Showing posts with label Comics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comics. Show all posts

Friday, December 16, 2016

United Nations Fire Wonder Woman

Here's a chain of stupidity:

It starts with the United Nations voting on a new Secretary General and electing António Guterres of Portugal to the position. This enraged some people of the "what about us" crowd, of course. You see, it had been noted that the U.N. had never - in the nine times the role had been appointed previously - chosen either a woman or an Eastern European.

Indeed, here are the past Secretaries-General:

Gladwyn Jebb, U.K. (Western Europe), 1945-1946.
Trygve Lie, Norway (Scandinavia), 1946-1952.
Dag Hammarskjöld, Sweden (Scandinavia), 1953-1961.
U Thant, Burma (Asia-Pacific), 1961-1971.
Kurt Waldheim, Austria (Western Europe), 1972-1981.
Javier Pérez de Cuéllar, Peru (South America), 1982-1991.
Boutros Boutros-Ghali, Egypt (Africa), 1992-1996.
Kofi Annan, Ghana (Africa), 1997-2006.
Ban Ki-moon, South Korea (Asia-Pacific), 2007-2016.

So, uh, if we're going by "everyone should have a turn", it's missing members of the LGBT community, the Caribbean, and a North American. Also, of nations with Independence Movements in their midst: Canada (Québec), Spain (Catalonia), Russia (Chechnya), or even Czechoslovakia (Slovakia) pre-Annan.

Now, of that list, Jebb can be taken off because his term was merely the inception of the brand, he was there until someone else was officially appointed, which means no one from the G-7, G-8 or G-20 had ever held the position before Ban Ki-moon, and even then, when he took the position, the G-20 did not actually exist - the G8 stood as the world's economic summit until 2009, when it was deemed smarter to include emerging countries to the list.

Just to recap, the G-20 encompasses: Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, China, France, Germany, India, Indonesia, Italy, Japan, South Korea, Mexico, Russia, Saudi Arabia, South Africa, Turkey, United Kingdom, United States and the European Union, which was founded/conceptualized in 1993 but only got its traction and recognition when it was decided in 1999 that it would have its own currency, the Euro, effective in 2002.

So, in summation: there was outrage that out of eight (8) elected appointees in history, two groups out of possibly five or more had never held the position. One said group represents half the population of the planet, while the other one has had a pretty harsh 20th century and likely deserves a shot of optimism.

But not thinking it through, the U.N. bowed to a relatively low amount of pressure and instituted, for their 2016 selection, public nominations. Five candidates emerged: two men from Eastern Europe (Vuk Jeremić from Serbia and Miroslav Lajčák from Slovakia, who ran on the "zero tolerance policy on sexual violence and abuse by peacekeepers against civilian populations is a must; such violations must be fully investigated and perpetrators brought to justice" platform) and two women (Irina Bokova of Bulgaria, and Helen Clark of New Zealand), in addition to Guterres.

And though technically, Bulgaria is in Eastern Europe, the Southeastern part is often seen as having had less suffering than, say, Serbia or Poland. Of course, the four "minority" options split the vote and Guterres won.

Guterres, by the way, is highly qualified. He was the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees between 2005 and 2015, Prime Minister of his country (which doesn't have a poor Human Rights record of late) from 1995 to 2002 and President of Socialist-International from 1999 until 2005; we're talking about a guy who has always been about equality, rights, and protecting the little guy.

Again, of course, there was outrage. Limited, Twitter-storm-type outrage, but still, some angry voices were heard, and the U.N. created a new position, that of "honorary ambassador for the empowerment of women and girls". Instead of appointing one of Clark or Bokova, or German chancellor Angela Merkel, Hillary Clinton, Françoise David, Madonna, Kathie Sarachild, Shamima Shaikh, Annie Sprinkle, Oprah Winfrey, Geena Davis, Naomi Wolf or even the actresses who famously played the part - Lynda Carter and Gal Gadot - the U.N. chose to name the character Wonder Woman to the position.

It wasn't wrong per se: famous feminist publisher Gloria Steinem had put the character on the front page of Ms. magazine in 1971. "She" is a powerful, strong-willed character who would never back down from a fight or a challenge, yet she is also a diplomat who would rather negotiate than wield her power, a lover of peace who strives to never escalate a conflict because she wants to give her opponents a chance; if a conflict does arise, she will prevail - with the utmost authority. You know, like the fucking U.N. is supposed to.

