anyone but myself, if that.

But I have disrespected women, some of whom I even dated. I have said harsh thing. Terrible things. I even asked someone who had been on my case for an entire night "When will you die?". Jesus Christ. I'm haunted and tormented by the shit I've done - not just to women, to men too; I've said it here before, I've seen both sides, I've been bullied and I've been a bully, but fuck, man.

I'm in my late 30s now. I want kids. Chances are, if I do have some, they'll have some of my DNA. I don't want my kids to do what I did or say the things I've said. And here's the thing: my Mom was an amazing parent. She taught me to want to be - and do - good. She's probably the reason why I didn't turn out a criminal like some of my friends or some of my folk heroes. I don't know if I can do any better than she did, but I know there is shit I've had to learn by trial and error - and ages 8-10, then again around 15-16, I've erred quite a bit - that will look a hell of a lot like History Repeating Itself to me if and when I notice them from my kid(s) or their friends.

Sure, you try to teach them the basics: good, not evil; treat everybody equally, regardless of everything; help those in need. Some of that will have to come with reminders sometimes. Then there'll be the path corrections when they stray.

I have no idea if it'll stick. Because every day, I live with everything I've done in the four decades that I've been on this planet. And today, I'm thinking particularly of what I did and said to one gender. Friends, girlfriends, teachers, strangers.

I haven't always been a part of the solution. I'm trying to be, I really am, because there's only so much weight I can carry. But mostly because it's the Right thing to do.

Bad Cops, Bad Cops, Whatcha Gonna Do?

Here is a list of recent ''awful cop stories'' excluding those involving them killing someone.

They came to light after this video was leaked:



Again, I come from a family of - I hope -presumably good cops, including one who arrests other cops. I know the ''guy culture'', and I understand some might feel underpaid for the shit they have to go through.

But police committing crimes should be subjected to twice the penalty a citizen would, on one hand. And there should be no level of tolerance of minimizing crimes they might have to deal with.

I'm as appalled in this video by the cops' talk of ''turning a blind eye'' as I am of the rape ''joke'', as a principle, but this is exactly what people refer to as us living in a ''rape culture''. If you can't trust the police to take you seriously, when they are merely the first step on a long and arduous ladder of justice, then the case is hopeless from the start.

That's why a lot of sex crimes go unreported. Events like this one, precisely. As much as news stories about rapist cops, maybe more so because it occurs more often.

You want to make jokes? Grab a microphone and get on a stage. When you're paid and wearing your uniform, take your job seriously. Or quit. Or volunteer to get raped yourself.

Go Texas, eh?

And Now For Something Completely Safe (For Children)

A lot drove the internets crazy this weekend, and it didn't let up when the week started.

After numerous online and regular-life talking about it, I'm too drenched to even attempt to write about the Woody Allen rape thing (did he do it? did he not?), except to say this: we don't know, and there are no facts proving nor disproving. It's more moral to believe the victim than the accused, which is why we have courtrooms and legal systems, but people's opinions on this matter are just a reflection of their own prejudices. I'm trying not to have any. So I'm taking a rain check on this one.

I will, however, go ''light'' and talk about the Super Bowl halftime show, starring Bruno Mars and featuring the Red Hot Chili Peppers, doing the opposite of lip-synching - instrument-synching:

Flea explained today that having live bands play is too much of an intangible for the NFL (unlike, say, a quarterback sack that would concuss a player and have him removed from the game, obliterating his team's chances of winning, or a half-hour power outage), so they use play-back for the instruments and only go live with the vocals - and the Chili Peppers deliberately chose not to pretend to plug in out of respect for their fans.

But playing with - and second fiddle to - Bruno Mars was ok with their fans?

The NFL should wise up and learn from this, and have bands go live. Or just go all-out theater and run scenes from Macbeth or re-enact Al Panico's speech from Any Given Sunday. Or just show more fucking ads, it's what most people are tuning in to see anyway.

Oh, Look: Religious Fanatics

Or ''Today's Sign The Apocalypse Is Upon Us'', although I strongly doubt that...

A Kansas medical doctor is in trouble (i.e. on the verge of losing her license) for ''the “sin” of not forcing a mentally ill ten-year old to carry her uncle’s baby to term''. (Technically, she actually lost it.) Her uncle's rape baby.

That is just fucked, no matter what your opinion of ''pro choice/pro life'', or Law, or justice, or family.

I mean, shit: the kid has already been forced to endure what she went through, and now she'd have to be forced to carry, give birth to and (!!!) raise this reminder of rape and incest? As a ten-year old?

You know how The Right say situations degrade because we'd been too permissive for too long? Well, yeah: we've been too permissive of letting nutjobs ruin common sense on all levels of society for too long, for power abusers to protect other types of abusers and...

