Praying

I'm not a religious man, by any stretch of the imagination.

In any event, if there is a God, those who preach His words the loudest are likely to be the ones who have it the most wrong, seeing as they Hate everyone who isn't like them, be it because of race, sex, sexual orientation, different religious views, political views, different tastes in entertainment...

They also have praying down all wrong.

I like what George Carlin said about praying, it's funny, but, in essence I don't agree with him.

I've often thought people treat God rather rudely, don't you? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a better job. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday His day off. It's not nice. And it's no way to treat a friend. But people do pray, and they pray for a lot of different things, you know, your sister needs an operation on her crotch, your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall. But most of all, you'd really like to fuck that hot little redhead down at the convenience store. You know, the one with the eye patch and the clubfoot? Can you pray for that? I think you'd have to. And I say, fine. Pray for anything you want. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan?

Praying to get something, to receive something, is so totally wrong. It's insane, it's backwards-stupidity-becoming-double-stupidity.

Think about it for a second: God is like a parent, we're his child: he created us, made us. Everything we have, everything we are, we owe it to His Will, he was nice enough to give it to us. For, depending on your views (Creationism versus Evolution), hundreds or millions of years.

And the only fucking time we ever call him up is to beg for something more? No ''Hi, Dad, how are you doing today?'', no ''How's Eternity treating you?'', no ''How's Mom?'', no ''Thanks God I'm alive!''...

Instead it's ''I need a new car'', ''I didn't study enough but need to pass this exam'', ''I hope Marie-Julie Melançon will love me as much as I love her'', or ''My team needs to win the Super Bowl''.

Take, take, take. You praying people are ungrateful fucking children. And I'm sure there are more of you ungratefuls out there than we think who are, in fact, fucking children.