My Friends Are So Distressed

Our friendship started in late 1990, except it wasn't exactly friendship at first: we were sharing a dormitory with 100 other 7th-graders, and his bunk was next to mine. And that fucking Alexandre Paul, known to his friends as Po Paul, was a heck of a snorer. So eventually, I started throwing water at him when he snored - I fought fire with... water.

Maybe the water was an omen.

Anyhow, before the school year was over, we were inseparable buddies, part of a group of like-minded music aficionados, with a tendency bent towards hard rock. Sure, we had our differences - he preferred Nirvana and solo Ozzy Osbourne, I loved Pearl Jam and the first Black Sabbath line-up. Ultimately, though, we could agree on the important things: Guns N' Roses kicked ass.

We also got along outside of school, spending most of our weekends walking day-long treks from my house in the Western part of Montréal, through downtown with countless stops at HMV, Burger King, Sam The Record Man's and Labyrinthe, all the way to his folks' place, in the East end. If the night included a sleepover, we'd watch Saturday Night Live together.

The son of a fireman whose nickname he inherited, Po Paul always wanted to do whatever he could to help ensure he and we would be able to live in a better, fairer, safer, cleaner world, and so it was a match made in heaven when he joined Greenpeace some 15 years ago. From door-to-door canvasser to supervisor to rider of the sea, his ascension throughout their ranks is exceptional.

Then again, he's a pretty awesome guy to begin with.

I'm often asked why Montréal is home to so many activists and great artists, and my answer is usually two-fold and quite simple: it's an awesome place full of utopian potential, yet it was led to being a complete shithole by profiteers who took advantage of the people's good hearts. And so many are fighting to make it - or the rest of the world - a better place.

Po Paul's journey was put on pause recently when he and 11 other activists were arrested in Russia on charges of piracy, for attempting to board an oil rig; they were denied bail and the investigation will last 60 days, though they have yet to actually be charged with anything.

Greenpeace is protesting and appealing, but as we've seen with the Pussy Riot trials and the recent ''anti-gay-propaganda'' extravaganza, Russia - like Russians - couldn't care less about political or outside pressure; they beat to their own drum, and they drum loudly.

Which is the main reason why Po Paul's mom is freaking out, seeing as he's facing a possible 15 years of gulag jail time if he is indeed found guilty. For trying to make a difference, and almost standing in the way of Big Oil.

We'll know in a couple of months whether this farce will taste like Justice or Abuse Of Power, but there are lots of reasons to be scared.

Godspeed, my friend, and best of luck. You've been in our thoughts all week, and we're keeping you there front and center.

Crackhead Mayor

I've been relatively quiet here for the past week, which means I've also missed out on writing about Toronto mayor Rob Ford, the ultra-conservative genius who once said that people who use bikes and bike baths instead of cars and buses were ''two steps left of Joseph Stalin'', and his alleged crack cocaine usage.

Now that Gawker can't seem to find the guys who were selling the evidence, Ford has come out of hiding and officially denied the claim, but it looks more like ''now that's it's safe and those guys are afraid of getting caught, I think I can get away with it''.

Taking a week off from the controversy - some say he went into a quick rehab, came out for the press conference then back into rehab - only fueled the fire, as it gave the Globe And Mail time to research what became an 8-page story on the Ford siblings' history with drug trafficking.

The heat is on. Soon, the pig will be cooked.

New Rules For Unemployment Will Create Poverty

While the Globe And Mail isn't usually Canada's most left-leaning newspaper by any stretch of the imagination, even it couldn't close its eyes on the Conservative government's recent budget provision which would force a worker on unemployment (EI) to accept work even if it doesn't correspond to their specific skill-set, even if it pays less than they are accustomed to (or can afford) or involves “conditions less favourable than those (…) recognized by good employers”.

As Sid Ryan, president of the Ontario Federation of Labour, said:

 I believe it’s more about a downward pressure on wages. This government is essentially saying unless Canadians lower their standard of living and lower their wage demands, we won’t be able to compete with China and places like that.

Nice. An official government policy that will turn into Law making Canadians even by going to the lowest common denominator. I have talked often about how Stephen Harper's cronies seemed to want Canadians to be slave workers to their rich friends' companies; now, they are instituting this as Law.

Imagine a CEO, paid a million bucks a year, big house, 5 cars - the whole deal. Loses his job, but it's only temporary, he's highly educated, highly regarded, has the right friends in right places, just needs a bit of time... being forced to accept a job as a clerk in a 7-11. Think that's a way to repay his mortgage? Of course not. He'll go from ''the 1%'' to ''the rest of us'' in no time.

