Thursday, January 23, 2014

Death Watch

What I want right now is for someone dead to give me their watch, provided it's a Tikker.

What's a Tikker? Well, it's a watch that, after answering screening questions on the manufacturer's website, estimates your date and time of death according to statistics, your health, and your age and lifestyle, ''so you can take full advantage of the rest of your life'':

Wait... ''suck the marrow from it''? As if it didn't sound like they were preying on the weak enough already by selling folks a dollar-store watch for $60?

Also, how come no one answered ''overdose on heroin after killing someone I truly hate''? And how come they show that one guy visiting what seems to be the Grand Canyon, taking pictures with his cell phone? Who is he saving those memories for if he's about to die, and why can't those people just Google the Grand Cayon and see better pictures of it?

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