But hey, an online petition was started by a bunch of fucking idiots and the idea was canned, because she "dresses too sexily", among other reasons. That's right: the U.N.'s "honorary ambassador for the empowerment of women and girls" - a fictitious character - was fired because of how she chooses to dress. I'm guessing it's suits like this one that led to one person being shocked enough to start the petition:
Which conveniently forgets that she has also been drawn as follows by Jim Lee, the guy who made all five of these drawings:
Wonder Woman is an Amazon Princess, a warrior, and a diplomat; she's Pocahontas, Mulan and Angela Merkel all rolled into one, when most other characters in her medium are one-dimensional.

Some people - particularly on the left side of the political spectrum, the one I identify with the most - just don't know how to pick their fights. That's why we can't have nice things, because everything has to be so fucking watered-down that it doesn't mean anything anymore, making sure no one gets offended by any of it (which is impossible for anything of substance), and no victory but the ultimate one (well, the translucent and aseptic victory devoid of taste, anyway) is ever good enough. The same short-sighted fuckers who want to fight for everyone's equal rights one minority at a time instead of the more efficient FOR ALL at once.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

R.I.P Nicolas Plamondon

I had to write about Expozine recently for someone involved with it (he participated from 2007 to 2011) to go through enough hell to alter the life experience of everyone who knew him...


Artist Nicolas Plamondon took his own life a few days ago, unable to cope with a world he never quite fit in. Ever searching for his place in it, recognizing himself always only in part in what was offered, even his art reflected his dazed outlook:


The above picture was taken from Théâtre Des Souffrances and reprinted in the last edition of Four Minutes To Midnight, which I also occasionally contribute to.

Because life and art often intersect, he participated in the Spring demonstrations to support striking students, getting arrested multiple times. They weren't his first times behind bars, as he wrote about his 10-hour detention for the G20 demos in 2010 here.

The world loses one sensitive young adult who thought the world we live in doesn't make sense. The status quo loses an opponent and rolls on that much closer to victory.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Expozine Last Weekend

I was hit with a flu this weekend, which stopped me from doing many things I had planned, including attending this year's edition of Expozine, the annual get-together of independent publishers in fields as varied as poetry, graphic design, calligraphy, comics, fanzines and many others.

A lot of my friends were there on both sides of the tables - selling and buying, learning and meeting new creative people, including the sometimes illustrator of my music singles AMM (Anne-Marie Martino), whose recent comics collaboration is this:


Also there was whiz designer Kevin Lo, who displayed his famous Wu-Tang Clan C.R.E.A.M. diptych, letterpress printed in gold ink on thick black cardstock:


Now that's postmodern genius.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

This Week's Top 10s

Top 10 Songs:

10. EISBAR, Grauzone (1980)
9. DISORDER, Ice-T & Slayer (1993)
8. DESPAIR, Yeah Yeah Yeahs (2013)
7. LEAVE BEHIND, Martha Wainwright (2012)
6. MIRACLE WORKER, SuperHeavy (2011)
5. CAME BACK HAUNTED, Nine Inch Nails (2013)
4. MIND YOUR MANNERS, Pearl Jam (2013)
3. FOUR BLACK SHEEP, Martha Wainwright (2012)
2. DRAG ROPES, Storm Corrosion (2012)
1. YOUTH WITHOUT YOUTH, Metric (2012)


Top 10 Alan Moore Comics:

10. THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN, America's Best Comics/Top Shelf (1999-present)
9. PROMETHEA, America's Best Comics (1999-2005)
8. FASHION BEAST, Avatar Press (2012-2013)
7. TOP 10, America's Best Comics/DC Comics (1999-2001)
6. SWAMP THING, DC Comics (1984-1987)
5. FROM HELL, Tundra/Top Shelf (1989-1996)
4. BATMAN: THE KILLING JOKE, DC Comics (1988)
3. LOST GIRLS, Top Shelf (1992-1992, 2006)
2. WATCHMEN, DC Comics (1986-1987)
1. V FOR VENDETTA, Vertigo/DC Comics (1982-1985)