Same goes for skilled workers, like plumbers, electricians, truckers... they risk losing their trades, licenses,  even their skill-set, and many professions risk if not elimination, at least a monopolization that would exclude many members in the short-to-middle run.

The Conservatives want power and money to remain in the hands of people they know, and no one else.

They even raised the age for receiving old age pensions from 65 to 67 (effective in 2023, after all their fucking friends will have received theirs...) and will diminish the amount provided, despite tons of research proving none of this needs to be done.

All of these measures, as well as re-opening the gay marriage and abortion debates, and the costly Queenification of the country is taking the country back 4, maybe 5 decades. And there's nothing anyone can do about it, because they have the majority at the House Of Commons.

We're talking about the same fuckers who cut $6.7B the National Film Board and $115M in the state-run CBC, but gave Quebecor Media $5.5B as a gift, presumably to keep spewing right-wing fake news on Sun News TV.

We're talking the Armed Forces Fan Club who managed to cut mental health resources for soldiers. I guess the message is ''if you don't die abroad, you're fucked''.

So the Feds want us dead or as slaves, and the provincials want us uneducated and poor. And yet, the Independence option remains below 40% in most polls, despite strong federalists Michael Ignatieff and Justin Trudeau being relatively open to it... hard to understand.

Need I remind these fuckers that in the Grande Scheme of things, mankind is but a blip on the map, a few thousand years in millions of years of evolution - and this particular generation, century even, is but a blip on mankind's time. We're pretty fucking meaningless, and yet there remains a bunch of assholes intent on fucking it all up for most folks instead of letting us enjoy the ride.

The current climate just cannot stand, and I wouldn't be surprised if stuff like the Victoriaville riot happened more often. Then again, wearing a mask - even a gas mask for protection from canisters and fumes - will soon mean 5 years in jail...

Death Of A Democracy?

By now, chances are you've heard about last Summer/Fall's Occupy movement, and probably this Spring's two-month-strong student protests/strikes. If not, look it up, it's a fine read, students refusing a hike in education costs, defying (provincial) Prime Minister Jean Charest daily, kind of helping us forget how corrupt his government has been - but kind of not, at the same time.

Well, the Québec governing party, the Québec Liberal Party (which, technically, on a left-to-right, liberal-to-conservative scale ironically falls strongly on the Conservative side - picture Mitt Romney leading a Workers' Party) was holding its general council in Victoriaville, far from the rumbling streets of Montréal, comfortably, in the countryside, in a town usually so peaceful they don't even have a jail there...

Well, tons of anti-Charest protesters made the trip, including - but not limited to - busloads of students. Well, as may have been expected, shit did, indeed, hit the fan, and a riot ensued. My crystal ball is hazy from the all the smoke and pepper gas used in the picture gracing this post alone, but I can't wait to see how the media will spin this and how it'll affect public opinion. It can go either way: they may convince people that students are to blame for this and have to be forced back into class right away - or they could realize just how many folks are dissatisfied with this sham of a government.

The cops are close to being in over their heads, stopping and arresting at least 3 buses full of university students on their way back to Montréal - on the highway! - most of whom will likely be accused of ''participating in an illegal demonstration'', which they will eventually be found innocent of, but will spend the night in Victo and will have to go back to stand trial; minor yet irritating inconveniences, worse for foreign students and those depending on financial aid. But they will have to go back for sure, because a non-appearance in court is equivalent to pleading guilty in the eyes of the law.

Amnesty International has already condemned our police force of mishandling the situation - how worse will they look on the international scene? How will this affect tourism in our city this summer? Will we warn tourists to stay in their hotel rooms after 8PM?

One kid lost an eye early in the conflict from a noise grenade to the face, another one did so tonight from rubber bullets, another girl got shot in the face with rubber bullets and had her jaw broken and lost teeth, one kid is in the coma. Half a dozen cops and a dozen protesters are hospitalized, many more were injured but returned home or treated on-site (one paramedic says he treated at least 20 on-site).

This government has lost its legitimacy a long time ago, this is just added, useless bonuses. The student thing? Over a few million bucks, less than the Liberals have handed out to their mafia friends and fundraisers since the beginning of the year. How much more violence do we need before we kick those fuckers out of office? Do we need a cop or a kid to die? Chicago 68? Los Angeles 92?

History will not be kind to you, motherfucker, if you let this fester any longer.