Tenth Time's The Charm

A woman from the Bronx seems to have an unusual addiction: marriages. The problem isn't that the 38-year-old has married 10 times, it's that she hadn't divorced them all before getting hitched again. Husbands 1, 2, 5 and 7, for example, were only let go after her marriage to 9.

Furthermore, according to NBC News, ''Liana Barrientos, 38, is charged with offering a false instrument after allegedly obtaining marriage certificates with 10 men between 1999 and 2010.''

Wait, a false instrument? If all marriages were consummated, I'd say the instrument might have been the only truth that was out there (you see what I did there?), but this will be a fascinating case to watch unfold.

There is some speculation that these marriages are for immigration purposes, so, legally, many departments and charges could each have their own say in how the case is handled.

The New York Times had an interesting and sarcastic take on it:

The year 2002 was very busy for a young woman named Liana Kristina Barrientos.

For one thing, she got married - on Long Island, on Valentine’s Day.

For another, she married again, 15 days later, in Rockland County, to a different man.

Thirteen days after that, while still married to at least two men, she wed yet another, back on Long Island.

And then a few weeks later, when the average bride might still be recovering from her honeymoon, Ms. Barrientos was named in a divorce proceeding initiated by a man she married three years before.

By the time 2002 was done, she would marry three more men, each in a different town in New York State. (...)

Friday is also going to be busy for Ms. Barrientos, who is now 39. She will be arraigned on felony fraud charges in State Supreme Court in the Bronx.

 I'm just astounded that this didn't happen in Florida.

Next Up On My Wall: 3 Autographed Samantha Fox Posters

Here is a post lifted from my Collectibles blog...

I received this cylinder in the mail two weeks ago and have been waiting to make good use of it ever since:

Yes, that's direct mail from Samantha Fox, my favourite lead singer of the 1980s, my favourite pop music queen, my childhood crush obsession, the lone ''non-rock'' patch on my teenage jean jacket...

I contemplated having its contents laminated, but because they are of ''unusual'' (read: British) dimensions (12x16.5 inches), I would have had to do so on larger-than-the-poster canvasses; it took me a long time to find ideal-sized and affordable frames... until last Sunday.

And so:

Oh, yes, these are going on my wall.

She sells unsigned versions of these at 10 pounds apiece ($20 U.S.), and signed ones for 30 each ($60 U.S.). I got them for much, much less than that - because I'm a musician, proved to be a true fan, did my best to attend every single one of her performances in my part of the world... and took advantage of a sale on her website. 1+1+1= oh yeah.

There are days where I regret some of the choices I've made in my life, like foregoing on a hockey career to pursue my education, or choosing the least faithful out of two possible ladies as a long-term companion, or leading a relatively unhealthy lifestyle without the trade-off of at least feeling like it was worth the damage done.

But there are days where I tell myself that every choice I've made has led me right here, and there is no way I could possibly want to trade that away. This is one of them:

There is a God - he just hasn't made me a photographer. BEST BLACK DRESS, EVER; ALL-TIME GREATEST USE OF WIND. I even noticed the shoes, and I'm neither gay nor a lady! Oh, and superb signature. I nominate this as the greatest piece of human history ever created.

There is also this sexy bustier shot, which I had a blown-up poster of (unsigned) earlier in my life:

And this one, showing a rather large tattoo I had never noticed on her before (let me reiterate that I've seen her perform live and state for the record that I've met her maybe 5 years ago when she came to town to play an outdoors show at out Gay Pride festival):

Another cool black dress, the like of could have been worn in a sexy, almost-goth fashionable wedding à la November Rain, the epic 1992 Guns N' Roses video. I volunteer to be the groom.

Idiot Of The Month

I've been sitting on this one for a few weeks now, because it's really graphic. Horrific, really, and even more stupid than it is violent.

It's a fuck-up, dancing at a wedding, with his AK-47, getting so excited he kills 3 people.

And, no, it's not a Christian Conservative at a gay wedding... just an over-excited idiot going Gangnam Style...

PLEASE DO NOT WATCH THIS IF YOU THINK IT MIGHT UPSET YOU.

Today's Sign Of Our Civilization's Decadence

It has come to this. Millions of years of evolution, thousands of years of recorded human history, 400 years of white folks living in what is now called Canada, and now, in 2012...

I just can't believe it. I thought this was the pinnacle of 2000s-vomit-inducing-Canadiana...

But no...

Avril Lavigne and Nickleback's Chad Kroeger are engaged. To be married.

Think of the children - theirs!

It's the second time Lavigne marries one of her songwriters - watch out Linda Perry!

Kroeger was never married himself, but is still in divorce proceedings with his previous common-law partner who, it should be noted, for having the strength and courage to probably have had sex with him, deserves to get his private jet and Mexican holiday home in the split.

Not many people were aware - or even cared - that they were dating, so pictures like this one flew completely off the radar:

Fittingly, he's wearing a douchebag-style motif t-shirt and she looks like a nobody. Or Nicole Kidman's mouse-child.

I could go on for days, but I need my beauty sleep.

Heidi Klum And Seal Divorce

Temper, temper.

Before it becomes old news, I should tell you I was not to blame for Heidi Klum divorcing Seal. Unlike the Demi Moore and Halle Berry marriages, where I was the main reason.

Love that hair! And the dress, of course!

Do You Realize?

One show I would have liked to see at last weekend's Osheaga Festival was the Flaming Lips. Well, Cypress Hill too, but FL the most.

For one, it seems they played their album The Soft Bulletin from start to finish - and claim it was perhaps for the last time. But I would also have liked to have witnessed frontman Wayne Coyne officiate a wedding ceremony right before the last song, their biggest hit, Do You Realize?

My friend Albérick seems to have liked it as well. (He disliked the Hill). Jordan Zivits of The Gazette - I'd never heard of him before either - loved it, too.

Sad News, Men

I had a post about Megan Fox earlier today...

Turns out she married Brian Austin Green, the DJ/nerd douchebag from the original Beverly Hills 90210 series in a quiet ceremony in late June...

Guess I'll have to post about Halle Berry and Kate Winslet, I hope you don't mind...