A lot of Alan Moore fans will rate Swamp Thing #1. I didn't read it when it came out, as I was between the ages of 6 and 9 years old - more interested in Batman, Iron Man and even Archie to bother with ''more serious'' comics - but I find it hasn't aged all that well, certainly not as well as Watchmen and V For Vendetta, which could have been released this year, despite the huge leap in storytelling in all its forms in the past 30 years - it's like comparing a George Lucas-directed film with a Quentin Tarantino one.. Lost Girls is one of the best ideas ever - taking three iconic female characters (Alice, Dorothy and Peter Pan's Wendy) and having them share their experiences, twisted to reveal sordid tales of sexuality. If only The League was as bold...

By the way, I lost my copy of Lost Girls in a flood, if you're looking to get me something for my upcoming birthday, or Christmas...

Friday, February 3, 2012

So I've Always Liked Strong Women To Match My Own Character

As a kid, I watched a lot of TV: G.I. Joe, Transformers, He-Man, Thundercats, M.A.S.K., Go-Bots (a cheap Transformers knock-off), Spider-Man And His Amazing Friends, Goldorak, Astro Boy, Albator, Mazinger Z (the poor man's Goldorak), Voltron... lots of guys with big muscles and cars that turned into shit, and things that turned into giant communist (all the heroes in the same character) robots. And an anarchist pirate.

And, for a short while... She-Ra. I'd add ''in my defense, I was only watching it in case He-Man made one of his many cameos'', but even I'm not sure if that would make me admit I'm more or less manly. But the truth hurts, that idiom stays real.


In any event, I always like when pop culture catches up to She-Ra, proving I wasn't the only one who liked watching re-hashed stories involving He-Man's cuter little cousin - with smaller boobs.

As a matter of fact, someone on HelloGiggles - Zooey Deschanel's own blogosphere that she shares with her friends - made a list of 5 things they learned from She-Ra...

Thursday, March 3, 2011

February's Collectibles

Here's a recap of the people I featured on my Collectibles Blog (and the item it stemmed from) in February:

Brian Gionta: 4 autographed hockey cards
Shea Weber: a swatch card
Jude Millien: autographed comic book
Shawn Horcoff: 4 autographed hockey cards
Max Pacioretty: a swatch card
Roberto Luongo: an autographed picture
Mike Fisher: 4 autographed cards

An author, 4 team captains, an alternate captain, and a promising young powerforward. At least February wasn't a complete loss.

I also got 4 cards from Alexandre Burrows of the Vancouver Canucks, but I'm still struggling to find the right words to it - I know, I usually never correct or edit myself, let alone come in with a plan before I start writing. But there are exceptions to every rule.

Friday, February 4, 2011

The Guardian Project





Leave it to the NHL to have a perfectly good product and no idea how to market it, then do everything wrong in the process - from crappy slogans (''The coolest game on ice!'') to expansion in no-win markets to centering all ads and marketing towards Sidney Crosby, the third, fourth or tenth best player in the league, depending on who you ask.

This time, they've taken a lame idea the NFL refused to partake in and cheesed it up even more. The idea? To have a brand-new superhero comics project (in an age where comic readers are veering away from superhero stories) involving ''new'' heroes from each town that has an NHL city, each hero bearing the team's colours and name of team as character name, for example The Penguin in the city where the Pittsburgh Penguins play.

If it was just that, it'd be bad enough.

Unfortunately for all involved, the NHL got the brilliant idea of getting Stan Lee on board - the creator of Spider-Man, the X-Men, Hulk, and nothing new or original since the 1970s. Even his old stuff are pretty much copies of one another: all the good guys having first and last names that start with the same letter, an event that gives them superpowers, and a Life Lesson as obvious as the sun to teach him that ''with great powers come great responsibilities''.

This time around, ol' Stan decided to use Wikipedia to find stuff out about each city and incorporate that into the character (There are French people in Montréal? Really? Let's have The Canadien speak some of it at the end of every third sentence, and let's not bother to check for spelling) and, cheesiest of all, each hero sports an NHL belt and their hometown team's logo on their chest. Yes, I know, the days of a superhero with a logo on his chest have been over since Batman (created in 1939), Superman (created in 1932, first appeared in 1938), Captain America (1941) and The Punisher (1974).

