Monday, April 22, 2013

Generalized Geography Fail

As could have easily been predicted, the internets were full of ignorant, incompetent fools putting their two cents in towards who should receive a free bombing in retaliation for the Boston attacks, and the clear winners were: the Czech Republic, and its 1918-1993 counterpart, Czechoslovakia.

Because, of course, idiots have no clue what Chechnya is, let alone where it's situated. Quick recap: it's one of the few territories Russia refused to let secede when the USSR collapsed, because like the Spaniards and English-Canadians, Russians like to own other people and their land, and to collect their taxes. Empires have a tendency to not be very good at letting go...

For the geographically challenged, here is a map:

It would suck if, say, Bratislava (capital of Slovakia, which seceded from the Czech Republic in the mid-nineties) were to get invaded because uneducated assholes couldn't tell the difference between two completely different peoples and countries. The Czech capital is Prague, and the Chechen capital is Grozny, by the way. They are separated by 10 to 20 countries, depending which route you take and how you define the republics still owned by Russia.

But back to the internets:

I wonder if ''down'' means 'North'' or ''South''

It probably has to do with the U.S. winning silver at hockey at the last Olympics, Czechs don't fuck around with hockey
See previous: hockey. Also, the Czech Republic is up North, far from the devil's heat, although Patrik Elias is Czech and plays for the Devils in New Jersey...

Someone doesn't understand how the Russians invaded the Czechs repeatedly from 1948 to 1988, with 1968 being the biggest show of force

Yep, they killed a guy from the past...

Again, look at the map, those countries are pretty wide apart as well

''Aren't of any'' - does a double-negative cancel out the fact that that Czechoslovakia hasn't existed for 20 years, or does it magically bring it back to life?

Probably by way of New Zealand and Zimbabwe...

Towel heads... really? Who's living in 1620 now?

Yes, let's blame a whole country for 2 guys' work... we couldn't even do that when the two guys were Dick Cheney and George W. Bush...

And for the fuck of it, Italy, too.

I've heard of brothers from another mother, but from another country altogether? Also: Boston Massacre jokes. Well played. If you can't laugh at dead babies, the terrorists win.

''One day''... I guess after Iraq, Afghanistan, the upcoming wars with Iran and North Korea, Syria, and all the other countries with mutual hatred/disdain for one another, the list is getting pretty long...

Also, the Midwest is full of former Brits that probably still love the Queen, the Northwest has a lot of Germans (need I say more) and New York is full of non-whites - who knows how many of them could be scary?

I'm pretty sure not, but 'Super Slayan' might be tweet-talk for ''I failed the fifth grade because I was too busy sucking cock at the back of the class''

And that's just the tip of the iceberg, of course. So much so that - and I shit you not - the Ambassador of the Czech Republic had to issue this fucking statement:

My faith in humanity has almost disappeared completely.

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