Gallagher Hospitalized After Heart Attack

For the second time in a year, comedian Gallagher was hospitalized after suffering a heart attack. I'm glad CNN took time off of their useless Republican Primary coverage (not because it's the Republicans, but because they actually have nothing going on despite their jumbo-matrons and situation rooms and hounding of vote counters - but more on that at a later date) to talk about the guy Comedy Central ranked the 100th best comic of all-time.

They put Louis C.K. at 98 and David Cross at 85, though, with fucking Howie Mandel at 82, so what the fuck do they know?

Anyway, back to the watermelon smasher. Wait, there's nothing else to say, unless you want to mention that his most-famous skit, the ''Sledge-O-Matic'', is nothing more than a parody of a 60s appliance Veg-O-Matic (''it slices, it dices!'') that he's kept repeating ad nauseam, murdering millions of fruit for no valid reason throughout the decades.