And that's just the beginning. Before any one hero was released. As they were, many comic book fans realized very few of these new superheroes were, indeed, new; they were all rehashes of something that already exists (The Canadien is nothing more than Iron Man with Cobra Commander's helmet) or just plain copies (The Panther is exactly like Marvel Comics' Black Panther, Marvel being the company Stan The Man is CEO of... this website breaks it down very well.

They keep saying hockey fans are ''purists'' who don't like change; this time, they've added that not only do these have nothing to do with hockey, but adults aren't the target audience, ''boys and girls, aged 9 to 14'' are... except none of the heroes appear to be girls, for one, and two, why wouldn't those kids be better off with the actual heroes (Wolverine, Batman, Iron Man, Thing)? And are we trying to make our kids retarded by giving them Stan Lee-type storylines?

I sincerely hope everyone involved loses all their money in this stupid project. If the comics company can go bankrupt and it can reflect on Gary Bettman at the same time, it will have been for the best. Can you believe Bettman, just a few years ago, had Todd McFarlane as part-owner of the Edmonton Oilers... uh, hello? Comics, as an art form, has evolved a lot since the 40s (Stan Lee's time), 60s (Robert Crumb's time), and even 90s (McFarlane's time). One of those three is deceased, one remains relevant today, and the other is a relic that only Kevin Smith still pays attention to - and even that is clearly just out of respect.

To be fair, here is the link to the people in charge of the Guardian Project defending their idea and where it's headed, albeit very poorly.

Friday, October 8, 2010

This Can't Possibly Be Good

The NHL. The National Hockey League. The least serious of the ''four major sports leagues in North America''.

And Stan Lee. The out-dated comic book creator who came up with a bunch of superheroes in the 60s (Spider-man, Iron Man, The X-Men), all of whom learned that ''with great power comes great responsabilities'', give or take a thesaurus to slightly change the gimmick for each new character.

Have teamed up. To create a new series. Of 30 superheroes. One for each NHL city. Inspired by the teams' and cities' ''identities''. More Not that much info here.

Oh boy. I can smell it already...

Duck-man in Anaheim. Bird-man in Atlanta. Evil Loser-Leaf-man in Toronto. The Knight Ranger in New York. French Man in Montréal. Storm's brother Bolt in Tampa. Panther-man in Miami. Red Wheels in Detroit.

This is going to suck so bad.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Racist Batman (Parody)

Those who know me know of my affection for comic books, especially the character Batman.

By night - or whenever there is crime to fight - he is The Bat, The Dark Knight, the big scary creature expertly-trained in all forms of combat protecting the innocents from dangerous criminals.

By day - or when there are really hot women to seduce - he is Bruce Wayne, the most intelligent, classy and beautiful guy on the planet - he's Brad fucking Pitt, not Christian Bale - a 10, not a B+.

In any event, I fell on a nice parody of the Bale-Batman, showing racism in a conversation with someone playing Commissioner Gordon the Gary Oldman way. Enjoy.


Edit: the video cuts a bit of the image to the right; for the full version, go to the original YouTube page, here.


Monday, November 30, 2009

Video of the Week: American Devices

I think I'm liking this new Video of the Week feature... the week's barely starting and I'm already all up in it...

Here's another one I upped on my Facebook page quite a few times already: The American Devices' 'You Wouldn't Understand'...

For those of you who need a description of what they're about to see, it's about a guy, sitting on a chair, in what seems to be an empty apartment, and a dominatrix walking around him, sometimes whipping him gently.

Now that that's clear, here's a bit of info on the band itself: founded 30 years ago, this all-Montréal band is 'fronted' (although I'm 150% sure he despises this term) by Rick Trembles, cartoonist extraordinaire whose work has graced the pages of such prestigious zines as Fish Piss and such renown newspapers as the Montreal Mirror; he has also just released a second volume of his Motion Picture Purgatory series, in which he critiques and analyzes a film in one page - and in comic form. Also in the band are Rob Labelle and André Asselin, other legends of our local scene, as well as another comic-book genius, Howard Chackowicz on drums.

