I've now been awake for 37 of the last 40 hours, including the last 25 in a row. My eyes are doing everything they can to close, my brain can barely stop them anymore.
That Rockstar energy drink didn't work wonders, that's for sure, and the Diet Pepsi is making me want to puke.
I'm fucking freezing one minute, too hot to breathe the next - it's like I'm menopausing. My arms are twitching and moving uncontrollably.
I remember I wrote about not sleeping last year around this time, when I was in Cuba having the time of my adult life, but I was in good dispositions then, and I was drinking every hour I was awake, which isn't the case right now - on both counts.
I'm locked in a cubicle, writing, surrounded by people who are constantly on the phone. Even their never-ending chatter barely keeps me awake. And once this is over, which can be in half an hour or an hour from now, I'm the one calling it, I have to go to a show I booked for my annual Birthday Festival - one I've been looking forward to for at least a couple of weeks now.
I'm just afraid I might fall asleep in the subway on my way there or, worse still, there.
And I know I'll forget how bad I'm feeling at this time tomorrow. Come to think of it, I guess I always do, because sleeping is not something I do on a regular basis, for better or worse - this time, worse. But I keep doing it, to the tune of a couple of sleepless nights a week.
And I feel bad for the familiar faces that I only see during my yearly festivities, and for the new faces I get to meet, but on nights like tonight, I'm just showing up to show up - I'm phoning it in. Good thing I'm just there to enjoy the show and not to perform!
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