The Desire Curve

I was out having a drink with a couple of friends - who happen to, indeed, be a couple - and they tend to be a little too open with me. ''Full disclosure'' is never enough for them, they always keep providing more details than I need - on any subject.

Their sex life is one that pops up often. Frequency, duration, length, width, exact number of pulls, tugs and hits - it's like I was there, each time.

Tonight was no exception.

I got an hour-long tirade on her part on how he doesn't provide as many heavy sensations as he used to, and no matter what argument he used to describe the current state of their relationship, it always led to ''things were better before'' and crap like that. Until I came with the killer phrase:

The problem is he's gotten to know you better, and because of that, he cares about you more. Before, he'd fuck you constantly, like each second was going to be his last one on earth, and he really wanted that last one to be with you.

Now, he envisions a future with you. He wants to only provide you with great moments, moments you'll cherish forever, because he thinks it's what you're worth. He doesn't want to risk a half-assed attempt that will disappoint; he only wants to be at the top of his game for you.

It's not that he wants you less, it's that he loves you more.

That's why, sometimes, when you're both too drunk to even walk home, when you get there, he asks you to wait until the next morning: to provide for you and hit you with his maximum effort.

She went to bed thinking she was the hottest female on the planet. He got a guilt-free full night's sleep.

I've done my job, once again.