Former member Chris Burns (who has played bass, guitar and drums in the band and whom you could also know from bands like Crackpot and Nutsak, the latter with Asselin and Chackowicz) came up with a list of former members for me to tack onto this:

Jackie Gallant (drums), Cups Von Helm (drums), Suzy Joseph (farfisa organ), Mary-Jane Lamond (keys and vocals), Louise Burns (keys and vocals), Sylvie Payne (bass), and Dave Hill (bass).
to which Trembles added:

You missed Larry Vitus & Eric (hard rock goners) Sandmark who were both on bass for a bit (in the) late eighties.
There you have it, a complete list of current and former members of the longest-lasting freak unit (and apparent revolving door, especially on bass) in town.


You can call them punk, or new wave, or rock - but you would be dead-wrong. Sure, they rock and groove harder than Devo and The Ramones, but they can also slay their instruments with more love than Ravi Shankar at Woodstock.


But, hey - maybe you get it, or maybe You Wouldn't Understand.


Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I Smell A Crossover

Along the inevitable road to ''One Company Owning All Humans'', Disney announced it has taken over/merged with Marvel Comics. That's right - the empire that once brought critically acclaimed animation (and now only brings you safe, retarded-family-friendly material) has taken over the once mighty and almost fallen but now regarded as safe haven for serious writers place of creation/revisitation comic-book giant, home to roughly 5000 characters.

I guess they can stop stealing from Hans Christian Andersen and other cultures' mythology, at least for a few months.

But we're talking about a corporation that owned Miramax and wouldn't release Kids, Dogma, and Fahrenheit 9/11, arguably three of the most important films of the last 15 years. And I will argue it, if need be, in a later column. Three works of great artistic merit, one that served as a wake-up call to just how fucked up teens were getting in the mid-90s, one by Kevin Smith, one of the best writers (possibly the best dialogue writer) of the past 15 years, and one by money-making renowned documentary filmmaker Michael Moore - not just small names, ones that were sure to make a lot of cash.

But Disney didn't have the balls to stand up against 'parenting' and religious groups who threatened to not watch ABC (a TV network they own) or go to their movies. As a giant in the world of multimedia, Disney should have taken them on - like, really, you're gonna stop your kids from seeing Tarzan? You won't buy them the Buzz Lightyear movie for Christmas? Yeah, right. There's nothing else for them! You'll make them - and ourselves miserable! Go ahead!

But no. At every single occasion, Disney balked, backed, retreated.

Now we're talking about a publisher of comic books that has its own line of adult-oriented story arcs (Marvel Max), writers who have come back into the fold because they're finally free to express themselves completely again (after having departed to Vertigo and Image for most of the past decade), and a full line of superhero movies lined up until the middle of the next decade, in an era when superhero movies are dark, violent, psychological, and deal with real-life issues like war, terrorism, the search for one's self - where sometimes, someone good must do very nasty, evil things to get to where he's going.

And we're to believe Donald Duck and Goofy will let The Punisher torture and kill mob bosses, that Iron Man won't try to hit bag Snow White and catch some sort of disease, that Hulk won't be made into some tender beast who can snuggle up to Pluto?

Let me remind you we're talking about a corporation that turned a (family) movie franchise, and a bad one at that, into an actual professional sports team - and then took its players' names and used them in an animated TV series where they are turned into hockey-playing crime-fighting ducks, including one who sports a mullet. A show, of course, that ran on ABC.

We've had millions of examples how and why these corporations and conglomerates are not Keepers Of the Arts, but it seems even worse when the company in question is one that always pussies out.

The only way this could work out is if ALL these conditions are met:

* Disney has to keep out of all Marvel's decisions
* not the same screenplay over and over while just changing the character
* no songs sang by the cast in the movie
* having the balls to resist 'boycotting campaigns' from religious and 'parenting' groups
* a bit of the old ultra-violence
* T & A
* name directors with free reigns (as Sam Raimi in Spider-Man, Jon Favreau for Iron Man, Bryan Singer for the first couple of X-Men films...)

Only then might it work.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

How I Broke My Back And Learned To Let A Bomb Go Off

Thursday, April 14th, 2009. Roughly 3:30PM.