Ok, hold up. I may be going too far because this hits me where it hurts: child abuse, and human rights.

Right-wing nutjobs have a right to exist and to free speech.

But that should never come before a victim's rights, human rights, and the actual protection of children (not of the ''I don't like what's on TV'' type, the real one).

I feel like the human race has lost just by having to type this.

You know what, though? At least the kid did get the abortion. And hopefully another state will grant Dr. Ann Neuhaus her license and she can get back to doing what she does best (practice medicine) rather than getting her ass kicked in court. Fuck Kansas.

Project Unbreakable

Follow the whole project here.

The Penn State Affair

In the football-and-pedophelia scandal I mentioned last week, like in most major cases nowadays, prosecutors went public with their evidence, in an obvious attempt to sway public opinioon - as if they even needed to.

Sports Illustrated gives us an inside look with an in-depth 3-page report on the matter that leaves chills in your spine. Well, mine anyway.

How To Abuse Trust. And Children.

Yet another proof that there's often a treacherous, filthy reason behind Conservatives - particularly Republican-voting or -inspired - ''helping out'' or passing ridiculous, over-reaching laws: a former Penn State football coach Jerry Sandusky is accused of raping 8 boys between 1994 and 2009, through his charity for ''at risk'' kids The Second Mile.

The ''beauty'' of raping an ''at risk'' kid is that if it all goes to shit and only this kid goes to the authorities, it can be wiped under the rug, as the ''troubled teen'' is up against the ''respected elder gentleman'' in a battle over whose word is to be believed. The pervert usually wins.

But when it comes to 8, and no one took the allegations seriously enough to investigate deeper, all involved in the cover-up get treated the same way as the pedophile. And rightly so. And then it goes to court, and it's Hell to pay.

Which means one bad apple can ruin all of his victims' lives, his family (say, if he's married with kids of his own), and the lives and careers of those who stood up for and defended him. That's a lot to fucking answer for. Don't these selfish fucking scumbags realize they're ruining everybody's fucking lives?

I keep telling myself Sandusky is innocent until proven guilty. But when he is found guilty, I'll find myself wishing he'll be locked up with other sexual abusers, and maybe they can help each other out, either by sorting their issues through council - or, perhaps more probably, by fucking each other to death.

But these stories are becoming routine, which in turn makes me doubt the motivations behind everyone's moves in Society, question their honesty, their integrity, look for a dark, hidden meaning behind the appearance of a good deed. And that's not even getting into those in a similar position of power (politics, religion) who use ideology to cleanse the world of what they publicly call ''sinners'' when they, themselves, are far worse than what they aim to outlaw.

Call me cynical, but I'm starting to believe I'm the only one human being who isn't broken, morally. I know that, technically, good people can do bad things and vice versa, that, in general, We Are The 99% That Aren't Too Fucked In The Head. I just fail to see it in Life.

I Hope She Wins

American Apparel, a brand known for their (sexually charged) ads and the multiple sexually-based scandals featuring its CEO Dov Charney - from firing an employee for not being 'hot' enough, to multiple cases of sexual abuse, to allegedly holding a woman captive and forcing sex upon her - recently started a contest in the hopes to find ''the next booty-ful plus-size model'' or something along those lines, which is a slight departure from their skinny-as-a-nail look.

One applicant is Nancy Upton, who entered the contest with pictures such as these as a means to protest:

What strikes most people who see these pictures is the fact that as a size 12, she's not ''overly plus-size'' - most stores carry ''regular'' sizes up to 16 - and that she's on the 'hot' side.

While Jezebel reported the story, in the comments section of the article lies a debate about what actually makes one plus-size, something that happens just about every year and that we should get to the bottom of, eventually.

The Brothers Who Loved Boys Too Much

The Gazette came out today with an amazing in-depth look at sexual abuses at my alma mater, Collège Notre-Dame.

It talks about one particular case but also says the bulk of the cases reported to it took place in the 1970s.

I was there from 1990-95. I can say that cases in my era were absoltely not blatant and exposed. For one thing, Brothers no longer taught any classes, and only two were still on duty, in charge of the boys' dormitory for seventh graders.

Others roamed the halls at times, yes, because they still lived in the building, but most were never present when students were around.

It's hard to pinpoint how many kids were susceptible to have been abused, because you cannot assume a teen has been raped just because he acts weird.

But the two who tended to the boarding boys should not have been there in the first place. Whether accidental or intentional, some slips have definitely occurred. And to think that some kids were scarred to the point of committing suicide - for something that could easily have been avoided - by keeping the priests away from the kids. As simple as a math problem, really.