This will seem like some Harvey Pekar-type shit - and maybe, really, I should do matter-of-fact semi-boring comics rather than blogs - but it's a story with enough sad/funny/pathetic life in it that it was worth putting up - kind of like telling the world about losing my virginity to a condom with a hot older chick watching. But here it is:

I am home, as has been the case of late, what with the lack of work I've been subjected to. With me is the Lady Of the House, and her best friend, Alternate Lady Of The House. I'm in my (home) office, working - writing. They're talking, and come to a question I have the answer to. I get up from my chair with the clear intention of providing valuable input that, admittedly, I could have screamed across three rooms, but I decided to deliver the message in person. I'm polite and gallant that way.

Except I don't make it all the way up. When I reach the second-model of the evolutionary chart, caveman-like 45-degree angle (or so it seems), my back locks in, the bottom of it turning all matter into excruciating pain. So I never make it all the way up. And as each step forward takes longer to achieve, my body also gradually fails to rise; two steps in I scream, three steps in I crouch and scream again; fourth step is a knee on the floor, a loud FUCK! and finally there I lay, flat on my stomach, immobile.

The beltway in my pants happens to be right at the junction between my office and the dining room, meaning my torso is in the dining room, and my legs are in my office. It looks silly, but it feels ridiculous. Both Ladies Of The House laugh, as they fail to comprehend the level of pain I'm in.

I can take pain. I've played injured in macho sports like hockey and football. I've walked 45 minutes home from school on a broken foot and ankle at age 9. I've had a broken foot for the past two years. I've had toothaches and tooth nerve pain. I've had regular back pain for the past 15 years, usually for a couple of days at a time, every two or three months. I know pain, and I tolerate it well. But never had I felt this particular level of pain.

I was, for all intents and purposes, paralyzed. I couldn't move my legs without provoking my back to ache, and it was worse with the left leg, which I felt still existed but didn't want to respond to my orders. Worse still, when I tried moving it, be it with my arm or my other leg, the pain was killing me.

So both Ladies, experts at ridiculing others, started making fun of me and my predicament, but even laughing brings pain, which only makes it funnier to them. Soon enough, they are next to me - well, my torso part anyway - rolling on the floor, crying of laughter.

Alternate Lady, being a professional dancer and dance teacher, also often has back injuries and back pain, and tried to help me out by using team stretching techniques, namely on my left leg. But the laughter had brought air into my body, and as soon as she lifted my bent leg up towards my ass, I passed gas. And it was one of those noisy farts, too, right in her face. Of course, First Lady starts cracking up again, so do I (and pain ensues), Alternate Lady drops my left leg in shock and awe - and that hurts even more. And apparently, that level of pain is just fucking hilarious to obdurate women, and the Funny Fest lives onwards.

Fifteen minutes pass by with little to less action action to recount, so Alternate Lady decides to leave and head to her own place. I'll still be on the floor for another hour before I can even attempt to move, when the Lady and I unite our forces and manage to get my ass in bed, where I'll lay for at least another hour without moving so much as a finger.

Throughout the course of the evening, I will attempt bold maneuvers like trying to go to the washroom to take a leak, but the first couple of times I can't even manage to get there at all and have to retreat to bed, while the third time is a semi-charm, one in which when I get there, helped, my penis seems to have stage fright. Just what I fucking need.

My head feels dizzy from the constant pain, and I can't stand upright for more than a few minutes. And on the few chairs I do try to sit on, the pain comes to warn me that it isn't a good idea to stay there. Eventually I find out the living room couch is a relatively comfortable place where I can sit in a tolerable amount of discomfort, with the added bonus of entertainment - TV, cable, DVD player, Playstation 3, Blue-Ray discs... it's where I'll spend the next week, give or take. Sleeping sitting down, in just about the same position for a week, my back is getting better - the meds are helping, gotta love those painkillers - but my ass is starting to hurt and my legs often get numb. But I'm up-to-date on Weeds and saw every movie nominated for this year's Oscars. And I finished my season of NHL 09.

So I got my pop culture done, had an excuse to be a couch potato and to neglect my blog for a week, and even got to a level of intimacy with Alternate Lady that only anal sex could have achieved or matched, but she doesn't believe in that shit anyway.

As Ice Cube said:
All in all, I gotta say, it was a good day